Stupid TV Commercial Sunday # 40

OK so this commercial has been on for awhile, but it is actually kind of funny.  Not because the dogs are right at the end - it's funny because it makes dogs look stupid.  I mean c'mon, where are those fierce fangs we hear so much about?  And NO amount of doggie treats can combat their horrid dragon breath.

You guys look really stupid

OK OK OK I can't pretend it isn't funny!  And there is a website that lets you try it on your own animals.  So we tried it out on our dogs, because dentures on cats isn't funny at all. If you have stupid dogs in your house you want to try this on you can go to this site.  But please note: we didn't do it to Beau, because putting dentures on a dog old and decrepit enough that he might actually need his own dentures just isn't cool.

First here is Breezy, because she always chases us.

Looking good there you dippy dog

Next is Layla, that blimp of a basset.  She likes to chase us too but she also takes up a ton of space on the couch, space that could be otherwise occupied by us cats.

Laugh it up blimpy

And finally is Rosco, all blinged up because of his obsession with GQ models and showing off his man region.  And Santa hat.

You have something in your teeth...  bwahaha...

This has been the best Stupid TV Commercial Sunday ever!

The Second Edition of Sexy Basset GQ and Swimsuit Monthly

Hello faithful blog readers! Hello new blog readers! Hello random internet searchers looking up 'sexy bassets'! Welcome to the Second Edition of Sexy Basset GQ and Swimsuit Monthly (as we are calling it this time). We were overwhelmed with pictures of basset guys and gals strutting their stuff, and we have an action-packed group this time around! So without further adieu (whatever that is), here they are!

Yogi

We start our latest sexy basset extravaganza with a hot senior hound named Yogi. He is quite the charmer, and uses his years of experience to entice unsuspecting people into giving him belly rubs. He loves kids and other dogs, as an all-around adorable hound ought to. Witness the allure of older hounds as he sits majestically on his padded throne!

Worm

Worm is a regular at our favorite basset haunt, cyberhound! He has also been a Famous Basset Hound! Though his name is Worm, he doesn't always move like one. His picture highlights his athletic abilities and youthful vigor! Observe his muscle definition in his arms and hindquarters. Ladies, this young hound loves girl bassets, but his heart has been captured by a sweet young basset - but feel free to savor the eyecandy-ness.

Annie

Our own Famous Hound buddy Annie is back in action! As a beach bunny California hound, Annie likes to do all the things that sexy basset gals do, such as go to the beach and work on her tan! She lounges with the best of them, and drapes those ears in an oooh-la-la way!

Princess Buttercup

Our next sexy hound is Princess Buttercup! She keeps her girlish figure up with long walks followed by long naps! She enjoys (well... tolerates maybe) her pawdicures, as she knows that polished nails and pearls are an absolute must for on-the-go basset socialites. She is also a very accomplished volunteer hound, spending a few afternoons a week at the local high school as their unofficial mascot (The 'Fighting Sexy Bassets' has a very nice ring to it). Her mom works in sports medicine, and she loves a good baseball game (but not track meets - those starter pistols wear a sexy basset's nerves out!). She also likes to ride in her off-road gator and have the wind blow her ears back! Princess Buttercup emailed us her picture as she ran off to find the poolboy, before her two-legged cousins realized she cut holes in their swimming suit for her tail...

Henry

This handsome hunka hound is named Henry! He is a dashing young gentleman who teases the ladies with his ear-in-the-mouth playful attitude. He likes to practice his tummy shots, and he is evidently a French kisser! Many unsuspecting admirers have found he slips his tongue into their mouths as they bend over the give him some attention. The coy look above says it all!

Daisy Mae

This dreamy gal is named Daisy Mae, and she is sleeping off her troubles! Young at heart and already mastering the art of belly rub seduction, Daisy Mae knows when to smile for the camera (and take a load off)!

Charlotte

We continue our trend of hot young basset girls spreading themselves out on couches! Here we find Miss Charlotte in her pretty pink bathing suit (although it appears she has gone the risque route and forgotten her bottom...). Charlotte tops off the pose with that squinty, sexy basset eye look that drives all the boy bassets wild... this is a hound girl who knows what she is up to!

These next hounds are the fabulous foursome. How so much basset sexiness can exist in one house and not drive the neighbor dogs to insanity is beyond us!

Scout

This hound is named Scout, and he is the master of the puppydog eyes! This distinguished hound man sways human and hound female alike with his piercing glances, charming them to his every whim! Being a down-to-earth, t-shirt kind of hound helps too!

Precious

Precious is a hound who is very flexible, in all the right ways! Some people may laugh when her parents call this her 'walrus pose', but as every flexible hound knows, the hindquarters are where it's at! Maybe walruses know a thing or two about sexiness!

Gracie

Gracie is the boss of the fab foursome household! This beautiful girl has a take-no-garbage from anyone kind of attitude, and that spunky fortitude that draws the boys in! Her puppydog eyes aren't too bad either... and of course she's the boss! She's in the boss chair!

Hunter

Last but certainly not least, here is Hunter! Those sad, soulful hound eyes, those long ears, that sleek tricolor frame... he is definitely the houndiest of the fab foursome hounds!

Esther

Esther spends her days in the lap of luxury, sleeping on the couch and preventing her brother Charlie Brown from getting anywhere near it. She keeps her girlish figure by swimming laps in her grandparent's pool, and here you can see her trademark basset smoulder. Be careful boys, she might burn you...

MaeMae

Our next hound is our favorite kind of hound - a rescue hound! Having spent the first few years of her life making puppies, MaeMae has found her forever home (yay!). This past Christmastime was the first one she got to spend in a house with a family! And she has shown her love with lots of cuddles and lovins. She likes her belly rubs and cuddling, and of course food is a good way to any gorgeous hound gal's heart. A mischevious little devil, she also likes to play with toys (but not hers - she likes the ones that the little kids drop, and she lives at a daycare so she has tons of opportunities!). As you can see above, she has that windblown basset ear look, and she loves her naps (and dislikes having them interrupted!).

Chloe

This lovely little hound is named Chloe, and she is a regular snowbunny hound! She loves to sport her fashionable coat and play in the chilly snow, then come inside for some good cuddles to warm up! Chloe's sleek form probably glistens in the fresh-fallen snow, and that fun-loving hound attitude comes through in her photo - a snow-covered hound nose!

Monty

This lovable, squishable, 'come and cuddle me' hound is Monty. That smouldering/mooching look beckons to hound and human alike, and few can resist him! And being a red and white myself, I must say that coat pattern is to die for!

Lucy

Lucy is a very outspoken, strong-willed, full-figured elder lady hound. She's never at a loss for words, and loves kids. Maintaining an active lifestyle, her favorite time of the day is walking and eating her meals. She manages to become the center of attention at the park, where she will make the kids stop playing a ball game by running onto the field and demanding belly rubs. She is also a very protective hound matriarch, and won't go to bed until she knows that everyone else in the house is down for the night. Check her out in her stylin' dress!

Flash

Our last hound has left us for the Rainbow Bridge, where all sexy bassets end up. But just because she is gone doesn't mean that her sex appeal doesn't live on! Flash was a very laid-back, lovable, easy-going hound. She got along well with everyone, and she was a master counter surfer (one time she got an entire filet mignon, which is the best kind of steak to steal). She also loved her Sunday best outfits, complete with hats and everything! Her people miss her, and Flash was everything a sexy basset should be!

So that's it! You have made it through another round of sexy basset guys and gals! We hope your heartrate will get back to normal soon! Thanks to all our sexy basset participants, and if you think you'd like to have your basset be in one of our GQ/Swimsuit editions, check out cyberhound for more details!

Combined Basset GQ/Swimsuit Magazine Spread

Well it's finally here!  After a few intense weeks of procrastination we are publishing our first ever combined Basset GQ/Swimsuit Magazine spread!  


So here we go.  Our first entry (what we would consider the front cover) is Boomer.  We decided to let him grace our cover because today is his birthday!  So our hot young hunk hound Boomer is the first in our lineup - everyone after him is shown in random order.

Basset GQ Male #1 - Boomer

Boomer celebrates his first birthday today, and the birthday boy is that perfect blend of charm and refinement that we look for on the cover of our Basset GQ/Swimsuit magazine.  His 'come hither' look tells the ladies that this young basset man has an air of mystery and excitement to him....

... but that he also knows the importance of sometimes just staying in with a loved one.  Affectionate, upright, mysterious, and dashing - what more could a hound lady look for?

Boomer kicks things off for us!

Basset Swimsuit Female # 2 - Whiskey

Whiskey is definitely a feisty basset lady.  Her pictures prompted some concern amongst our editorial staff about the direction we wanted to take this magazine, and we were worried that her pictures would be too racy for our reading audience.  But then Rosco posted her online before anyone could stop him, saying that she was obviously not ashamed of her beautiful basset figure, so why should we be?  Whether you think they are pornographic or not, Whiskey's au natural look and gymnastic pose definitely marks her as a basset girl who knows what she wants out of life.

Not afraid to play the sultry card either, Whiskey is capable of using her body to get what she wants.  Here she lounges on one of her many favorite beds, showing off the stoutly graceful curves that her basset body was blessed with.  We couldn't help but notice her deep, staring eyes either...

Whiskey has set a pretty high bar for the ladies!

Basset GQ Male # 3 - Rosco

Our very own Rosco P. Puppyman is our third entry.  Rosco's sense of humor, good-nature, and faithfulness have endeared him to many basset lovers since we began Jowls of Fury.  He is also the first hound here to think up the Basset GQ idea, and his blog post is what started it all.  Rather than continue to extoll his many virtues, we offer up only one of his latest sexy poses:

He calls it "There's room for one more"...

Basset GQ Male # 4 - Barnaby

Our good friend Barnaby entered his post just this morning, and he really wowed us with his material.  Barnaby is definitely a ladies' hound, making sure to get his own one-on-one time with all the ladies he can.  He also defines the basset attitude that we all love: calm, assertive, powerful, sometimes demanding, elite, and aloof.  

You may have bought this chair... I made it sexy.

Barnaby is also the life of any party, making sure that everyone in his immediate vicinity has a good time.  The hound ladies love him for his outgoing, fun-loving nature, and he is quick to join in the fun and festivities.

Poor kid didn't stand a chance...  I'm the numero Uno dog, so of course I'm good at this game...

He shares his hound pad with Scarlett (another of our Swimsuit females today), and he shares his affections for her often.

Here is a hound who knows what he wants and how to get it!

Basset Swimsuit Female # 5 - Breezy

The newest member of Jowls of Fury out aside her stuffy, better-than-this attitude about our magazine spread and really brought out her sexy for this shoot!  Breezy's taller, longer frame allows her to get into some very creative positions, and like our first swimsuit model for this magazine, she has decided to bare it all!

Breezy has come a long way from the demure, submissive hound lady she was just two short months ago.  Like snow melting in the spring, her exterior skittishness has melted away, showing the sometimes bossy, always loveable, occasionally promiscuous hound girl that lies within!

Basset Swimsuit Female # 6 - Scarlett

Miss Scarlett lives with her "not my boyfriend" Barnaby.  She is a refined basset lady, and she has decided to take the high road in this magazine.  Classy, well-read, she is a southern lady, rescued and brought to a caring forever home.  Her proper accent belies a sweet, sometimes playful interior, as she is not above a good roll in some poo (a gal has to decorate herself up once in awhile).

Scarlett is at heart a southern gal, and she enjoys doing all of the outdoor things that southern gals do - including running, playing, chasing squirrels, etc.  This girl is definitely a keeper, or she will be if any hound boys are lucky enough to win her heart!

Basset GQ Male # 7 - Bowser

Our next sexy basset male is a bit of a tease.  Bowser sports the classic tri-color scheme, but he plays the hard-to-get game.  In his own words:

Don't let the coy look, the teasing leg lift, and the last minute cover-up for modesty lead you on. Bashful Boy Bowser can flaunt it like the ladies but when it comes right down to it...he just (literally) doesn't have the balls to bare it all.

Ever the tease, he enjoys a nice game of "grab the toy...OH no i jerked it away from you and ran away" and nothing beats a good lazy lying down game of tug-o-war. But don't get the impression he's all tease and no sleaze. Bowser likes sniffing a good butt just like the rest of the furry crowd. Still, no dominance humping for this young 1 year old. He treats dogs of all sizes with respect and only a cursory sniff before running back to the safety of Mama. 

 Yes, ladies, he is a Mama's boy...but with those soulful eyes, coy toe-kisses as he walks by your feet, and groans of pleasure when you hug and scratch him...he'll having you fall into platonic love in no time.

Sounds like a tough act to follow!

Basset GQ Male # 8 - Fergus

Fergus also provided his own information for our photo spread:

Fergus is seen here in his preferred bathing attire (nothing!); careful ladies, he's taken. His hobbies include taking leisurely walks through the park at dusk, orating on the hows and whys of basset hounds, and counter-surfing. When not chasing his life companion (a horrible cat) around the house, Fergus can be found stretched out on his favorite sofa gently sucking his ears. His favorite food is all food and his beverage of choice is luke warm water. 

The hound ladies in this household love that knock-kneed resting position!

Basset GQ Male # 9 - Toughynutter

Our next hound is the one and only Toughynutter!  Mr. Toughy (and we made sure we spelled it right) was quite the famous hound, having been a show dog, a snowplow, an experienced agility hound, a bit off-kilter, and an all-around wealth of information on the breed.  His favorite photo shows him in his glory, as an offbeat, rugged, adventurous hound.

Basset GQ Male # 10 - An anonymous pup

Our next basset GQ entry has requested anonymity, and who can blame them?  This young pup would have to beat hound ladies off with a stick if his address ever got out.  Combining youthful beauty and innocence with a tempting 'bedroom eyes' look, our anonymous pup is going back into hiding now, before the masses of hound females find him...

Basset GQ Male # 11 - Chester

Our last basset male is Chester, and his appeal is in his hair!  It apparently works with the ladies!

Just look at those long, curly locks!  Chester's sporting the long look while most other bassets keep their coats short and trim, giving him an uncut, rough-around-the edges look. It certainly helps him earn those belly rubs!

Chester enjoys the good life, and likes to share his time with his friends at parties.  He might be considered a bit of a booze hound by some (he jokingly referred to this picture as 'too many bloody mary's'), but he just thinks he is making the best use of his time.

Basset Swimsuit Female # 12 - Layla

Our last female, and entry, is the one and only Layla 'Prettygirl' Jane.  She is a true diva, knowing both how beautiful she is and that she deserves only the highest standards.  Layla is shameless in her pursuit of belly rubs and treats.

An unfairly surrendered hound, Layla was rescued and has since been living the good life.  Couches, beds, treats, cats to chase, and brothers and sisters to play with have been hers for the taking.  She is just waiting for that special basset someone to come along and sweep her off her feet (not literally, Rosco).

Layla did not care for her new sister at first, but they have begun to get along a bit more recently (enough to pose for a synchronized basset photo shoot)!

These twelve hounds were the first round of our combined Basset GQ/Swimsuit edition.  Stay tuned for the next round (once we find them all)!

Combined Basset GQ/Swimsuit Edition

There was a great deal of debate about this blog entry.  Rosco wanted to write it, since he was the hound that thought up the original idea (complete with glittery bling headlining and all).  Layla countered that since she was clearly the most sexy of all the hounds, she ought to have first dibs.  Breezy took the seemingly incompatible stance that such hedonism was beneath her, and that she was the more aged and experienced of all the hounds at Jowls of Fury, and so the honor of announcing our combined Basset GQ/Swimsuit Edition blog should fall to her.

Somehow a guy who just shaved his beard off because it itched too much ended up being the one to write the announcement.  It's been awhile since I wrote anything on here anyway, so here goes.

Jowls of Fury is hosting the first ever Basset GQ/Swimsuit Edition blog.  This will be an entry on Jowls of Fury in approximately a week or two (depending on how long it takes us to get enough entries as well as write our own) where we showcase all the sexy, sultry, suave, and sophisticated basset hounds of the internet.  If you are interested in entering your basset (or yourself - as the hounds quickly pointed out, some hounds write their own blogs.  I have never had such overbearing editors), then please do the following:

1. Take a picture of your basset hound/yourself in a suitable pose.  Suitable poses include sitting, standing, running, laying on the floor, or any other picture you can find.  Costumes are acceptable.  There has been some question about the pornographic nature of some entries - we can either blur or blackbox the photos if you want them to be that way, or we can let your hound go au natural.  
2. Write an entry blurb that you would like to go with your hound's photo.  Bear in mind that this ought to be similar to the stuff you see in either human GQ/Swimsuit Edition magazines (so you can either describe interests, hobbies, or talk about how much the swimwear/suit/tie costs).  Or you can get creative and write basically whatever you want!  The only editorial stance we might take is to censor any obviously inflammatory/racist/hateful language, but we have yet to meet a hound or hound owner who would go to such lengths, and don't anticipate any problems.
3. Email these two things to bassetgq@yahoo.com.  If you have any special requests or other concerns address them to us as well.

That's all you have to do!  We weren't planning on making this a competition of any kind - all entries will be shown and include the text that you give us.  Keep your eyes open for some sexy hounds!

Basset GQ

Because it's seems like another boring Monday, I feel as though I need to spice this place up. Behold my newest endeavor:

[Glitterfy.com - *Glitter Words*]

Inspired by the recent blog posted by Gus on Hounds about Town, I have decided to start my modeling career. Here are my most recent entries for my new magazine Basset Gentlemen's Quarterly.

This is my sexy come hither pose. Can you feel my smoldering eyes on you?

My fun, carefree Basset next door pose.

And finally the ever so tempting over the shoulder ears back pose.

The newest issue to Basset Gentlemen's Quarterly will be coming to a newstand or computer screen near you.