Miss Mayzie's Adoption Week

Hello readers, Korbin here. I have decided to take another shot at blogging after I overheard the buzz on Miss Mayzie's Adoption Week. This is an important project even if it is being spearheaded by a dog (you can find all the details here). Basically, she is trying to promote pet adoption by asking all of us bloggers to showcase an animal who needs a forever home. If we win a random draw at the end of the adoption week, she will donate$100 to whatever rescue organization we want.

So after doing a little searching online, I decided to showcase the coolest Maine Coon I could find in our area. He has a pretty awesome name too - his name is "After Midnight", and you can read all about him here. His profile is short on details but I decided to pick him because:

a. he has such an awesome name

b. he obviously enjoys his 'nip - "After Midnight" was a song that was performed by a couple of humans like Clapton and Marley, and they certainly enjoyed their version of 'nip

c. his picture is sideways. He clearly marches to the tune of a different drummer

Non-conformist Maine coons rule

So if you are thinking about getting yourself a cool cat then look no further. Also check out the dog's blog to see who else is posting pets that are up for adoption.

Peace out.

'nip

It's been awhile since I had some good 'nip. I was having some pretty strong cravings the other day but my stash is away in the cupboard, much higher than I can jump. So I guess this video will have to suffice.

The fresh stuff is much better than the dried packaged stuff. At our old house we grew our own but this new place is different. Too many neighbors for that kind of thing. But look at that 'nip party - those guys are really having fun. Some of them are having a bad trip though - all that swatting and growling.

... wait did he say tomcat urine? Man I don't need to know these things!

Whiskers of Fury is not the utopia we all hoped for

When I joined this resistance movement I thought we would all be a nonviolent protest organization that would overwhelm our dog counterparts with citizen unrest and group singing sessions. I did not plan on being the target of nightly showcases of cat bigotry and warmongering, and I wouldn't have signed on if I'd known this right-wing outcome would come to be. I was lured into this deal with promises of the finest catnip and cushy pillows to sleep on, and assurances that the dogs would only be mocked from afar once or twice a week. Nibbler does it every night and he tries to swat them while they are sleeping.

Nibbler is a liar, a coward, and a cheat. He always runs from Oliver during Cathalla (which is stupid in and of itself, and also violent). Also, he is pompous and doesn't carry his fair share. Even with his massive, pendulous man-cat-boobs (I like to call them McBoobs). Then he saunters up to mama when she comes home and plays the loveable little kitten role, like there ever was a 20-pound kitten in the world that wasn't a tiger.

I honestly feel sort of sorry for the dogs. Sure, they chase us sometimes, but to be fair we chase each other and mice and all sorts of smaller stuff. Moths in particular are a lot of fun to chase. Does that make the chaser evil? No, it makes the chaser a cat, and a particularly good one if they actually catch what they are chasing (clue: Nibbler doesn't even try to chase anymore. McBoobs make pursuit a little difficult).  Rosco is trying to win a contest (click the link here), so maybe if we all helped him out it might lift his spirits a little (you have to go on Facebook, and then like the site it takes you to, and finally like Rosco's picture to vote for him).

Whiskers of Fury is a sham.

We are not comrades.

Weird Word Wednesday #5

It's been awhile since I posted a blog about the woeful inadequacies of the human language. Some of you may have been wondering, 'When will Beaker post another insightful and scathing review of some silly thing people say?'

So sue me. They got another dog and I didn't feel much like typing.

This week's dumb human phrase is 'shindig'. Humans use this phrase when they are trying to say 'We are having a party or a get-together'. I have mostly heard this particularly stupid way of saying that coming from the mouths of teenagers and college-age humans, who I would not miss at all if they should suddenly die in their sleep tonight. According to Merriam-Webster's online dictionary (and since this is an institution run by - you guessed it - humans - their expertise is questionable at best), the word 'shindig' is probably an altered form of the word 'shindy'. Well, that was pretty helpful.

Thanks, idiots at Merriam-Webster.

Either way, we have yet again established that human beings are incapable of clear and concise speech. Their only real utility is in cleaning litter boxes, getting out the catnip, and purchasing and distributing cat food and water, and even at those tasks they are largely inadequate.