I did not need your votes anyway

As you all know I entered into the Mango Minster Contest That is Secretly Run by Cats. I did not win. I had some competition for the Bad Sport category, but they were all clearly inferior to me and should only be viewed as pitiful examples of cats and dogs trying to be bad.

They have a lot to learn. I can only presume that this outcome is one based upon the fact that the judge is a stupid dog. If I had known that from the start I would have spent my time doing better things, like cleaning myself.

So that has been my day.

Why I am a bad sport (not really)

So there is this contest called Mango Minster. It is run by a dog, but there are some cats there as well, and I suspect they are really the brains behind the show. Anyway, last year two of the idiot dogs in this house entered and did not win. Why would they? No self-respecting cat that is playing a game of shadows with dogs would let two of the most slobbery creatures in existence win. So I decided I would enter myself this year. The cats controlling Mango Minster have wisely decided to let us enter as 'bad sports', preserving the illusion that the dogs are running the show when they are really just chasing their tails. So I will play along and tell you why I am such a bad sport (wink wink).

I'm a bad sport because I have never even tried to be friends with idiot dog 1, idiot dog 2, or supreme idiot dog 3. I would rather just growl and hiss and swat at them if they get within 10 feet of me. I'll tell you why - they have taken over my house. That and they want me dead. One of my favorite things ever is to eat my favorite food - Ocean WhiteFish and Tuna (the pureed kind, not that disgusting gravy stuff). But those stupid slobbery dogs are so frightening that I can't eat with them in the house, and even when they are outside I find it is best to stay near the safety of a bed so I can escape their dumbness if I have to.

This is the only viable option I have

Bunsen may find this acceptable but he is an idiot

... I remember the good old days, when it was just me and mama and those other cats that are beneath me.

I was such an adorable little tyke

The other cats were truly blessed to have me

Mama and I had such a special bond

All that changed one day, when idiot dog 1 came to live with us. At first he was tiny and I thought perhaps he would just live in a box in a closet somewhere. But as he grew older I realized that he had my death on his mind.

I should have known from the start

At first I was OK with being a basement cat. Then we moved to a house where the dogs got into the basement. So I had no other choice. I did what any self-respecting cat with idiot blogging dogs would do.

I took over their blog. There, I said it, and I'm not sorry. Whiskers of Fury was the best thing that ever happened to the internet, and it would've worked too, if not for a twist of fate. I have laid low for awhile, but I decided I would use my winnings from Mango Minster to send the dogs off to Siberia or somewhere, and then order a truckload of Ocean WhiteFish and Tuna to share with myself after my glorious achievement.

If that makes me a bad sport so be it.

Rescue Me # 2 (and a year in review)

We have decided to end the year here at Jowls of Fury on a high note. So let us introduce you to our second 'Rescue Me' hound.

His name is Livingston, and he is being taken care of by Hounds Haven Basset Rescue of Iowa. He is a 4 year old handsome boy who is looking for a forever home and a gotcha day to celebrate forever and ever.

How can you not love this face

My lady hound heart got all aflutter when I read his page. Mr. Livingston was found in rural Missouri - where I live! - running around as a stray dog. He had a really bad eye infection and the vet determined that his right eye doesn't produce any tears. This means he needs to have eye drops put in them to keep it moist and healthy. My heart breaks for this poor hound, because I hate medicine and the very idea of them putting it in my eyeball makes me want to bite someone. Livingston looks very rugged and in need of a lady hound's attention in that photo, squinting with his one eye that needs the eye drops. He is also afraid of people but loves little kids, kind of like Breezy. This means he was probably abused as a puppy. If he were around I would give him kisses and take care of him. But I'm sure he will find a good home with such a sweet face. If you would like to know more about Livingston you can find his page here, and you can find Hound Haven's page here.

So now on to the year in review! We have had a really busy year here at Jowls of Fury. We started new traditions like Famous Basset Hound Friday, and the other dumb ones that cats do. We tried to win prizes for Mango Minster but we weren't successful. We survived Snowpacolypse and we gave Breezy her gotcha day (although I didn't like her much at first). We had to deal with extra cats coming in the house and then we had to take the blog back from evil cats. We got to see our Michigan family this spring, and we got to go swimming at great-grandma's house and see our other family there. We didn't care for the swimming part. We had a basset GQ page (and hopefully we'll have another one soon), and we went on many car rides. Unfortunately I had to go to the vet's twice this year and I hope I never have to go again. I discovered how tasty cicadas were even if they were really noisy, and I rediscovered my dislike of daddy's walking habits. We began our HOSA dog training and we went to our favorite basset party event in the world, the waddle! We moved into a new house, one without so many steps! We visited a new dog park and we will be visiting it a lot in the future.

Oh and check out this really neat basset statue we got from Aunt Melissa, Uncle Zane, and puppy cousins Chopper and Aksel.

We have good puppy cousins

Plus grandma got me some new toys for Christmas, a new squeaky pig and a new ball.

Rosco is trying to steal my ball

Oh and Breezy is a big wuss about snow, it is the best part of winter.

I am in my element

But at some point you get cold and have to run inside for the heat!

OK enough of this, basset power activate!

So all in all it was a good year. We had our ups and downs but we ended it with a nice time and lots of love and family. We would be remiss not to remember the hounds we lost this year, so we dedicate our last blog post of 2011 to our hound friends (like Woody, Romeo, Cleo, and Flash) who are at the bridge waiting for their people to join them. If we forgot any other hounds who went to the bridge this year we apologize - please leave their name in a comment, we don't want to leave anyone out.

Mango Minster Entry #2 - Rosco as a Cracker Dog

So I looked at the Mango Minster categories and decided I best fit into the Cracker Dog group. Here's why:

1. Am I a terrier? No, but I have been methodically exercising my legs to let me jump really high (for a basset hound). I can jump on the bed, and that is saying something for a dog that only has 5 inches of ground clearance! Dad never has to help me, unlike my lazy sister. I also like to terrorize the cats (see below).
2. Zoomies? I run super fast all the time, especially when there are things to chase. Every once in awhile I run for the heck of it. Below, I am chasing a dog at the 2010 GABR waddle.
3. Dig gigantic holes? Not really, but I do have to dig in my bed every time I lay down in it.
4. Shredding? I have to check the trash periodically to shred tissue paper. SOMEONE has to do it around here. I am also fond of socks and underwear.
5. Flinging/yapping at the door? I don't 'yap'. I howl. There ought to be a basset-specific category at Mango Minster!
6. Spring-loaded legs? Dad calls me a torpedo sometimes. See #1.
7. Tennis ball spaz? We play chase every night now, and sometimes I even let mom and dad catch me. Other times I hide my toys from them so they can't throw them.

So, all in all, I am the epitome of basset hound cracker-dogness. The video below says it all.

Mango Minster Entry #1 - Layla as the Doggie Diva

We only just started blogging, and we found this great site written by a humongous dog named Mango. Mango weighs more than dad, which is saying a lot, because he is getting kind of lazy lately and hasn't been taking us for walks (hint hint). Anyway, Mr. Mango runs a show called Mango Minster, and it is designed for those of us dogs who don't want to go through the training and rigorous practice involved in the fancier dog shows. Plus, we don't have weird owners.

So I am writing my entry for Mango Minster 2011. Hopefully I can still be considered! I am going for the Doggie Diva category. My qualifications are below.

Doggie Diva Qualifiers

1. Huzzy photos all over the internet? No way! I made sure to destroy most of the evidence of me in compromising situations. All my photos are family-friendly.
2. Wardrobe bigger than my humans? Not exactly. We have more costumes than our humans but that is mostly their fault. They like to dress us up for Halloween and Christmas, but they haven't figured out yet that we hate stuff on our heads. Also, I was Rosie the Riveter at the 2010 GABR basset waddle, but that was for a good cause and it made me famous.
3. Shockingly embarrassing outfits? See #2.
4. Work for praise? Absolutely not. I only work for treats and chew bones.
5. Howling/moaning/headbutting? Not exactly. But I have trained dad to pick me up on the bed, even though I can do it myself, and I usually take his warm spot and rearrange the pillows to my exact specifications. There are lots of times where I sleep on the couch and he doesn't.
6. Own a crown or tiara? Hmmm.... well like I said in #2, we don't really like stuff on our heads... but a tiara might be just the thing...
7. At the end of the day....? Not only is it all about me at the end of the day, it's all about me ALL of the day.