Stupid TV Commercial # 39

With all the new dogs in this house it is getting difficult to watch TV.  They take up so much of the couch!  And the newest one has really bad gas!  Fortunately mom falls asleep with the TV on sometimes and I catch up on my Golden Girls episodes while they sleep.  They don't make actresses like Estelle Getty anymore.

Anyway - this new store opened up in town recently.  They have really bad commercials.  I think they are supposed to be bad, and that is supposed to make them slightly less bad somehow (humans...  go figure).  But in this case, it just remains bad.  The green eyeshadow is what does it for me.  I think she ought to have that looked at.  Plus why are her legs like that when she is flying?  If she tried to land they would buckle under her admittedly lithe, healthy-lifestyle influenced frame.

The crusades failed for a reason, you know

Anyway - time to go lay in the window and watch the birds.

Another Christmas Pig Monster

I thought with Christmastime ending that the monsters would be gone, at least for a year. But as they were putting things away the other day I noticed something. Another box, with another monster in it.

He looked like this

What is a hound girl supposed to do? Sure they are locked away in the garage in boxes, but I know next year there will be two of them instead of just the one. I fretted over this for a few days. Then I had another worry piled on top of me - it turns out there is an entire race of Christmas Pig Monsters, and they laugh at you from the tops of rickety buildings and rocks and stuff.

This is even worse

I was pretty concerned about what next year might hold. If we get enough Christmas Pig Monsters they will probably try and come inside and steal my warm spots and food. I am more than ready to kill them all but I am only one hound and many pigs could overwhelm me! Rosco and Layla are no help, they just lay there and sleep. If we are going to defend this house from them it is up to me.

So I did some online research. It turns out that Christmas Pig Monsters (and non-holiday pig monsters as well) have a weakness. Angry little birdies evidently kick their butts.

I'm glad these guys are on our side. The little yellow one is the best

So it turns out we have a bird feeder in the front yard by the door! And the cats are always watching the birds eat. I would be pretty angry if I had cats watching me eat the entire time so I'm sure those birdies are pretty angry too! So I guess we are safe. And if any Christmas Pig Monsters get past the angry birdies, I will be ready to bite them once they try and get inside. In the meantime, I am going to take a nap.

Famous Basset Hound Friday # 29

Well it is that time of the week again! Time to put your paws up and let them rest after a hard week of napping, chasing cats, and napping some more. Time to enjoy the weekend by napping in the yard and barking at the birds!

Time to enjoy Famous Basset Hound Friday! This week's famous hound is a very important basset spokeslady. Her name is Antigone Puppleupagus, and she is another well-known basset blogger.

This is Antigone

Layla and Breezy both came to us as adopted hounds, but I was bought as a puppy so I don't know how it feels to not ever be loved by someone. Antigone had a pretty hard life at first, she was in a puppy mill. Now at first a puppy mill sounded like a lot of fun - hundreds of bassets making puppies and playing with them - but mom and dad explained to me that no, puppy mills are where hounds get no love and barely any good food. All they do is make puppies that are then sold at pet stores and other places. Antigone has really bad teeth from her puppy mill days.

But then she was adopted! By a nice guy who got her from Guardian Angel Basset Rescue! In case you are new to our blog, GABR are the ones who put on the waddle every year! Oh and we are going again this year! We are making our costumes this weekend! It'll be great!

Anyway Antigone and her person got bored living in Chicago, where it snows all the time. So they got a little crazy and went on a bike ride. Now bike rides do not sound like as much fun as car rides, although any ride sounds good to me. But on a bike ride you have to sit in a weird little buggy thing and your human is outside it on a bike. Humans on bikes make me nervous, especially the noisy ones they call motorcycles - I always growl at them to let them know not to mess with me. So Antigone is not only a pretty basset out for a good cause but she is very brave. I wouldn't trust dad on a bike.

So Antigone and her person rode their bike/buggy thing across the country to spread the word about basset rescues. And it worked! They got on like ten TV and radio shows. I wish we could get on a TV show and spread the word about Jowls of Fury, and how awesome we are (except the cats). But Antigone spread the good word and she eventually ended up in a place called Oregon. Dad says there are different squirrels there (we must go!) and also things called bears. Plus it rains a lot. Better then snow though I guess.

Antigone's blog is really interesting to read, so if you haven't checked it out you should click here. She and her person are writing a book (hmmm there's an idea...) that we will buy the instant it comes out. She is our newest famous hound!

Stupid TV Commercial Sunday # 15

This week's stupid commercial came to me this morning, as I was dividing my attention between the bird feeders outside and the TV inside. Those feeders need to be monitored, as does the television. I play many important roles here.

The issue of human bathroom needs have always perplexed me. For being such creative, capable creatures, they seem to have inadequate bathroom uses. First of all, their toilet needs water, and they have to actually sit down to do their business sometimes. We cats just hover over a box and bury things when we are done - a much more eco-friendly solution (pumping all that water takes time and money). Then there is the issue of toilet paper. Cats have no need of toilet paper - we have "other" ways of cleaning up, should the need ever arise. Humans, meanwhile, waste literally tons of paper each year doing their business.

Which is where this week's stupid commercial comes in.

The obvious solution to this problem is to start using a litter box. That, or keep your wasteful toilet paper in the room where you actually need it, and not halfway across the house.

Nibbler has a big butt

The weather around here has been a lot nicer lately. For a long time it was pretty cold, and there was loads of snow and ice in the yard. We finally moved into a place where we can see out the windows and what do we get? Two months of ice and snow. Not much to look at, and hardly any birds or squirrels in sight.

That all changed recently. Once the weather started to warm up they opened the windows and the drapes so we could look out the glass doors. I'm loving those things. All of us can line up and see out it, no more crowding or head crawling or anything else when a cool little bird pops in. The last thing you want to see when a cool little bird pops in is Nibbler's butt in your face. Although if he is even in the room at all it's tough not to notice it.

These windows are definitely suboptimal, dude

We don't have our bird feeders up yet so they don't come right up to the window like they used to (see below for my favorite feeder setup), but I can still hear them chirping away out in the neighborhood. I'd like them to get close enough to see, or even reach out and grab. The place up in Michigan with all the dogs and cats has a great porch that is screened in, it's practically like living outside. I'll bet I could catch a bird if I lived outside like Joey, but of course he is such a big jerk that he makes living outside seem like a bad thing.

Either way, I'm glad warmer weather has come along.

Lucky squirrel, if this glass wasn't here I would own you

Stupid TV Commercial Sunday #1

So this is my first post to this blog. I wanted to wait and let all the other cats and dogs get their turn before I made my contribution. I've also been thinking about what I wanted to add to this thing, and I finally made my decision the other day.

I watch a lot of TV. TV can be a wonderful way to augment a nap (I take a lot of those, too). Plus, sometimes dad watches nature shows, which on our HDTV is almost as good as watching birds in the window. Once there was a show about lynxes, and I had to strut my stuff in front of the TV to show that big lynx who was boss. The outcome? He left.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of really stupid commercials on TV. When you are a brilliant cat (like me) stupid commercials that insult your intelligence make you wonder why you even bother watching TV in the first place. If I could figure out how to turn it off or on I would. Humans use a remote, but half the time the remote is across the room on the other furniture that I'm not on (I can't interrupt my nap), and the other half of the time I don't know how to operate the remote anyway. As I was holding my paws over my ears when a particularly annoying commercial came on the other day, I realized I had my blog entry idea.

So, I will be periodically posting what I like to call "Stupid TV Commercial Sunday". Clever, no? It will be posted on Sundays, but probably not every Sunday. Cat naps take precedence over most things, after all. So, without further adieu... here's the inaugural Stupid TV Commercial Sunday.

Residence Inn by Mariott commercials.

These have been on TV for awhile. They use people who are contortionists, balance experts, and other weirdos. While they are not particularly insulting to your intelligence, they beg the question: why would a hotel that wants you to stay there long-term use commercials that remind you of the circus? Do circus people stay there? Will there be a bunch of carnies at the complimentary breakfast? Will there be seals in the pool? Actually the seals in the pool part would be alright. Also, are there birds in a circus? I wouldn't mind having a room next to the birds. They could even share my room with me! And I bet there would be mice. I have seen movies with circus mice that do all kinds of jumping and dancing acts. I would approve of sharing my room with the circus mice, but the plate spinners and fire breathers can sleep in their cars, thank you.

SQUIRRELS

Howdy!

Man there are squirrels EVERYWHERE lately! I first learned of squirrels at grandma's house in Michigan! My puppy-cousin Maggie taught me about them. According to Maggie, squirrels are like rats (?) that live in trees. I thought this was patently unfair, because we dogs do not climb trees like rats (?) or birds. Man, birds really tick me off. I think they wait until you get close enough to where you think you might catch them before flying away and laugh at you. Anyway, squirrels. They sometimes come down from the trees, which is fair, because we dogs do not climb trees. If you are fast enough like Maggie (she is like lightning), you can catch them and possibly eat part of them before your human catches you in the act. Well, she didn't say the eating part, but that's what I would do. My other puppy cousin Max is not as fast as Maggie but is faster than me, but he hasn't caught any yet either. So there is hope for a non-bullet demon hound like me.

I am not fast enough, not by a long shot, to catch a squirrel. Which is too bad, because I really want to try and eat one of them, or at least smell them up close. I can smell them where they were in the yard, and I can smell where they have been digging and doing their squirrel stuff, but it's just not the same. I even found a dead one at the park the other day, but dad wouldn't let me roll on it. He never lets me do anything fun.

But back to the squirrels. They're EVERYWHERE lately! There are squirrels in my yard all the time! Even in the front, where I hardly ever get to go. Probably why there are so many of them. There didn't used to be this many. I think it's because I don't get to smell them up close. Dad seems to think it's because it is getting to be late in the year, which is when they are burying nuts and seeds and stuff to eat over the winter, and it only seems like there are more of them. But what does he know, with his soon-to-be-gotted doctorate of philosophy in zoology? I'm the one with the nose here, and it's telling me that the squirrel population in my town is exploding thanks to helicopter dog parents that don't let their hounds catch them, or at least roll on the dead ones. Bunnies, for instance, have dropped dramatically since Layla and I almost caught that one last time.

Well, that's all for now. I'd decree that they let me get those squirrels, but it won't change anything. Think I'll take a nap; there is not doubt I can catch one of those.