Stupid vacuum cleaner

So the other day mama got into one of her clean freakout modes. These happen every so often and when they do watch out. Nothing is safe, especially beautiful full-figured lady hounds who might happen to be a bit dirty because they don't live the pampered lifestyle of little foo-foo dogs.

To put it mildly we got baths. I was not very happy about this. Then she wanted to vacuum, at which point I knew she was really trying to get under my skin. I don't like vacuums. Well I was not sad to see the old vacuum finally break. Mama said a few choice words and made daddy throw it away.

This is a good place for vacuums

Well she wasted no time going out and getting a new one. I really wanted to go roll in the yard for that but daddy has been trying to grow grass and for some reason he won't let us out there, now we have to do our business in the front yard in a tiny little fenced in area. All the neighbor dogs can see us too, including the new dog across the street who is very yappy.

Beau is too old to understand why we hate the vacuum so much

Worst of all this vacuum is really good at picking up fur, so it makes it even harder for us to keep a thick sheet of hound fur on all the furniture and rugs. We try and do our best but it just isn't enough. Watch the video below and you will see what we have to put up with.

Urg

See now we will have to start all over again from square one. I let Rosco take the first crack at it, I really need a good long while to get all riled up and do my rolling and growling.

Take it away, Rosco

Famous Basset Hound Friday # 48

I must apologize for being late with our Famous Basset Hound Friday entry. I was all ready to blog yesterday and then mama sprang the horrible trap on us: bath day. And even worse, she cut our toes off too! It was just awful. We tried to run away and hide (except Beau, he liked his bath and was strutting his stuff afterwards), but mama closed all the doors and gates.

Then, to make matters worse, we heard that Nibbler was up to his usual tricks and we had to put a stop to it, stumpy toes and all.

Take that you mean kitty

By the end of the day I was just too exhausted to blog. But today is a new day! We got daddy up promptly at 5:15 AM to begin our routine! Going outside and peeing! Coming in and laying on the couch! Sleeping while daddy watches cartoons! Whining at him until he got up and fed us! Although today mama fed us instead because she was tired of daddy's laziness. And then we played some! And now we are blogging!

So... this week's famous hound has inspired her own cartoon! Her name is Gabriel, and she is the animation partner for Mamoru Oshii. Mr. Oshii is an anime artist, and he draws important cartoons about basset hounds. His most famous one is called 'Ghost in the Shell', about a basset hound who finds itself stuck in a post-apocalyptic world filled with cyborgs. Although technically it is a cloned basset hound, but we feel that is way too complicated and really, cloned or not, a hound is a hound.

We hounds are all business

Gabriel the hound in the anime cartoon is named after the real Gabriel, who is the inspiration for the clone Gabriel in the cartoon. Mr. Oshii is definitely a dog person, he likes to play with his hounds, which is probably the best way a person can spend their free time (besides feeding their hounds of course).

Not the best picture but a cool hound and her cool person

So Gabriel is our newest famous hound!

I am not speaking to daddy right now

He is a big jerk. First he made me throw up the other night. I didn't know people could do this to us hounds but he found a way.

There I was, innocently chewing on a tasty treat he left laying by the fireplace. It smelled nice and smoky and yummy, and it was soft and chewy and it had a little plastic wrapper around it. The perfect thing for a hound girl to munch on at the end of her day.

Well when daddy saw I was eating that he went all nuclear on me. He yelled and told me no and said I was a bad girl. He made me go to my crate and I heard him cleaning it up. Then he and mama made me get in the bathtub. Bathtub means bathtime - but I was already pretty clean and they didn't turn the water on, so I was a little confused. Well daddy held my mouth open while he made mama put this stuff down my throat.

Now I know mama was doing this against her will because she wouldn't do that sort of thing to me. Daddy is the one who administers medicine and gross stuff. I wondered what the medicine was supposed to do because I wasn't sick or anything. He left and mama watched me and made me stay in the tub. I was pretty confused at this point and then it hit me - daddy had poisoned me! My stomach started gurgling and I started to feel sick. A few minutes later I was retching and throwing up my dinner, right there in the bathtub! Mama had to leave the room and daddy came in and watched me get sick.

THEN it was bathtime. He scrubbed me top to bottom and told me this wouldn't have happened if I didn't try to eat fireplace starter logs. Well, don't leave good-smelling treats like that laying out if you don't want me to eat it!

I was ready to forgive him this morning, but he got up really early and left us in our crates without giving us breakfast. That is a really good way to get on my bad side. When he finally came home he gave us our food and asked me to lay on the couch with him. I turned my backside to his approaches - I would have rather laid with Nibbler at that point - but eventually the warm blanket was too much to resist, and I felt like maybe I should forgive him. We had a nice nap and he rubbed my ears and my chest and told me I was pretty. Of course I already knew all that but it is nice to hear it, and we had made up.

Then later on he started to move the furniture around. He made me get off the couch and pushed everything into the other room, and made us all get in our crates. I swear he wants us to live there! When we finally got let out the living room wasn't all that livable - nothing to lay on in it anymore, and the only interesting thing left was paint and stuff. But of course us hounds weren't allowed to sniff this, we got herded outside and left there for a long time. When we finally got let back in, straight to our crates we went.

Um where did my couch go?

See what a slave driver he is? We FINALLY got to stay out for awhile, but of course with the furniture like this what good was it? And when we were outside barking at the neighbors he yelled at us to be quiet. We didn't get any scraps at dinner either, just our kibble. It's like daddy WANTS me to be angry with him.

How in the world am I supposed to live like this?

Famous Basset Hound Friday # 30

While I write this blog daddy is watching a very stupid movie called MegaPiranha. In it these giant fish are eating everyone except the main actors (who are terrible by the way). Right now the actor is in a car chase in something called a Kia. It's like a car ride but with squealing tires and Spanish guys. He likes movies like these. They are on a TV station called SyFy. Anyway...

This week's Famous Basset Hound is another blogging basset. Her name is Molly! Molly likes our blog and she recently pointed out that she became famous! So that qualifies her to be a Famous Basset Hound!

Molly's full name is Molly McFreckles. She writes a blog called Molly McFreckles' World where she talks about life with her brother Winston and her mommy and daddy. Just like us they have exciting basset adventures that are occasionally fraught with perils such as baths and vet visits.

Molly (right) and Winston (left)... I think

Molly also has something called Addison's Disease - it means she has to take medicine and go see the vet from time to time. We wish her well on that. But she also has a neighbor that lets her play in her yard, and there are baby bunnies there!

Baby bunnies! I wish I could visit her!

Anyway Molly is our newest famous hound!

Enough with the baths already

There have been two days of terrible occurrences. First we had to have baths last night. I hate baths. The soap gets in my eyes and the houndish smell I work so hard to maintain goes down the drain along with my hair.

What did I do to deserve this?

Then today dad took me to the vet (after leaving us in our crates while he met some company - he said it was to fix the air conditioner but the air felt pretty conditioned to me). The vet picked me up without even asking my permission and told me I was beautiful - well thanks but kindly keep your hands to yourself mister! Then he stuck things in my ears and left. I investigated the room while he was gone, searching for a weapon of some sort or a possible escape route. He hit me in the behind with the door when he came back in and said I had infected ears. Then he washed my ears out. I hate that even more than baths, all that squishy stuff in my ears and the wetness and everything. To top it off he squirted medicine in them and told dad he would have to do that twice a day for the next week.

The next vet that touches me is going to get a very stern staredown.

Stupid TV Commercial Sunday # 25

Let me start off by telling you this: I am in a bad mood. All of us cats got stuffed into a dog crate today and carted off in the car. The dogs were in there too and crybaby Nibbler was freaking out whenever they would look at him. He got so worked up that he puked all over and when there are 5 cats in one crate and one of them pukes it's bathtime for everyone.

Stupid Nibbler. Stupid crate. Stupid car, I don't care if it is all for a good reason.

Speaking of stupidity...

Please... stop singing.

Operation: Litterbox

Most of the rooms in this house we dogs own. I don't care what the cats tell you about Cathalla or anything else. When the gates come down the hounds come running. But there is one room that we never get to go in, and we get yelled at the moment we set one of our feet in the doorframe.

The laundry room.

Here is the laundry room

The laundry room is where mom and dad clean their clothes. While I do enjoy a good game of throw-the-sock, that alone does not make the laundry room so enticing. There are noisy machines in there that wash and dry clothes, and the floor is concrete (like our old basement, which was also a room where no dog was allowed to go). This is also the room with the cat food (up on a table, so we hounds cannot reach it).

Dumb ole cats

So this room has several mysteries. But it is well-guarded and difficult to enter, and most of what is in there is even harder to inspect because of how short a time you get to wander around. So we have limited opportunities even if we penetrate the laundry room's main defense - a tied off door.

Basset scientists are hard at work to unravel this mystery

But the biggest reason we are interested in that room is this: litter boxes. The litter box is a mystery to me. Cats do their outside business there, even though they get to go outside every once in awhile. Now don't get me wrong - we certainly don't want the cats coming out and pooping in our yard, chasing our birds and squirrels, or meowing at our neighbors (we have our neighbors trained to run at the sound of our howls - they would probably think we had been put in our place by those dumb cats). I just wonder why they have to go in a box. Then mom yells at dad because he has forgotten to clean the boxes (there are 7 of them, including one that runs by itself sometimes).

A robot that cleans poop - cats are so spoiled and lazy

I have made a few clandestine entries into the laundry room when the tied-off door is open (I used to be small enough to squeeze through until I was caught and then the tied-off door got tighter). I took some basset samples from the litter boxes for the basset scientists but I got caught by mom and dad. Then they scruffed me and yelled at me and brushed my teeth. They said I was a bad dog. I tried explaining to them that it was all in the name of science but they were pretty ticked off. So I laid low in my crate and analyzed my basset spy techniques to improve my chances of getting in and out of the laundry room without being detected. They had soon forgotten about it and I got some belly rubs.

The laundry room is still a mystery, but we are learning things slowly. There is something called a 'water heater' in there - I think it has to do with when they give us baths. Re-entry has gotten pretty hard though - now they have the new gate that we can't knock over PLUS the tied-off door.

All this to guard a bunch of cat poop?

But I'll keep trying. After my nap.

Little brat

So I see Nibbler has decided to share details of my personal life with the world at large.

He is a little brat. Also a hypocrite. See the video below, and keep in mind that he needs to have these baths regularly because he is too fat to bathe himself.

I have many grandmas

Wow who had any idea there could be so many grandmas? I got to meet my one grandma a few months ago in Michigan, and then I got to meet my other grandma last month at the lake. But here is where it gets slightly confusing - there is a THIRD grandma, and they say she is a great one, who lives at the lake. So that is two regular grandmas and one great-grandma. It sounds confusing but I have a little trick to help me remember:

The regular grandmas both have many cats, and each of them brings dogs with them too (Maggie and Max for the one grandma; Chopper and Aksel for the other). But the great-grandma doesn't have any dogs - I think she has a cat but I can't tell. Most of her house is off-limits so a cat could be hiding (and you know how dishonest cats are).

The best way to tell the difference is whether there is a big lake or not. The great-grandma's house has a huge lake. I am not a fan of lakes, they remind me too much of baths. Some of the dogs in our family like lakes though - I think probably because they have been dropped on their heads or something.

As you can see I am pretty nervous here.

Anyway, we went to the great-grandma's house not too long ago, and we all wore our swimming gear. I don't know why they make us wear that stuff, none of us like to swim and all we do is run around and look stupid in it.

These are not very flattering

Plus the lake is way too rough for swimming anyway:

No thank you! Even the gentle stream at the other grandma's is too wet for me (but not for Griff, that big dummy):

Plus our puppy cousins make me nervous - they are much bigger than me and one of them (Aksel) gets really overprotective and bitey. He bit my ear pretty hard last time! I barked in his face and Chopper's too and I showed them who was boss!

They're afraid of the gates, the big babies!

Anyway, despite all that I like my great-grandparent's place. Great-grandpa knows how to talk to a lady hound and he gives me lots of love and attention. And there are good puppy treats so you know it is a good house!

Breezy's vacation

Well I see Rosco and Layla have blogged about how great their vacation was. I'm glad someone had a good time the entire weekend. Let me paint you a picture that is not quite so rosy. I was really looking forward to going to Grandma's but a few key events kind of ruined it for me. Don't get me wrong I had a good time, and I got to wander around off-leash and explore (that was new). I also went on a really long car ride, which turned out to be OK.

Hmmm this is pretty interesting...

But I just wasn't feeling myself. My insides have been upset lately and I feel like I want to take really good care of my crate and my bed. I also had to try and put up with Maggie, and she can be a real pain. She wanted me to be submissive to her - me! I wasn't going for it and I barked and howled in her face when she tried it. Maggie and I didn't get along at all. She's lucky mom and dad kept stopping me from biting her.

And then there was Max. Rosco thinks Max is the greatest dog there is but let me tell you, Max is a little weasel sometimes. He tried to get fresh with me! With me! He wanted to play the puppy-making game (I don't know why - he has been fixed, even if he tries to play it off like he isn't. A girl can tell these things). I wanted no part of it, and you can believe I barked at him to make sure he knew it.

But these things get you in trouble when you live with parents like mine. I was feeling pretty down until the kids came to visit. I really like kids! Especially little girls! And the one little girl kept dropping food so that was great!

Then the other little girl and I went into the camper and we played basset princess and her personal chauffeur! I was in pretty high spirits that day! I decided I would take a walk with the other dogs and have myself a good mud bath!

My chariot

Aren't we so regal?

That was the decision that turned my good spirits around! Because I was muddy I had to take a bath that night. Baths are the worst. Just look at my poor bedraggled expression.

Well that one event was enough to put me back in a bad mood. I was defensive and angry again and they made me ride home in my crate! I tell you it didn't help me feel any better. Hopefully the next time we go to Grandma's I can enjoy myself without all the hassle of amorous little puppies and stupid baths!