Aliens!

Recently the cat has been allowed outside the house.  I find this to be terribly unfair.  He gets to poop in litter boxes and probably gets to roll in it too.  If I so much as look in the direction of the litter boxes when we go through the mud room on our way outside, I get hollered at and my basset derriere gets a gentle nudge from daddy's boot.  He also gets to poop outside.  I am only allowed to poop outside.  And he is such a fast little twerp!  I try to chase him and keep him from getting away but he can squeeze through small spaces because he is a cat, and cats are all little and weak and stupid.

But that is not the point of this blog.  Today we saw aliens!  They were up on the hill, where we are not allowed to go.  And they are weird-looking aliens too, not the big-headed kind.  These aliens walked on four feet and one of them had horns on its head.  I watched them at first and then when I saw them move towards the house I started barking like crazy to make sure mama and daddy could come out and fight them.  Or maybe sacrifice a cat or two in hopes they (the aliens) would go away (and take the cats with them).

Well daddy eventually came out, and here is what happened...

So I think daddy has been brainwashed by the aliens.  Who calls aliens 'dear'?  They have come to eat our brains or something they are not dears!  And obviously they are worth points but I think a weird alien with horns is worth more than 4 points!  I will have to watch him closely to make sure he doesn't try and make me into an alien hound slave.

Now he has a puffy face

Poor Beau, he cannot catch a break. I feel sorry for him because he has had to go to the vet's for the last 3 weeks in a row, and he missed out on the dog park the other day. His face is all puffy and his eyes are leaking goo. Mama took him to the vet with Oliver and he has to take medicine and have stuff put in his eyes. I hope he feels better, because I am tired of smelling vet on him.

That looks uncomfortable

I have a sick nose

Boy we have been really bad about blogging lately. Daddy has been so busy working we haven't been able to even wake him up to do our blogging for us. He falls asleep on the couch and he is so easy to lay on at that point that it just doesn't get done. It's good for the basset soul but bad for the basset blog.

We have had to get mama to blog a few times, as you saw the other day when she helped Beau write about what a handsome hound I am. Well today daddy took me to the vet. I swear I think he wants me not to like him anymore. He also took Oliver, and let me just say that cat is really bizarre.

Look at how calm he is... doesn't he realize we are at the vet's?

When he poops lately he screams a lot. We try and go in and investigate but of course there is a gate in the way. Well Oliver had to get a shot today and I had to go along because apparently I have an infected hound nose.

It doesn't look infected to me... I think I will survive...

Well of course I hate the vet's. I was very watchful of any doors because that is where the vets surprise you.

I'm ready this time

But this vet wasn't so bad, he talked all nice to me and gave me a treat and rubbed me. Then he stuck a piece of glass against my nose and left. When he came back he said I had white blood cells and bacteria in my nose. I had no idea! So now I am a little worried. Daddy gave me some medicine and rubbed this weird creamy stuff on my nose. Hopefully I won't have to wear a cone of shame like Beau did for so long. Sorry about not blogging for so long. Also sorry it isn't a Famous Basset Hound Friday. We will try and do a better job of hounding daddy in the future.

That old dog is back

As you probably know, we recently brought in another dog named Beauregard. At first I thought 'great, another dog to compete with for food and attention and sleeping space. Just what we need around here.' They have already taken over the couch for the most part. And they get most of the attention nowadays. I mean as cats we generally could care less what people want, and only bother with their affections when it suits us, but it would still be nice not to have to jockey for position.

But then when he arrived I realized he was a pretty pathetic sight. He had huge tumors all over him and he could hardly walk and there was no way he was going to be getting up on the couch. And he is so old! Older than Bunsen even, who before Beau was the oldest thing in the house.

And to top it off he came back from the vet's today. They removed some of his tumors and he is even more pathetic than before. He is half-shaven and... well here just look at the picture.

I kind of feel sorry for the old guy now

I hope he feels better soon. I also hope with that big tumor gone that he won't be able to jump on the couch.

Weird Word Wednesday # 20

I have recovered enough from the horror of being forced to travel in close proximity with Nibbler (who gets sick and vomits) and Oliver (who has intestinal problems) to update our Weird Word entries. Mom and dad have argued about this stupid phrase several times, and each of their insistence that they are correct has driven me to resolve it.

The word is "catty corner", or maybe "kitty corner", or perhaps even "caddy corner", depending on whose definition you use.

Mom favors "kitty corner", which I don't like. Why would you want us in the corner?

Unacceptable

Dad favors "caddy corner", which is really no better because it is just stupid.

Acceptable, but still stupid

What they are both trying to say is "two things diagonally across from each other". While that is the lengthiest way to get your point across at least you don't sound like an oaf while doing it.

The perils of cathood

I haven't written on this blog in quite awhile. The last time I did I was extolling the virtues of Cathalla. I haven't been able to take advantage of it for some time. It's been really hot lately, we knocked our water dish over the other night and I was pretty sure mom was going to kill Bunsen for it, the sink broke and we weren't allowed to explore the cabinets beneath, the dogs (especially stupid Breezy) keep chasing us, our dog cousins (Chopper and Aksel) chased us (and they are a lot bigger than the dogs that live here), we aren't allowed to go outside, and worst of all, I have cat bowel problems.

Don't laugh.

Cat bowel problems are not fun. I end up running for the litter box and sitting there for a long time before the problem goes away. I also end up having to take tons of different pills and medicine and eat all kinds of different food. It hasn't quite progressed to a vet visit yet - they took me there once and the vet told us to try different food and medicine - but I am getting the feeling it will turn into another vet visit soon. So I have been hiding beneath the bed a lot lately.

Kind of a boring post, I know. I will try and escape into the yard again and find an adventure for my next post!

Cathalla

You have probably heard of Valhalla. It is the Norse mythology's Hall of the Dead, where slain heroes fight battles endlessly, and the vanquished rise again and again to fight. We have something similar here. We call it 'The Hallway Upstairs', or simply, 'Cathalla'.

Lord Nibbler inspecting the battlefield, and the remains of the vanquished

We fight there nightly. We have that prerogative as Cat Overlords.

That's me on the right. The awesome one.

I'm the undisputed King of Cathalla, and have reigned supreme every night since we left the Place of Stone Basement to come to this Place of Carpet Basement. Every night I challenge a cat of my choosing, and growl at them fiercely until they make the first move. In this fashion I am able to determine their weakness, and allow them to get a few attacks in before I exploit it and send them running. My shrieks of fury and anger are enough to frighten them, and my razor claws and viselike bite really drive the point home.

However the shrieks can't be too loud or they wake dad up, and he thunders upstairs like a demon and hurls decorative pillows in my general direction. It also does not pay to try and do the Cathalla thing in the bedroom, as it typically gets you launched out into the hallway.

All the cats in the house fear me, and a couple of the dogs do, too. They're not as dumb as they look.

King of Cathalla forever!

Been awhile

The new dog and I have become friends. She's really not so bad. Nibbler makes a big deal out of it because he's afraid of the dogs, but I have discovered a secret. She is just the right height to walk under and have her head rub along your back, so she can pet you. The other two are a little short for that, but they are still fun to swat at when they come near.

My life has been up and down lately. The ups have mostly won out over the downs, although I had to go to the vet to get my irritable stomach looked at. Turns out I don't have any parasites, but I get a bunch of medicine in the meantime. Every morning they squirt that foul stuff down my throat. They even told mom that it might make me drool. Great, I thought. Terrible taste and drooly side effect.

But on the upside I got to help dad make the bed the other day. It's even better than attack of the shirt, because you can run and play under the billowing sheets and swat at fingers and toes.

See how much help I am?

First post

Welcome to Jowls of Fury!  This is the first post in what will be a long, periodocally updated online journal about my life with my dogs, cats, and wife.  Right now the plan is to post once a week, or approximately whenever the heck I can squeeze it into my busy schedule.

The first thing to do is introduce the recurring members of this blog.  They are, in no particular order:

Daddy

What a party animal!

This is me, the usual author of this blog.  I'm a 30-something guy with lots of animals.  I'm finishing up school right now (studying zoology), I really like the outdoors and photography, and I probably should've been a humor columnist.  I am the guy in charge of all the domestic stuff around the house, including feeding hounds and cats and scooping poop from litter boxes or backyards.

 Mama  



Mama with her new friend


This is Mama, the matriarch of the pack.  The hounds and
cats constantly vie for her lap, usually peeling out on Daddy's lap in the process.  At the moment she earns all the bacon, something Daddy hopes to change in the near future.  Mama is very crafty and knows about all sorts of things that Daddy would otherwise screw up royally if left to his own devices.  She is also the resident butterfly ninja.



  Oliver

I'm out of food.

Oliver is the resident wild cat.  He came from a farm where Daddy was doing field work in 2004 and is the first rescue Mama and Daddy took in together.  His cat senses were tingling the moment Daddy set foot in front of his farmhouse, sensing a sucker in the vicinity.  Within a few weeks he had a cushy new home and two other cat siblings to play with.  Oliver is a lot of fun but has recently taken to yowling very loudly every few minutes, which has caused more than a few pillows to be thrown in his direction.  He also doesn't travel in cars very well... more on that later.

Beaker

This new cat bed is great!

Beaker is our part-siamese cat.  Being the only female cat in the house, her personality is no doubt influenced by an overabundance of testosterone.  She often gets on people's nerves but is basically a sweet cat, if not a bit vocal.  Beaker and her brother Bunsen were two rescue cats that Mama had before she met, and foolishly married, Daddy.

 Korbin

Hey can I go outside?

Korbin, aka Korbinator, is our most recent rescue cat.  He is part/all Maine Coon, and he had a brother named Buddy who was also a long-haired cat, but had a tabby coloration.  Unfortunately we already had a ton of cats and one more would've been too much.  Korbin is a really sweet cat and he loves attention.  He's the only one left with front claws, but he hardly ever uses them (except during bath time!).

Layla

Shhh....  beauty rest.

Layla, aka Pretty Girl, is our first rescue dog.  She is all basset and all diva.  Supposedly she lived outside for most of her life before we adopted her, but if that is the case there is an innate genetic component in bassets that allows for maximization of couch sleeping potential, because she was in the house for about five minutes before she took her place on the long throne next to Mama.  She and Rosco love each other to bits, and the volume has only gone up since she got here.

 Bunsen

This is a weird cat bed...

Bunsen, aka Mr. B, is the resident love master.  Almost every cat has been the target of his, um, affection, usually with the same end results.  Car rides seem to bring this out in him a bit more, possibly because his victims have been drugged.  Despite these predatory habits, Mr. B is a good cat who loves to meet and greet new people into the house.  He also has taken to pawing at the covers when Daddy is under them to be let in so he can sleep next to somebody warm.

 Nibbler

I am not pleased with you.

Nibbler, aka Nibs or Mr. Nibs, is another rescue cat.  Hailing from Louisiana, he has a misshappen back left foot that he absolutely hates you to touch.  Nibs is otherwise very loving and affectionate, especially towards Mama.  Lately he has taken to cheating on her with anyone who happens to stay over in our spare bedroom, probably because the dogs sleep in his room.  Nibs hates the dogs with a passion, especially Layla.  He is also the only cat in our house who will fetch, with shakey mousies or rattley balls being his favorite toys.  Unfortunately, the presence of the dogs has greatly decreased his presence.
Rosco

I love you man.

Rosco, aka Puppyman, is my first dog.  Although not a rescue, he is the best pup anyone could ask for.  Outgoing and personable, he is still very much a puppy and loves to run and play.  Rosco knows many tricks and loves to be cuddled and loved on.  He and Layla are the resident bunny and squirrel chasers.







So, those are the usual suspects.  There are some others who will make appearances later on in the blog (like puppy cousins and cat cousins), as well as some memorial blog posts for pets who have moved on (like Spanky, Whittie, and probably some others I've forgotten).  But since it's already been an hour I think I'm going to end it here.  Stay tuned for more!