Just too tired!

We are officially just too tired to post.  It was a long day filled with great grandma's house, chasing kitties and car rides.  We shall return after some much needed beauty rest.

I have a sick nose

Boy we have been really bad about blogging lately. Daddy has been so busy working we haven't been able to even wake him up to do our blogging for us. He falls asleep on the couch and he is so easy to lay on at that point that it just doesn't get done. It's good for the basset soul but bad for the basset blog.

We have had to get mama to blog a few times, as you saw the other day when she helped Beau write about what a handsome hound I am. Well today daddy took me to the vet. I swear I think he wants me not to like him anymore. He also took Oliver, and let me just say that cat is really bizarre.

Look at how calm he is... doesn't he realize we are at the vet's?

When he poops lately he screams a lot. We try and go in and investigate but of course there is a gate in the way. Well Oliver had to get a shot today and I had to go along because apparently I have an infected hound nose.

It doesn't look infected to me... I think I will survive...

Well of course I hate the vet's. I was very watchful of any doors because that is where the vets surprise you.

I'm ready this time

But this vet wasn't so bad, he talked all nice to me and gave me a treat and rubbed me. Then he stuck a piece of glass against my nose and left. When he came back he said I had white blood cells and bacteria in my nose. I had no idea! So now I am a little worried. Daddy gave me some medicine and rubbed this weird creamy stuff on my nose. Hopefully I won't have to wear a cone of shame like Beau did for so long. Sorry about not blogging for so long. Also sorry it isn't a Famous Basset Hound Friday. We will try and do a better job of hounding daddy in the future.

Where we've been

I'll bet you, as a regular reader of Jowls of Fury, have been wondering where we have been for the last few days, right? Well! Wonder no more! We are at one of our grandma's house, and she doesn't have very fast internet. That's why this message will be short and sweet. We just wanted to let everyone know that we are up here for Christmas and we will be back to faster internet by the end of the year. Until then everyone have a good holiday, take lots of naps, and watch out for Christmas Pig Monsters.

The best place to sleep

As a hound, you have several options on where you choose to sleep. Sometimes you have to make the best of a non-ideal situation. While car rides are a lot of fun, the long ones that tend to require nap time usually involve lots of luggage. This does not make for a comfortable hound opportunity, but you can sometimes take advantage of properly placed luggage.

Laptop bags have nothing to do with laps as far as I can tell

The bed is a good place to nap, but usually you have to compete with a few other hounds for a good spot. Sometimes this is nice, especially on cold nights when you need to be warm, but other times it is just a bit too crowded. Now if you are a mighty hound like me you can just shove them out of the way, but if you are a feather duster like Rosco you are out of luck.

Three is a crowd

But the truly best place to sleep is next to mama. Daddy is OK but he is not as cuddly as mama, and he gets all twitchy when he starts to fall asleep. Sometimes I wonder if he is dreaming about bunnies or squirrels like I sometimes do. But it is annoying to be in a restful hound sleep and get jerked awake by him. Mama just sleeps soundly, like us hounds.

Yes, this is the best place to sleep

Christmas costumes and monster!

Rosco and Layla have been telling me about a Christmas tradition that we all have to go through each year. We have to wear costumes. Rosco even had to wear a beard and a hat once. I don't know how he got through it but he did. Well, yesterday was the day. I wasn't looking forward to it but at least we got a treat out of the deal.

It was utter chaos

As hectic as things were I have to say that I think I looked pretty good in my pretty Mrs. Santa Paws outfit. But I always do cut a stunning figure.

Mrs. Paws has nothing on me

Rosco and Laya were less well behaved with their costumes. They kept trying to take their hats off. Mama and daddy didn't even try the beard this year and I don't blame them - Rosco is a little brat and a beard on a lady hound is just ridiculous. Layla always tries to bite the hat band anyway.

Rosco never keeps his hat on

The beard would've gotten in the way of her antler hat

So the costume party ended (finally!) and we thought the perils of Christmastime were over. But we were wrong. Mama brought this big baggy thing out from the laundry room. It smelled like the outside and we were of course duty-bound as hounds to investigate it. She hollered at us and told us to quit walking on the pig. Well it didn't look like any pig to me! She taped it here and taped it there. Then she plugged it in (an electric pig at that!) and it started to inflate.

You might call this a pig but it is clearly a monster

Once he started to inflate mama was very happy. I am a bit suspicious about her now, I think she may have been brainwashed. Christmas Pig Monster was sitting there looking very smug in my living room and his fan was making enough noise that I couldn't have napped even if there weren't a monster sitting next to my TV. I began to formulate a plan but then mama's brainwashing went away and she told daddy to take the pig (AKA Christmas Pig Monster) outside. OK good, I thought, now I have a bit more time and perhaps I can kill him in the yard the next time I got out. Well, daddy took care of it for me. Christmas Pig Monster went in the front yard. He only comes alive when it is night time, and really that isn't such a bad deal because he will keep other dogs and cats out of our yard. Just so he doesn't come back in my living room again we have an uneasy truce.

He doesn't look too good right now

I vanquished him and saved Christmastime! No more photos please.

Famous Basset Hound Friday # 37

Man what a busy week. Well for mom and dad that is. We mostly slept in our crates, chased each other around the house, barked at the neighbors and their dumb cat, and ate our food. But dad and mom are busy working. Dad keeps getting ready for waterfowl season, whatever that is. It means he is going to be getting up really early for the next 60 days to take care of duck hunters.

Anyway. We got some rain this week and that was OK - it made the yard all muddy which was fun to dig in, but that only got us in trouble. We also got in trouble for doing a little counter reconnaissance while mama made cookies today. It's really unfair to make such good-smelling stuff and then not let us hounds sniff it and eat some. But as soon as I came into the kitchen I got hollered at and sent to the other room. I even got sent to my crate today for investigating the litter box room and collecting more samples!

Oh well. At least I have Famous Basset Hound Friday today! And this week's hound is a newcomer on the famous hound scene! We found out about her while Google searching each of our names to see if there were famous hounds with our names, and sure enough we found one. This week's famous hound is "Layla Jane Basset Extraordinaire".

The hound of the moment

Layla Jane is a hound who promotes spay and neuter awareness. This is important because it keeps extra basset puppies from being born and not having good homes. Layla Jane is also a hound who likes to eat bugs like our own Layla. We even call our Layla 'Layla Jane' sometimes, but usually when she is misbehaving or trying to eat cookies from the counter. Layla Jane Basset Extraordinaire is also sassy like our Layla Jane - her latest Facebook post says 'Basset hounds don't have to squat when they pee... bonus!'. Well it's true, but I like to squat when I pee so I can take off like a rocket when I'm done. That's just how I roll.

I should also mention that when you search for 'Rosco' you get TONS of famous basset pictures, but it's actually Flash. Rosco was the human's name. Flash is the important one. There is another famous Rosco but he spells his name differently than me. But that is for another week.

So that's our latest famous hound!

The terrible tri-color twosome

Rosco and Breezy have really been pains lately. Mama has had to yell at them several times for being bad dogs. Especially when she is cooking and Rosco gets in the way. I learned a long time ago that a lady needs her space when she is in her special place. That's why I don't like to sleep on the couch when lots of other dogs come piling up there with me - I need my beauty rest. Well, mama's special place is in the kitchen. I am also more likely to get samples of what she is cooking if I stay on her good side. Her peanut butter cookies are delicious!

Rosco is just a misbehaving child. He likes to shred things like tissue paper, and he is always trying to get into things he shouldn't like litter boxes and trash cans. He also likes to play toss the sock, and he gets hollered at all the time for stealing dirty laundry and running around the house with it. Lately he has been unrolling toilet paper. Me, I like to lay on the couch and snooze. The worst thing I ever do is chase cats and that's only because they deserve it.

Breezy is a high-strung basset. I have tried to teach her how to be cool and snoozy like me but she would rather gallop around the house like a newborn horse and howl at the top of her lungs. She also gets really bossy when I feel like play-fighting and barks in my face. I try and knock her over but with those long legs it can be difficult sometimes. She is also very demanding of mama and daddy when it comes to snuggling and it is just not worth it to try and outcompete her to get some belly rubs.

Neither one of them are any good at walks. Rosco just runs too fast while Breezy usually stops and gets drug behind us. I'm the only one who walks at the right pace. And playtime is the worst - I can't win because they gang up on me. Breezy attacks from above and Rosco tries to bite my legs. Tonight I was playing with my squeaky pig and daddy threw it for me. Breezy tried to steal it but I beat her to the toy. Then daddy chased me and told me to give him that squeaky pig, and I made him run all over the house. Finally I was laying on the couch grooming Mr. Squeaky Pig and then Breezy stole my toy!

I need new siblings.

Hound Dog Time

As you may have noticed we missed Famous Basset Hound Friday yesterday. I would like to apologize to all my blogging basset buddies who no doubt lost precious sleeping time as they fretted over how they were going to get through their Friday without learning about another famous hound.

But I have a good excuse. I have decided to start practicing for my singing career. Mama inspired me to write this song, because our parents don't live on the same clock as we do. We have to wake them up every morning to go outside and go potty, and it seems like whenever we really want to take a nap they want us to wake up to do something. We're never on the same page when it comes to baths. Clearly there is a lot of conflict here, and conflict is a great breeding ground for excellent music.

It is a well-known fact that hounds are among the most gifted dogs when it comes to music. So all we really had to do was write a song and it would immediately become a big hit.

So Layla and Breezy and I were laying around the other day when it hit us - we could write a song that underscored the differences between people and basset hound schedules. After a lot of intensive napping and brainstorming we came up with a pretty good set of lyrics. We also had a great tune picked out but it turns out some guy had already stolen it from us. Our basset law firm will be in contact with him shortly but in the meantime we present to you the soon-to-be famous song "Hound Dog Time".

Hound Dog Time

by

Rosco, Layla, and Breezy

The Hounds of Jowls of Fury

We wake up in the morning

Daddy's still in bed snoring

Got to wake him up right

But if we jump up there

And step on mama's hair

She wakes up in a terrible fright

Livin' on hound dog time

Livin' on hound dog time

Mama's not a morning person

So we have to make certain

Livin' on hound dog time

So we stay on the floor

And whine a little more

We try to remember our place

We look over at the door

And dream about the score

Then lick daddy on his face

Livin' on hound dog time

Livin' on hound dog time

It's time to feed your hounds

Get out of bed right now

You're livin' on hound dog time

Then they go to work on time

And we get left behind

To sleep away the day in our crates

Then dad comes home for lunch

And we get snacks for brunch

Then nap with him while we wait

Livin' on hound dog time

Livin' on hound dog time

We're glad you work for our food

But crating us can be so rude

Livin' on hound dog time

When mama comes home sometimes

We greet her with our smiles

And let her give us belly rubs

We know she likes those times

And we don't have to climb

Into her lap to get our love

Livin' on hound dog time

Livin' on hound dog time

We like mama's lap

A good place to take a nap

Livin' on hound dog time

When we go for a walk

We barely get to talk

Our parents make us move so fast

When we get back in the door

We lay upon the floor

And rest up to the very last

Livin' on hound dog time

Livin' on hound dog time

We're wasting our hound noses

We want to stop and smell the roses

Livin' on hound dog time

But car rides are so fun

We enjoy every one

And stick our heads out in the breeze

We pass by all the crowds

And watch them watch our jowls

And wish they were so cool as we

Livin' on hound dog time

Livin' on hound dog time

Our family basset-mobile

Sits up high on all four wheels

Livin' on hound dog time

So at the end of our long day

We always end it the same way

Resting our weary basset heads

We wait for daddy to say

It's bedtime, head that way

Then we get back up on the bed

Livin' on hound dog time

Livin' on hound dog time

Sometimes life can be tough

And usually it's pretty rough

When your parents don't live on hound dog time!

Famous Basset Hound Friday # 29

Well it is that time of the week again! Time to put your paws up and let them rest after a hard week of napping, chasing cats, and napping some more. Time to enjoy the weekend by napping in the yard and barking at the birds!

Time to enjoy Famous Basset Hound Friday! This week's famous hound is a very important basset spokeslady. Her name is Antigone Puppleupagus, and she is another well-known basset blogger.

This is Antigone

Layla and Breezy both came to us as adopted hounds, but I was bought as a puppy so I don't know how it feels to not ever be loved by someone. Antigone had a pretty hard life at first, she was in a puppy mill. Now at first a puppy mill sounded like a lot of fun - hundreds of bassets making puppies and playing with them - but mom and dad explained to me that no, puppy mills are where hounds get no love and barely any good food. All they do is make puppies that are then sold at pet stores and other places. Antigone has really bad teeth from her puppy mill days.

But then she was adopted! By a nice guy who got her from Guardian Angel Basset Rescue! In case you are new to our blog, GABR are the ones who put on the waddle every year! Oh and we are going again this year! We are making our costumes this weekend! It'll be great!

Anyway Antigone and her person got bored living in Chicago, where it snows all the time. So they got a little crazy and went on a bike ride. Now bike rides do not sound like as much fun as car rides, although any ride sounds good to me. But on a bike ride you have to sit in a weird little buggy thing and your human is outside it on a bike. Humans on bikes make me nervous, especially the noisy ones they call motorcycles - I always growl at them to let them know not to mess with me. So Antigone is not only a pretty basset out for a good cause but she is very brave. I wouldn't trust dad on a bike.

So Antigone and her person rode their bike/buggy thing across the country to spread the word about basset rescues. And it worked! They got on like ten TV and radio shows. I wish we could get on a TV show and spread the word about Jowls of Fury, and how awesome we are (except the cats). But Antigone spread the good word and she eventually ended up in a place called Oregon. Dad says there are different squirrels there (we must go!) and also things called bears. Plus it rains a lot. Better then snow though I guess.

Antigone's blog is really interesting to read, so if you haven't checked it out you should click here. She and her person are writing a book (hmmm there's an idea...) that we will buy the instant it comes out. She is our newest famous hound!

Rosco P. Puppyman - HOSA Dog

In a search across the interwebs the other day, I came across an organization called OSHA. Apparently this is a human organization devoted to workplace safety. After thoroughly reading their website, I decided that we needed a form of this in our home.

Hence I have developed my own workplace safety organization, with a few key improvements. Mine is called the Hound Occupational Safety Administration (HOSA). Adding the word "hound" has been proven by hound scientists to dramatically improve whatever thing you are trying to do.

I quickly decided that the most dangerous place in my house is the kitchen. Mama spends lots of time here (when she's home) and I felt I needed to do my duty to keep her safe. I placed myself in a key location in the kitchen, a couple inches from Mama's feet, and began my safety vigil. But before I did I made sure to have what every hound safety administrator needs: a cool costume.

Here is my cool costume.

At first the time passed slowly and I felt myself becoming very sleepy. I decided using my keen senses of hearing and smell, I could still monitor for safety hazards while taking a nap.

These days you have to multitask.

I was dreaming about bunnies when I heard it! *PLOP* The sirens were going off on red alert as I scrambled to keep Mama safe. I dashed to the scene of the problem, quickly gobbling up the safety hazard. Now keep in mind that to be a true HOSA hound dog, one must eat anything that hits the floor, even broccoli (which my sisters hate). It's a tough job but I am just the hound for the challenge. Could you imagine the dangers a piece of uneaten food could pose to Mama? She could slip and fall and hurt herself so badly she could no longer give belly rubs!

Now as all safety crusaders know, our work often goes unnoticed and unappreciated. I sacrifice many hours of my time keeping my family safe in the kitchen. What may you ask do I get in return? Well in this household, I get my tail stepped on, I get booted in the butt and told to move, and sometimes even gated out of the kitchen. Yesterday, the newest insult was Mama banishing me from the kitchen after "saving" her from some treacherous zucchini that fell on the floor. I rushed over to do my duty, quickly cleaning up the hazard, only to be rewarded by being chased out of the kitchen because Mama stepped in the puddle of slobber I left behind. I tried to explain that Daddy has yet to buy me a wet floor sign so that I can properly address the issue. However this under appreciation for my job will not keep me from my duties!

Well that's enough of my safety report for now. I must hurry back to the kitchen because Mama is cooking again and I heard something hit the floor.

Rosco P. Puppyman, HOSA dog to the rescue!

Stupid TV Commercial Sunday # 21

Humans have weird dietary habits. I was watching them eat cereal the other day and thought to myself 'Why would they go and ruin a perfectly good bowl of milk by putting their kibble in it'? But then they ruin lots of perfectly good things all the time - the perfect catnapping spot (a ruffled up bed sheet becomes a flat, made bedsheet), a set of window blinds that were only recently modified for cat purposes (I knocked those plastic thingies out of place for a REASON) - and so it is no great surprise that they screw their food up too.

But this commercial is supposed to make them want to buy this particular kind of cereal (Cinnamon Toast Crunch).

So the one Cinnamon Toast guy likes to lick the other's skin... then he gets eaten whole. Then (presumably) he gets eaten by a person after he gets a milk bath. So we have this exponential cannibalism going on here. Pure marketing genius, if you happen to be an idiot human. Me, I miss the good old days where cereal was sold by singing cartoon characters.

Myself, I will stick to licking the milk out of the cereal bowls that the humans forget about, and avoid bizarre self-eating cereal.

Weird Word Wednesday # 14

The dogs said we could have our blogging rights back if we agreed to pay homage to them with a few of our newest blogs. I agreed to be the first one since I am the most peaceful and creative cat.

So today's stupid human word is "catnap". The dogs felt that the word should actually be "dognap", or maybe even "bassetnap". It is more fitting since they are so good at napping and obviously better than cats.

There. Penance done. I need to go throw up now.

Famous Basset Hound Friday #22

This week's famous hound is in honor of the 4th of July, in which we celebrate the history and independence of America. And what better dog to represent America than the basset hound? We are as American as the Statue of Liberty, which was a gift from France. Seeing as how hounds can trace their ancestry back to France, we are actually another gift from France. Except instead of being 100 feet tall and made of metal, we are 1 foot tall and made of a mixture of awesomeness and cuddlyness.

Really America, you got the sweet end of the deal with the basset hound gift.

Anyway, our famous hound this week is none other than the Basset President of the United States, as shown in the webcomic DogFort.

Hail to the basset

DogFort is pretty funny! But sometimes they show other presidents instead of the basset president. I think that's because the basset president was during World War II. It makes me glad that I don't have to fight any wars, but can take a nap on my couch and in my bed instead!

So our newest famous hound is a famous basset hound president! Happy 4th of July!

Famous Basset Hound Friday # 17

We've missed Famous Basset Hound Friday enough lately! Enough I say!

Back to the famous hounds!

This week's hound is named Bonnie! She is a real-life hound who has hit it big time. Unfortunately for her hitting it big-time means being part of a soap opera.

If you didn't know, soap operas are these ridiculous, dramatic TV shows where babies get stolen and evil businessmen come back from the dead! It's like Halloween, only without any of the candy or fun!

Also the women and men mount each other all the time. They are worse than us dogs on those shows.

Anyway, Bonnie was on a show called EastEnders, where she played a dog named Chip. I couldn't find a good video of her on that show, but I did find her in a TV commercial selling mattresses. Probably a good fit since we bassets are the go-to authority on sleeping needs.

Bonnie is our newest famous hound!

Famous Frid- er, Sat- what the heck day is it anyway?

Hello faithful readers! Sorry we missed our latest Famous Basset Hound Friday. We had a good excuse. It was mama's birthday, and since she is working now way outside of town, we decided we were going to give her extra attention on her special day!

Of course daddy got her lots of good presents and toys and treats. He even put up a banner that says 'Happy Birthday' and was going to put up a bunch of pretty stuff but mama came home too early. He got her flowers to plant outside and treats to eat (cupcakes, I had those on my birthday and I remember how delicious they were), and he even got her a balloon. Except his balloon said 'Happy Mother's Day', and I guess that was OK since she is a mama to us. But I think he made a mistake.

Now that I think about it mama can be our first every 'Honorary Basset Hound'. She possesses many qualities of basset hounditude. First of all she is very beautiful, and she carries herself with a certain dignity that only us hounds can manage. She likes to be outside like we do and she enjoys smelling things (although they are mostly pretty things like flowers and lotions, but hey smelling still counts). She likes to take naps and she enjoys eating good food. She also has been teaching me to howl and she does a pretty good job herself. And of course she likes to snuggle with us, which is something all hounds enjoy. In fact the only thing she does that is unhoundlike is that she doesn't roll in stuff like we do. But we think that's because she makes herself smell good with lotions and sprays and stuff.

So she is our first Honorary Basset Hound!

Famous Basset Hound Friday #12

Continuing on our tradition of old-tymie famous hounds, we are reaching way back in the pre-history of hound comfort. To the days before air conditioning, Beggin' Strips, and Chicken McNuggets. Back to the days before there was a GABR basset waddle. If you can believe it, back to the days when basset hounds were not given the proper credit as the best dogs on earth.

Shocking!

This bleak world existed until February 27, 1928, when Time Magazine ran their cover with a baby basset hound. We don't know this hound's name, or even if it was a boy or a girl, but they finally delivered the light of jowls, droopy ears, and slinging saliva to a dark world that was desperate for a good hound.

We don't know how you people survived this long without us

This magazine cover was viewed as the event that started the basset hound's meteoric rise to popularity in American culture. The English and the French had already discovered us nearly a century before and were obviously better off for it, while Americans lived in misery and squalor.  Agony ruled the day until we finally came along and gave them the opportunity to feel better by taking care of us (belly rubs are a win-win situation as far as I'm concerned).

If you would like to read the article that accompanied it you can click here. It is supposedly told from the perspective of the basset hound puppy on the cover; I read it and didn't quite get that from the story but it is good nonetheless. The article is about the Westminster Kennel Dog Club Show that was going on at the time. Of course it was written in 1928 and the standards have changed a little bit, but the author got a few things right about basset hounds at least.

So there's your famous hound for the week. I think I'm going to take a nap; there is more snow on the ground today. Also my belly needs to be rubbed and Dad looks like he is feeling lonely so...

SQUIRRELS

Howdy!

Man there are squirrels EVERYWHERE lately! I first learned of squirrels at grandma's house in Michigan! My puppy-cousin Maggie taught me about them. According to Maggie, squirrels are like rats (?) that live in trees. I thought this was patently unfair, because we dogs do not climb trees like rats (?) or birds. Man, birds really tick me off. I think they wait until you get close enough to where you think you might catch them before flying away and laugh at you. Anyway, squirrels. They sometimes come down from the trees, which is fair, because we dogs do not climb trees. If you are fast enough like Maggie (she is like lightning), you can catch them and possibly eat part of them before your human catches you in the act. Well, she didn't say the eating part, but that's what I would do. My other puppy cousin Max is not as fast as Maggie but is faster than me, but he hasn't caught any yet either. So there is hope for a non-bullet demon hound like me.

I am not fast enough, not by a long shot, to catch a squirrel. Which is too bad, because I really want to try and eat one of them, or at least smell them up close. I can smell them where they were in the yard, and I can smell where they have been digging and doing their squirrel stuff, but it's just not the same. I even found a dead one at the park the other day, but dad wouldn't let me roll on it. He never lets me do anything fun.

But back to the squirrels. They're EVERYWHERE lately! There are squirrels in my yard all the time! Even in the front, where I hardly ever get to go. Probably why there are so many of them. There didn't used to be this many. I think it's because I don't get to smell them up close. Dad seems to think it's because it is getting to be late in the year, which is when they are burying nuts and seeds and stuff to eat over the winter, and it only seems like there are more of them. But what does he know, with his soon-to-be-gotted doctorate of philosophy in zoology? I'm the one with the nose here, and it's telling me that the squirrel population in my town is exploding thanks to helicopter dog parents that don't let their hounds catch them, or at least roll on the dead ones. Bunnies, for instance, have dropped dramatically since Layla and I almost caught that one last time.

Well, that's all for now. I'd decree that they let me get those squirrels, but it won't change anything. Think I'll take a nap; there is not doubt I can catch one of those.