The $125 fart

The other night Beau was acting sick.  He gets the lickies like Layla does sometimes.  Haven't heard of them before?  Well the lickies are when Layla gets a gas bubble in her tummy and walks around the house eating dirt and crud until she makes herself throw up.  Me, when I get a gas bubble, I stretch myself out until things work themselves out.  Usually I can do this without bothering anybody but sometimes I can't hide the fact.

What?  What sound?  I didn't hear anything

Well the rest of the dogs in the house are not so subtle.  Layla can't stretch as easily as me because she is so chunky, so she gets the lickies.  Breezy likes to pretend like she isn't gassy but she isn't fooling anyone.  And Beau is just too old to care.  But more often than not his lickies turn into worse tummy trouble because he breathes so hard that he sucks in a lot of air.  If he were to fart it all out at once it would probably blow the house up.  As it is he farts a lot and barks and coughs all at the same time.  It is not very endearing and he stinks the place up. So the other night when he started wheezing and his tummy was gurgling I thought 'Oh great here we go again'.  But instead he kept getting worse and worse until mama and daddy took him to the emergency vet.

I've been a lucky hound so far in life, I have only had to go to the regular vet.  The emergency vet sounds much worse.  We didn't get to ride along so I don't know what sort of torture they put Beau through.  But he came home good as new.  Daddy and mama were complaining that he just farted when they got there and it cost us $125.  I'm not sure if that is just a story they told to keep the rest of us quiet or if Beau really did just have such expensive gas.  But all I can think is how many treats $125 would've bought...  and it all went up in smoke...  sort of.

I think he just farted again

Just too tired!

We are officially just too tired to post.  It was a long day filled with great grandma's house, chasing kitties and car rides.  We shall return after some much needed beauty rest.

My big day

Today was a very eventful day.  Dad took me to the vet's this morning.  I was initially very excited to go for a car ride, but I was less excited when I realized it was to the vet's.  However they didn't hurt me too badly, only drew a little blood and then let me go home.  All the young pups here were very jealous that I got personal time with dad in the car.  We napped in our crates until lunch, when dad came home and let us out.  Normally he gets his lunch and goes back to work, and we only get a few minutes out of our crates to do our business.  But today he stayed home and ate lunch with us, so we got to sprawl on the floor and on the couch before going back in our crates.

Mom beat dad home today and she sat out on the porch with us.  It was a really nice day out, very sunny and warm and breezy.  When dad got home we got to go to the dog park!  I ran around and barked at everyone, and made sure to sniff lots of things.  Many people gave me attention but more than a few of them commented on my health issues.  I always have thought that was rather rude of people, and it makes me self-conscious of my appearance and it really takes away from the enjoyment of the dog park.

Later, mom and dad told me that the blood draw this morning turned out OK.  The vet said I am healthy enough to go through surgery.  They said that tomorrow the vet is going to remove some of my lumps and make me more comfortable.  Dad said he will put me to sleep (not that bad kind of putting to sleep - I made sure I understood dad very clearly and that the vet was not going to put me to sleep permanently, I still have a lot of bassety things I want to do and I am starting to like my new home).  Once I am asleep (just temporarily) they will do surgery on me.  I will wake up with a few stitches but lots less tumors, and I will go through a recovery period.  Then I should be good as new.  Mom says I will be like a 'new man'.  I wonder...

I wonder how many years they will take off me

And lastly, today is National Dog Biscuit Day.  We celebrated by getting a new bag of treats tonight.  I liked mine but to be perfectly honest I am a little worried about tomorrow.  I haven't been to surgery since I was a pup and got fixed.  I am not the young strapping hound I once was, and I hope that everything goes OK.  Especially now that I have a couple of special lady friends - I need to come back in good shape so I can take them out to the dog park and show them a good time.  Their names are Sadie and Maggie, we met at the Cyberhound.  

So if you happen to have a moment to spare please cross your paws for me tomorrow.  I will have dad write about me once I come home.  Thanks to everyone who has supported me and my surgery, we really appreciate it.

So... I will see everyone when I get back.

Long winter's naps are the time to strike

All the dogs have been ranting about how great grandma's house is. What they forget is that us cats were visiting grandma's long before there were any dogs. Well there have always been dogs at grandma's, but those dogs at least stayed at grandma's and did not require us to travel in a small cage with the potential of cat vomit looming for 10 hours.

Yes this dog was big and scary but at least he didn't follow me home

Now at grandma's there is an upstairs, a downstairs, and the floor that the dogs live on. Unfortunately the dog floor is between the two cat floors, so you literally take your life into your own paws to go from the sleeping room to the pooping and eating room. This makes it difficult if you are a true cat hero like me and refuse to fraternize with those god-forsaken dogs like some of my cat siblings.

That is one kid and three dogs too many

What is a cat to do? Well, if you are a smart cat like me, you sleep under the bed or in the basement and wait for the dogs to take a nap. Then you come upstairs and scowl at them very ferociously, and mentally let them know how lucky they are that you are feeling benevolent and have decided to let them live another few hours. Then you hastily make your way up the stairs, squeeze your beautiful cat body through the handrail posts that some idiot built too close together, and scamper beneath the bed to sleep the sleep of the just.

You don't know how lucky you are dog

A late Merry Christmastime

We have been gone for over a week, and it's time to get everyone updated!

We spent a big part of Christmas up at Grandma's house in Michigan. We saw Max and Maggie again, and also Griff and Remy and a new dog named Tinker. Tinker didn't get to run with us because she was tied to her car (her mama is afraid she would be too aggressive but she seemed fine to us - she had a thick fur coat and a really good howl, almost as good as mine). Now as you may recall, I did not always get along with Max and Maggie. However, I decided to try and be a good puppy cousin this year and have a good time. As it turns out they were much better behaved. I only had to howl at Maggie and Max every once in awhile. If Max tried the puppymaking game I threw him to the floor.

This happened a few times. I really am that smokin' hot

Now I still did not like Griff - he is such a big lummox and he runs into everything and his tail is like a furry wrecking ball - so I had to howl in his face quite a few times. Oh well, that's just the way family is at Christmastime.

Imagine this in motion, not a pretty sight

We had a white Christmastime, sort of. We got snow the day before and we had to go out and pee in it. Layla and Rosco thought the snow was great, while Max and Maggie didn't seem to care. I guess they are used to it, but I am a Missouri Hound at heart, and we do not do well with snowpacolypse, or whatever Layla calls it.

So... you're not going to carry me out there?

You expect me to pee WHERE?

But the highlight of the Christmastime was definitely the kids. I met the kids earlier this year - you might remember me and Miss Ashlee played basset princess and her personal chauffeur - and we got to see them again. The kids remind me of the good parts of my old home, the parts where I got to play with kids and chase them and protect them from lummox dogs like Griff. I did my best to protect everyone from everything but I am only one dog, and I can only do so much.

I couldn't protect everyone; Drake was OK but Ashlee got slobbered on

Another upside to the kids is that they are short and they drop food all the time. In fact we got lots of treats at Grandma's, way more than we do at home.

All you had to do was be patient

They didn't always eat everything and a patient dog got the goodies

I was starting to think about staying there forever but then we had to get in the car and go back home. Now the long car rides are not my favorite thing. I don't like to be jostled when I am sleeping and between the bumpy road, the packed car, and the lummox brother and sister I have, I got barely any sleep. Plus the cats - yes all five of them - were in on this car ride and I had a hard time sleeping when they needed to be constantly monitored so they didn't get out of the crate.

These conditions are horrible

That reminds me, Grandma's has other cats too. They are different from our cats and they also need to be closely monitored and possibly chased. This one cat named Maisy looks like a furry Ottoman that ran into a brick wall. She makes lots of noise and I tried to chase her a few times, but dad always stopped me.

If you don't keep them in line they get all Terminator on you...

Anyway... back to the car ride home. As I said, I did not enjoy myself, but mama's car ride home was even worse. She was really sick. Now normally when I get sick the best thing to do is try and have a treat and go lay in my crate for awhile. Well, mama didn't want any treats and the only crate had 5 cats and a litter box in it. So she toughed it out and rode most of the way home sitting up, but finally daddy told her to lay down in the back so she could get comfortable. That opened up the front seat for me, and I got to be the co-pilot!

You're doing great, but keep your eyes on the road

A co-pilot's job is making sure that daddy doesn't speed or hit anything, and not to let any slow dogs pass us by. I did my best but you can only do so much with such poor raw material.

I think that Shar-Pei just flipped us off

Floor it daddy we need to leave him in the dust!

Anyway, once we got home, mama slept for a long time and daddy went to the great-grandma's house for another Christmastime. I stayed home to make sure that darn Christmas Pig Monster stayed in the yard where he belonged. I thought I heard daddy come home later but it was just the neighbor, or possibly another Christmas Pig Monster joining forces. But no. Just the neighbor. Then the next day, daddy came home, and he brought my other grandma and grandpa with him! I was so excited to have someone else to lay upon!

Grandpa's lap is a pretty good place to take a nap

See what a beautiful bunch of ladies we are? And then there's Rosco...

Well we were all having a great Christmastime when who should appear at my doorstep but Evil Uncle Casey. I sprang from my bed to bite him and howl in his face, but his heart grew three sizes that day and he decided to make up for his earlier transgressions by giving us all a treat. I was suspicious at first, like maybe he had poisoned it or something, but Layla and Rosco wolfed theirs down and they didn't die or anything. So I ate mine and decided that Evil Uncle Casey was going to be known from then on as Not Too Bad Uncle Casey (until he screws up again).

So that was my Christmastime! Hope everyone else had a good one.

The best place to sleep

As a hound, you have several options on where you choose to sleep. Sometimes you have to make the best of a non-ideal situation. While car rides are a lot of fun, the long ones that tend to require nap time usually involve lots of luggage. This does not make for a comfortable hound opportunity, but you can sometimes take advantage of properly placed luggage.

Laptop bags have nothing to do with laps as far as I can tell

The bed is a good place to nap, but usually you have to compete with a few other hounds for a good spot. Sometimes this is nice, especially on cold nights when you need to be warm, but other times it is just a bit too crowded. Now if you are a mighty hound like me you can just shove them out of the way, but if you are a feather duster like Rosco you are out of luck.

Three is a crowd

But the truly best place to sleep is next to mama. Daddy is OK but he is not as cuddly as mama, and he gets all twitchy when he starts to fall asleep. Sometimes I wonder if he is dreaming about bunnies or squirrels like I sometimes do. But it is annoying to be in a restful hound sleep and get jerked awake by him. Mama just sleeps soundly, like us hounds.

Yes, this is the best place to sleep

Famous Basset Hound Friday # 40

Wow it is hard to believe that we are getting close to an entire year of famous hounds. It seems like only yesterday we started it off with the original blog about them. How time flies! Time flies when you are having fun! Jowls fly on car rides!

This week's famous hound is a bit of a celebrity. We have actually been in the same place as him too! He visited the GABR waddle the first year we went! His name is Shooter, and he is the personal hound trainer of the Chicago Blackhawk's hockey player Patrick Sharp. Because the waddle is so close to Chicago he came to visit with his mama. I think his mama is a pretty lady, but my heart still belongs to Kirsten Dunst. I hope she doesn't read this and get jealous!

Scooter at the 2010 Waddle

Anyway. Shooter is very important in hockey. He has trained Patrick Sharp on how to stay on his feet and always be a good hockey player. Watch the video below for some training in action.

I think Shooter has done a pretty good job. You have to start training humans early on or they will start to think they run the place. In fact, he did such a good job training Patrick Sharp that they won the Stanley Cup, which evidently is the world's biggest treat container!

Who designed this thing anyway?

So there you have it, a hound who trained a person to run around on the ice with a stick and not get hurt! This is clearly a famous hound!

Handsome fellow. The human isn't too bad either, I guess

I wish I had longer legs

My brother and sister are lucky. Breezy has really long legs and it allows her to jump on things I cannot hope to jump on, like the bed or the armrest on the furniture. This lets her make the most of her snuggle time with mama and daddy. I say this makes her less of a hound but she doesn't seem to care when she is snuggling.

She doesn't seem to care at all...

Rosco isn't any taller than me but he has more of a spring in his step because he is such a lightweight. He is able to stand on his hind legs for longer than me because he is so small. If I try and do that my basset bulk gets to be too much for me. Now don't get me wrong - I have really strong legs - but my beautiful basset frame is so sturdy that it is not made to be held up by only two legs. This allows him to counter surf (which he gets in trouble for) and help be a co-pilot when we go for car rides.

This makes me really jealous.

I just wish I had longer legs so I could get on the bed or be a co-pilot. It is embarrassing to have to get help up on the couch or the bed. I want to do it all by myself. But we all have our crosses to bear, whatever that means.

Evil Uncle Casey

Well what an interesting few days it has been. We got up very early the other day and went for a car ride. It was pretty long, and we went to grandma's house. Only this time it was my other grandma, and her house is different from the grandma's house I am used to. The first thing I smelled when I came in were cats, and they are all hiding upstairs still. I think this is pretty cowardly of them, they should come down and meet their hound cousins. Daddy tells me there are five of them here, just like at our house. But these cats are all like Nibbler, they are afraid of us hounds, even though we just want to chase them and pin them down and sniff and lick them.

Then later that day my puppy cousins Aksel and Chopper came over. Now as you may remember they can be kind of mean to me, but this time after a short round of howling they remembered their manners and were actually trying to play with us. Chopper likes our toy duckies and piggies and we all played chase and fetch and chew-squeak-squeak. Aksel though... well I guess Aksel is afraid of us for some reason because he always growls and shows his teeth when he gets near us. He has to wear a collar that pokes him in the neck to remind him we are peace-loving hounds. We all went on a walk together yesterday and he was fine outside, it's just inside that he is afraid of us. Hopefully he will get over that.

Then last night I met another uncle I have. His name is Casey and he seemed like a nice enough uncle at first. We all had Thanksgiving turkey and pie and other goodies and then we fell asleep on the couch watching football. I got up this morning and did my morning necessaries like eating and pooping, and then wanted to get up on the couch to have my morning nap, when I discovered this.

What is the meaning of this?

... what is going on here? Is this how Uncle Casey treats guests in grandma's house? Rosco, Layla and I got up and gave him the customary basset hound nudge, as if to say "Hey get your lazy butt off the couch, that is our job". He responded by petting us and pushing us down onto the floor. Well! Of all the nerve!

We are guests here, so we tried not to get too upset about this. Rosco tried to jump up on him, thinking perhaps he wanted us to snuggle with him some. We just met and all so I was not too comfortable with the idea. Well as you can see below Rosco didn't get to stay up there very long, he got pushed onto the floor again.

So much for that approach.

So at that point Uncle Casey had to get up and do his morning necessaries, and we took that as our sign that he was up and was going to be doing the important human things that humans normally do. I saw an opportunity to inherit a warm spot and I wasted no time.

There, that's better.

But I was wrong. Uncle Casey came back and kicked us off the couch so he could lay down and play video games. I gave up at that point, and then I remembered something I had been hearing on TV lately - it is Black Friday, the day that evil-hearted people spend the entire day pursuing unimportant things and ignoring the needs of basset hounds. Thus I have seen the true nature of my Evil Uncle Casey.

I guess this is how we treat basset hounds when we are Evil Uncle Casey.

HOSA public service announcement

Greetings readers! Rosco here, bringing you an important holiday update! Now as you know, the holiday of Tanksgiving is coming up. At first I thought 'What a strange holiday - giving each other tanks.' Then daddy explained it was actually a day to be thankful for what we have. It is also a day to eat a ton of food and sleep a lot. Or, as we bassets call it, Wednesday.

But the thankful part got me thinking about what I am thankful for. I am really thankful for my mama, daddy, sisters, cousins, grandmas, toys, treats, food dish, and bed. I am also thankful for the dog park, walks, car rides, and belly rubs. Most of those things are pretty safe but mama and daddy are in constant danger - and that's where the Hound Dog Safety Administration (HOSA) comes in.

Now your humans face multiple threats throughout the day. They include slipping and falling, but a good HOSA dog is ready to thwart these threats at a moment's notice.

Humans trip all the time

They also fall a lot too

Slippery floors are their worst enemy; they never bother to lick up puddles

So the only real option us HOSA dogs have is to be vigilant and be ready to act when necessary. I have included a few updates to these signs below, to give you some ideas on what to watch out for.

Well if you won't clean the puddles up I guess we have to catch you...

Us hounds have sturdy backs to catch your uncoordinated bodies!

Never fear human, HOSA dog is here!

But one of the most important things we can do is help a human who is choking on their food. Now a good HOSA dog needs to understand what basset safety researchers refer to as the 'Houndlich Maneuver'. Without this breakthrough technique, lots of hounds would have no way to save their humans. But with this simple action, we can help our people make it through the traumatic experience that is choking on food. The picture below shows you exactly what to do!

See it is that simple! Go HOSA dogs!

Famous Basset Hound Friday # 36

First of all: Happy Howl-o-ween! Second of all: it's another Famous Basset Hound Friday! Third of all: the weather has gotten colder here, and it's time for my winter coat to grow in!

But enough of the pleasantries. This week's hound is famous for her awesome greeting card, and it is Howl-o-ween themed to boot! She's also famous because she got some peanut butter to get her picture taken. Her name is Stinkerbell and she is only pretending to be a poodle - there are no basset costumes that are that good.

I wish we had peanut butter pumpkins here

Stinkerbell was a winner in Hallmark Greeting Card's contest, along with some other cool dogs and a few rotten cats. You can see her winning page here. We did not even know about this contest, because mom and dad don't ever take us anywhere on car rides anymore. The only reason we found out is because our Aunt Melissa sent us this card along with greetings from our puppy cousins Aksel and Chopper. Also I guess we have cat cousins over there but we have never met them - probably for the best, as most cats are rotten. But Aunt Melissa is very nice and she loves on us and tells us how beautiful we are. Chopper and Aksel are a bit too rough sometimes, but that's only because they are about twice as big as me. If they were my size I would totally kick their butts!

Anyway Stinkerbell is our newest famous hound!

Wow what a weekend

My brother and sister are sleeping on the couch right now. It was an incredible weekend. I thought I had better put something on the blog or else all our readers will get bored with us and leave.

The first thing that happened was that grandma came. I was glad to see she did not bring Max or Maggie because they can be brats. Grandma came home before daddy so she let us out and we got to help her take a nap. Then daddy and mama came home and we all had fun barking and howling. The next day they got my chariot out and we went on a really long car ride. I was not so happy to be stuck in the small car with Rosco and Layla constantly bumping me but we eventually got to a place.

It was a new place and it smelled like lots of dogs. I didn't know what to do - I haven't been around lots of dogs before so it made me nervous. But they set up my chariot finally and we got to sleep in it. Mama and daddy were talking about Guardian Angels and waddling and all sorts of nonsense talk.

I like my chariot.

The next day we went to a park next to the chariot parking place. There were dogs running around off-leash everywhere. This was the part I didn't like because strange dogs would come right up to you and sniff you. I growled a few times but mostly I just stuck close to mom and dad - they were ready to wander off without me! They tried a silly hat on me. Rosco and Layla have regular hats but they wanted me to wear this really goofy one like I was an old lady hound or something.

Not my style.

Then dad set up this really cool umbrella thing and we got to sit under it. A lady with some hounds that they met before they got me came over. The new hounds were named Scarlett and Barnaby - neither of them bothered me so they are OK in my book. Rosco was supposed to run in a race or something but he was too scared by this barking dog. I don't blame him, it was an all-around scary day.

Too many dogs for me!

We slept in the chariot again that night and the next day we had to wear costumes. I felt silly in mine and they wanted me to go up on stage to show it off to all the other hounds but I wasn't having any of it. I put on the basset brakes and made them drag me up there.

I suppose you think we look cute?

Then we went on one of the longest walks I've ever been in. Normally I enjoy my walks but this one was a little weird - there were tons and tons of other bassets in it and all these people lining up the street to watch us walk. I guess they were trying to learn how to walk like a basset, who knows? But there were a few little kids so they got to pet me and love on me. That was a nice part, but I was a bit out of my element.

I like little kids.

Mom and dad kept trying to make me walk but I wouldn't budge. It rained a lot that day too and we were all wet. Then they invited Barnaby and Scarlett into my chariot - I wasn't too crazy about that but what can you do? I was so tired from the walking that I didn't put up much of a fight. Later that day we closed up my chariot and came back home.

Then the next day they took us to a new house! Daddy said it was all ours and we don't have to rent one anymore! And the best part is that there are no stairs and the yard smells a little like squirrels. Rosco and Layla keep telling me about squirrels - little mousy things that live in trees but sometimes come down into yards to be chased. I am looking forward to that!

So that was our long weekend. Sorry we didn't blog more but dad said there was no internet in my chariot. I will have to make him get some.

Hound Dog Time

As you may have noticed we missed Famous Basset Hound Friday yesterday. I would like to apologize to all my blogging basset buddies who no doubt lost precious sleeping time as they fretted over how they were going to get through their Friday without learning about another famous hound.

But I have a good excuse. I have decided to start practicing for my singing career. Mama inspired me to write this song, because our parents don't live on the same clock as we do. We have to wake them up every morning to go outside and go potty, and it seems like whenever we really want to take a nap they want us to wake up to do something. We're never on the same page when it comes to baths. Clearly there is a lot of conflict here, and conflict is a great breeding ground for excellent music.

It is a well-known fact that hounds are among the most gifted dogs when it comes to music. So all we really had to do was write a song and it would immediately become a big hit.

So Layla and Breezy and I were laying around the other day when it hit us - we could write a song that underscored the differences between people and basset hound schedules. After a lot of intensive napping and brainstorming we came up with a pretty good set of lyrics. We also had a great tune picked out but it turns out some guy had already stolen it from us. Our basset law firm will be in contact with him shortly but in the meantime we present to you the soon-to-be famous song "Hound Dog Time".

Hound Dog Time

by

Rosco, Layla, and Breezy

The Hounds of Jowls of Fury

We wake up in the morning

Daddy's still in bed snoring

Got to wake him up right

But if we jump up there

And step on mama's hair

She wakes up in a terrible fright

Livin' on hound dog time

Livin' on hound dog time

Mama's not a morning person

So we have to make certain

Livin' on hound dog time

So we stay on the floor

And whine a little more

We try to remember our place

We look over at the door

And dream about the score

Then lick daddy on his face

Livin' on hound dog time

Livin' on hound dog time

It's time to feed your hounds

Get out of bed right now

You're livin' on hound dog time

Then they go to work on time

And we get left behind

To sleep away the day in our crates

Then dad comes home for lunch

And we get snacks for brunch

Then nap with him while we wait

Livin' on hound dog time

Livin' on hound dog time

We're glad you work for our food

But crating us can be so rude

Livin' on hound dog time

When mama comes home sometimes

We greet her with our smiles

And let her give us belly rubs

We know she likes those times

And we don't have to climb

Into her lap to get our love

Livin' on hound dog time

Livin' on hound dog time

We like mama's lap

A good place to take a nap

Livin' on hound dog time

When we go for a walk

We barely get to talk

Our parents make us move so fast

When we get back in the door

We lay upon the floor

And rest up to the very last

Livin' on hound dog time

Livin' on hound dog time

We're wasting our hound noses

We want to stop and smell the roses

Livin' on hound dog time

But car rides are so fun

We enjoy every one

And stick our heads out in the breeze

We pass by all the crowds

And watch them watch our jowls

And wish they were so cool as we

Livin' on hound dog time

Livin' on hound dog time

Our family basset-mobile

Sits up high on all four wheels

Livin' on hound dog time

So at the end of our long day

We always end it the same way

Resting our weary basset heads

We wait for daddy to say

It's bedtime, head that way

Then we get back up on the bed

Livin' on hound dog time

Livin' on hound dog time

Sometimes life can be tough

And usually it's pretty rough

When your parents don't live on hound dog time!

Famous Basset Hound Friday # 30

While I write this blog daddy is watching a very stupid movie called MegaPiranha. In it these giant fish are eating everyone except the main actors (who are terrible by the way). Right now the actor is in a car chase in something called a Kia. It's like a car ride but with squealing tires and Spanish guys. He likes movies like these. They are on a TV station called SyFy. Anyway...

This week's Famous Basset Hound is another blogging basset. Her name is Molly! Molly likes our blog and she recently pointed out that she became famous! So that qualifies her to be a Famous Basset Hound!

Molly's full name is Molly McFreckles. She writes a blog called Molly McFreckles' World where she talks about life with her brother Winston and her mommy and daddy. Just like us they have exciting basset adventures that are occasionally fraught with perils such as baths and vet visits.

Molly (right) and Winston (left)... I think

Molly also has something called Addison's Disease - it means she has to take medicine and go see the vet from time to time. We wish her well on that. But she also has a neighbor that lets her play in her yard, and there are baby bunnies there!

Baby bunnies! I wish I could visit her!

Anyway Molly is our newest famous hound!