Stupid TV Commercial # 31

Boy, this week's commercial is dumb. It's trying to get you to sign up for Dish TV service. Now at first that sounded alright to me, because dishes sometimes have moist food on them or milk in them. TV and a nice snack would be alright - but I guess it has more to do with the dish they put on top of your house to get the signal for the TV. We have one of those in our yard but we have DirecTV instead. Anyway, this Dish commercial has something to do with cowboys and dumb hats - the link between that and television provider service is lost on me.

Now I am not much for worrying about who provides what in this house, except for litter box service and food detail. But I do have to wonder why a bunch of cowboys with encephalic hats and localized excess testosterone are trying to convince me to get this TV service by using a company that has gone bankrupt. Then again, cowboy hats don't really mean marketing genius...

It is snowing again

We are getting more snow today. I'm not sure if I like the snow or not. Layla tells me that she loves the snow, and goes running around in it when it first starts each winter. She even wrote a survival guide for lots of snow. I found it to be helpful when we got snow the last time (I didn't live here during Snowpacolypse, so all I did before now was stay in the garage), but that snow only lasted a day. Today's snow isn't sticking to the ground very much but who knows how much we might get? I put up a picture that mama took during the last snow of a big tree near where we live - isn't it beautiful?

I saw Joey a couple of times today. When it snows a lot it's ok with me if he comes in and stays warm as long as he doesn't try to take any of my toys or sit in mom or dad's lap, but on non-snowy days I don't understand why they let him in here! I bark at him when I see him at the door, telling him to go away, but they keep on letting him in and feeding him! I'm worried that if they let him in he will eat too much food and then we will get less! I rather enjoy my morning and evening meals and wouldn't take kindly to getting less of them. Plus Joey is sneaky and tries to come in another door when he sees me standing guard - he knows I would kick his butt if he tried to get by me. But then dad (he's kind of a pushover I think) will let him in the back door and put our gate up so we can't stop him.

So I have been working on my knocking-the-gate-over abilities. I'm getting pretty good. Rosco and Layla aren't nearly as good as I am. Plus I can walk on the gate once it falls down no problem; the two of them never thought to try it until they saw me do it. And I howl a lot better than them too! That cat knows to run when he hears me!

Watch out Joey!

Weird Word Wednesday #5

It's been awhile since I posted a blog about the woeful inadequacies of the human language. Some of you may have been wondering, 'When will Beaker post another insightful and scathing review of some silly thing people say?'

So sue me. They got another dog and I didn't feel much like typing.

This week's dumb human phrase is 'shindig'. Humans use this phrase when they are trying to say 'We are having a party or a get-together'. I have mostly heard this particularly stupid way of saying that coming from the mouths of teenagers and college-age humans, who I would not miss at all if they should suddenly die in their sleep tonight. According to Merriam-Webster's online dictionary (and since this is an institution run by - you guessed it - humans - their expertise is questionable at best), the word 'shindig' is probably an altered form of the word 'shindy'. Well, that was pretty helpful.

Thanks, idiots at Merriam-Webster.

Either way, we have yet again established that human beings are incapable of clear and concise speech. Their only real utility is in cleaning litter boxes, getting out the catnip, and purchasing and distributing cat food and water, and even at those tasks they are largely inadequate.

The waiting is the hardest part

I miss my dad. He's fun; he lets me walk on his shoulders, where I can look down on those dogs. He also fights with me, and we play Attack of the Shirt, which is where I jump at a shirt he throws over the back of a chair and kill it. I hope he comes home soon, he's on a mountain or something right now. Plus, my litter box needs cleaning. Also my food dish is getting less than 90% full.


He also sometimes lets me go outside. Outside is the best. That's where I met him and convinced him to bring me home. I even threw up on the seat of his truck on the way home to let him know he was mine. I know he appreciated it. But I'd like to go outside again.






I hope he comes home soon.