Evil Uncle Casey

Well what an interesting few days it has been. We got up very early the other day and went for a car ride. It was pretty long, and we went to grandma's house. Only this time it was my other grandma, and her house is different from the grandma's house I am used to. The first thing I smelled when I came in were cats, and they are all hiding upstairs still. I think this is pretty cowardly of them, they should come down and meet their hound cousins. Daddy tells me there are five of them here, just like at our house. But these cats are all like Nibbler, they are afraid of us hounds, even though we just want to chase them and pin them down and sniff and lick them.

Then later that day my puppy cousins Aksel and Chopper came over. Now as you may remember they can be kind of mean to me, but this time after a short round of howling they remembered their manners and were actually trying to play with us. Chopper likes our toy duckies and piggies and we all played chase and fetch and chew-squeak-squeak. Aksel though... well I guess Aksel is afraid of us for some reason because he always growls and shows his teeth when he gets near us. He has to wear a collar that pokes him in the neck to remind him we are peace-loving hounds. We all went on a walk together yesterday and he was fine outside, it's just inside that he is afraid of us. Hopefully he will get over that.

Then last night I met another uncle I have. His name is Casey and he seemed like a nice enough uncle at first. We all had Thanksgiving turkey and pie and other goodies and then we fell asleep on the couch watching football. I got up this morning and did my morning necessaries like eating and pooping, and then wanted to get up on the couch to have my morning nap, when I discovered this.

What is the meaning of this?

... what is going on here? Is this how Uncle Casey treats guests in grandma's house? Rosco, Layla and I got up and gave him the customary basset hound nudge, as if to say "Hey get your lazy butt off the couch, that is our job". He responded by petting us and pushing us down onto the floor. Well! Of all the nerve!

We are guests here, so we tried not to get too upset about this. Rosco tried to jump up on him, thinking perhaps he wanted us to snuggle with him some. We just met and all so I was not too comfortable with the idea. Well as you can see below Rosco didn't get to stay up there very long, he got pushed onto the floor again.

So much for that approach.

So at that point Uncle Casey had to get up and do his morning necessaries, and we took that as our sign that he was up and was going to be doing the important human things that humans normally do. I saw an opportunity to inherit a warm spot and I wasted no time.

There, that's better.

But I was wrong. Uncle Casey came back and kicked us off the couch so he could lay down and play video games. I gave up at that point, and then I remembered something I had been hearing on TV lately - it is Black Friday, the day that evil-hearted people spend the entire day pursuing unimportant things and ignoring the needs of basset hounds. Thus I have seen the true nature of my Evil Uncle Casey.

I guess this is how we treat basset hounds when we are Evil Uncle Casey.

HOSA public service announcement

Greetings readers! Rosco here, bringing you an important holiday update! Now as you know, the holiday of Tanksgiving is coming up. At first I thought 'What a strange holiday - giving each other tanks.' Then daddy explained it was actually a day to be thankful for what we have. It is also a day to eat a ton of food and sleep a lot. Or, as we bassets call it, Wednesday.

But the thankful part got me thinking about what I am thankful for. I am really thankful for my mama, daddy, sisters, cousins, grandmas, toys, treats, food dish, and bed. I am also thankful for the dog park, walks, car rides, and belly rubs. Most of those things are pretty safe but mama and daddy are in constant danger - and that's where the Hound Dog Safety Administration (HOSA) comes in.

Now your humans face multiple threats throughout the day. They include slipping and falling, but a good HOSA dog is ready to thwart these threats at a moment's notice.

Humans trip all the time

They also fall a lot too

Slippery floors are their worst enemy; they never bother to lick up puddles

So the only real option us HOSA dogs have is to be vigilant and be ready to act when necessary. I have included a few updates to these signs below, to give you some ideas on what to watch out for.

Well if you won't clean the puddles up I guess we have to catch you...

Us hounds have sturdy backs to catch your uncoordinated bodies!

Never fear human, HOSA dog is here!

But one of the most important things we can do is help a human who is choking on their food. Now a good HOSA dog needs to understand what basset safety researchers refer to as the 'Houndlich Maneuver'. Without this breakthrough technique, lots of hounds would have no way to save their humans. But with this simple action, we can help our people make it through the traumatic experience that is choking on food. The picture below shows you exactly what to do!

See it is that simple! Go HOSA dogs!

Wow what a weekend

My brother and sister are sleeping on the couch right now. It was an incredible weekend. I thought I had better put something on the blog or else all our readers will get bored with us and leave.

The first thing that happened was that grandma came. I was glad to see she did not bring Max or Maggie because they can be brats. Grandma came home before daddy so she let us out and we got to help her take a nap. Then daddy and mama came home and we all had fun barking and howling. The next day they got my chariot out and we went on a really long car ride. I was not so happy to be stuck in the small car with Rosco and Layla constantly bumping me but we eventually got to a place.

It was a new place and it smelled like lots of dogs. I didn't know what to do - I haven't been around lots of dogs before so it made me nervous. But they set up my chariot finally and we got to sleep in it. Mama and daddy were talking about Guardian Angels and waddling and all sorts of nonsense talk.

I like my chariot.

The next day we went to a park next to the chariot parking place. There were dogs running around off-leash everywhere. This was the part I didn't like because strange dogs would come right up to you and sniff you. I growled a few times but mostly I just stuck close to mom and dad - they were ready to wander off without me! They tried a silly hat on me. Rosco and Layla have regular hats but they wanted me to wear this really goofy one like I was an old lady hound or something.

Not my style.

Then dad set up this really cool umbrella thing and we got to sit under it. A lady with some hounds that they met before they got me came over. The new hounds were named Scarlett and Barnaby - neither of them bothered me so they are OK in my book. Rosco was supposed to run in a race or something but he was too scared by this barking dog. I don't blame him, it was an all-around scary day.

Too many dogs for me!

We slept in the chariot again that night and the next day we had to wear costumes. I felt silly in mine and they wanted me to go up on stage to show it off to all the other hounds but I wasn't having any of it. I put on the basset brakes and made them drag me up there.

I suppose you think we look cute?

Then we went on one of the longest walks I've ever been in. Normally I enjoy my walks but this one was a little weird - there were tons and tons of other bassets in it and all these people lining up the street to watch us walk. I guess they were trying to learn how to walk like a basset, who knows? But there were a few little kids so they got to pet me and love on me. That was a nice part, but I was a bit out of my element.

I like little kids.

Mom and dad kept trying to make me walk but I wouldn't budge. It rained a lot that day too and we were all wet. Then they invited Barnaby and Scarlett into my chariot - I wasn't too crazy about that but what can you do? I was so tired from the walking that I didn't put up much of a fight. Later that day we closed up my chariot and came back home.

Then the next day they took us to a new house! Daddy said it was all ours and we don't have to rent one anymore! And the best part is that there are no stairs and the yard smells a little like squirrels. Rosco and Layla keep telling me about squirrels - little mousy things that live in trees but sometimes come down into yards to be chased. I am looking forward to that!

So that was our long weekend. Sorry we didn't blog more but dad said there was no internet in my chariot. I will have to make him get some.

The terrible tri-color twosome

Rosco and Breezy have really been pains lately. Mama has had to yell at them several times for being bad dogs. Especially when she is cooking and Rosco gets in the way. I learned a long time ago that a lady needs her space when she is in her special place. That's why I don't like to sleep on the couch when lots of other dogs come piling up there with me - I need my beauty rest. Well, mama's special place is in the kitchen. I am also more likely to get samples of what she is cooking if I stay on her good side. Her peanut butter cookies are delicious!

Rosco is just a misbehaving child. He likes to shred things like tissue paper, and he is always trying to get into things he shouldn't like litter boxes and trash cans. He also likes to play toss the sock, and he gets hollered at all the time for stealing dirty laundry and running around the house with it. Lately he has been unrolling toilet paper. Me, I like to lay on the couch and snooze. The worst thing I ever do is chase cats and that's only because they deserve it.

Breezy is a high-strung basset. I have tried to teach her how to be cool and snoozy like me but she would rather gallop around the house like a newborn horse and howl at the top of her lungs. She also gets really bossy when I feel like play-fighting and barks in my face. I try and knock her over but with those long legs it can be difficult sometimes. She is also very demanding of mama and daddy when it comes to snuggling and it is just not worth it to try and outcompete her to get some belly rubs.

Neither one of them are any good at walks. Rosco just runs too fast while Breezy usually stops and gets drug behind us. I'm the only one who walks at the right pace. And playtime is the worst - I can't win because they gang up on me. Breezy attacks from above and Rosco tries to bite my legs. Tonight I was playing with my squeaky pig and daddy threw it for me. Breezy tried to steal it but I beat her to the toy. Then daddy chased me and told me to give him that squeaky pig, and I made him run all over the house. Finally I was laying on the couch grooming Mr. Squeaky Pig and then Breezy stole my toy!

I need new siblings.

Hound Dog Time

As you may have noticed we missed Famous Basset Hound Friday yesterday. I would like to apologize to all my blogging basset buddies who no doubt lost precious sleeping time as they fretted over how they were going to get through their Friday without learning about another famous hound.

But I have a good excuse. I have decided to start practicing for my singing career. Mama inspired me to write this song, because our parents don't live on the same clock as we do. We have to wake them up every morning to go outside and go potty, and it seems like whenever we really want to take a nap they want us to wake up to do something. We're never on the same page when it comes to baths. Clearly there is a lot of conflict here, and conflict is a great breeding ground for excellent music.

It is a well-known fact that hounds are among the most gifted dogs when it comes to music. So all we really had to do was write a song and it would immediately become a big hit.

So Layla and Breezy and I were laying around the other day when it hit us - we could write a song that underscored the differences between people and basset hound schedules. After a lot of intensive napping and brainstorming we came up with a pretty good set of lyrics. We also had a great tune picked out but it turns out some guy had already stolen it from us. Our basset law firm will be in contact with him shortly but in the meantime we present to you the soon-to-be famous song "Hound Dog Time".

Hound Dog Time

by

Rosco, Layla, and Breezy

The Hounds of Jowls of Fury

We wake up in the morning

Daddy's still in bed snoring

Got to wake him up right

But if we jump up there

And step on mama's hair

She wakes up in a terrible fright

Livin' on hound dog time

Livin' on hound dog time

Mama's not a morning person

So we have to make certain

Livin' on hound dog time

So we stay on the floor

And whine a little more

We try to remember our place

We look over at the door

And dream about the score

Then lick daddy on his face

Livin' on hound dog time

Livin' on hound dog time

It's time to feed your hounds

Get out of bed right now

You're livin' on hound dog time

Then they go to work on time

And we get left behind

To sleep away the day in our crates

Then dad comes home for lunch

And we get snacks for brunch

Then nap with him while we wait

Livin' on hound dog time

Livin' on hound dog time

We're glad you work for our food

But crating us can be so rude

Livin' on hound dog time

When mama comes home sometimes

We greet her with our smiles

And let her give us belly rubs

We know she likes those times

And we don't have to climb

Into her lap to get our love

Livin' on hound dog time

Livin' on hound dog time

We like mama's lap

A good place to take a nap

Livin' on hound dog time

When we go for a walk

We barely get to talk

Our parents make us move so fast

When we get back in the door

We lay upon the floor

And rest up to the very last

Livin' on hound dog time

Livin' on hound dog time

We're wasting our hound noses

We want to stop and smell the roses

Livin' on hound dog time

But car rides are so fun

We enjoy every one

And stick our heads out in the breeze

We pass by all the crowds

And watch them watch our jowls

And wish they were so cool as we

Livin' on hound dog time

Livin' on hound dog time

Our family basset-mobile

Sits up high on all four wheels

Livin' on hound dog time

So at the end of our long day

We always end it the same way

Resting our weary basset heads

We wait for daddy to say

It's bedtime, head that way

Then we get back up on the bed

Livin' on hound dog time

Livin' on hound dog time

Sometimes life can be tough

And usually it's pretty rough

When your parents don't live on hound dog time!

These walks will be the death of me

So as you may recall I was recently told by some quack veterinarian that I needed to lose weight because I am too fat. Well, I happen to think that Czechoslovakian vets are not the foremost authority on beautiful voluptuous basset hound ladies, but mom and dad have taken her words to heart and are making us all exercise.

By going on walks. Now normally walks are great fun - you can stroll around town at your leisure, sniff all the interesting smells, terrorize geese and squirrels and bunnies, work on your basset tan, pick up scraps of goodies off the ground (when your slave-driving human isn't yanking on your leash), get lovins' from people who walk by, and fraternize with the dogs in the neighborhood.

But these new walks are terrible. We live in Missouri, which evidently had some mountains installed since I learned my basset geography, because our walks are less about basset enjoyment and more about basset exhaustion. Up and down hills, no getting to smell the neighbor's yard, no playing with other puppies in the area (everyone has dogs with fences and they are all barky and mean-sounding), the dead of summer heat, and conflicting human commands ('keep walking' vs. 'quit pulling - make up your MINDS).

But mom is relentless. The other day she practically dragged me home. I wish they would take us to the dog park so I could snooze in the sun and play with some other dogs at my own leisure, instead of being walked until my stumpy feet are sore. And not getting to stop and smell things is just cruel - a waste of a perfectly good hound nose. Of course sometimes the walks end with a good treat (we got Frosty Paws yesterday), but other times we only get to come in and run up a flight of stairs to get to our water. Stupid split-level house.

Here is a pictorial example of how to treat your basset hound, humans.

The right way - look at how happy the person and the hound both are

The wrong way - this hound is on the brink of death!

My newest obsession

Daddy came home the other day and he smelled different. Some days he comes home he smells like dirt and sweat. Other days he smells like the office and books and papers. Some days he smells like a truck and grease and gasoline (the truck part is OK but the gas and grease are not). Still others he smells like something called a "turtle". I'm not sure what a turtle is but it smells interesting... kind of muddy and dirty and animally all at the same time. I haven't ever seen a turtle before but they smell like something that would be fun to play with (sort of like cicadas, which are both tasty and animally).

But the other day he smelled like something from a ways in the past. I remember when we used to go for walks in the park back in the last house we lived at. There was this big, long path that went over the lake. There were lots of these things there.

And wherever these things were, there was TONS of this:

Of course I never really got to smell it very well thanks to unfair parents and short leashes. But I would have loved to.

These dogs are living the dream

Well, the other day, daddy came home and his pants were covered in this stuff, and he had feathers and stuff on his hands. We only got to smell it for a little bit before he made us go outside and he cleaned up, but I'm sure it was goose poop and goose feathers!

What was he doing? Where did he find geese? Is there another park with geese here? We didn't see any on the walks we have been on.

We must find these geese!

Famous Basset Hound Friday #7

Wow, what a week it has been. We got a new sister! Her name is Breezy. Mom and dad call her 'Breezy-peasy', which isn't as cool of a name as 'Puppyman', but what can you do? She is kind of shy but she seems alright. She smells REALLY good and I want to play with her a lot but dad stops me from doing some things. Too bad. But on a good note we have been on walks like every day this week! It's been warm and the mountains of snow are gone and - best of all - there are squirrels in this neighborhood! They live way in the back where there are woods but at least we can see them now.

So anyway, this week's famous hound doesn't have a name, he's just called 'dog'. Not very creative. But 'dog' is from the TV show Columbo, which is about a brilliant detective (who probably learned everything he knows from his hound) that solves all kinds of crimes. According to Wikipedia, 'dog' might have actually been named Fang (what a cool hound name) but that is just speculation.

In the video below Columbo has the mistaken impression that hounds will do what people want them to. We are not like silly labs or german shepherds (but we could be lethal weapons if we WANTED to - I myself am a torpedo dog very often). We do the things we want to do and we let people enjoy us! 'Dog' was definitely a hound's hound!

Tough being new

Hi, my name is Breezy. I'm new here and let me tell you it is tough being the new girl. Ms. Layla doesn't like me very much. But at least Mr. Rosco is nice to me (mostly - he does bite at my face when we get treats sometimes and he doesn't like me to get lovins'). The only thing is he is very rambunctious, and I am not too sure if I want to play so rough all the time. But I am starting to feel a little more at home here. I let them hear my howl and the people calling themselves 'mom' and 'dad' seemed to like it. The cats all ran and hid, but cats are sort of a new thing for me (and there certainly are a lot of them here). I'm not sure if I'm going to stay here or not, even though the 'dad' person says this is a 'forever home'. It sounds nice but it's tough to know what will happen next. I guess if I do stay here I would like to be friends with Rosco and Layla.

I still don't know exactly what happened to me though. I lived in another house with other dogs until very recently, and then Mr. Rosco and Ms. Layla came and met me at the park and I thought we might just go for a walk together. The next thing I know I'm in a stranger's car and they take me to their house and I stay the night there. The 'dad' person sleeps on the floor with me which is kind of nice - I got to sleep with more hounds like me and I didn't have to sleep in the garage like I'm used to. Still, I'm thinking OK, surely my family will come and get me the next morning. Instead I got put in a crate for most of the day and let out a few times until the mom/dad people came home and let me out. I'm still pretty scared at this point but they seem nice (although I get hollered at for something called counter-surfing. Well, don't put such good smelling food up there!). Oh and the 'dad' person gave me peanut butter on a spoon! This place can't be that bad if you get that sort of stuff here.

So tonight we went for another walk and I got to smell the neighborhood and see all the dogs. This is a very doggie neighborhood and everybody barks at you. I just had to open up and howl back. Right now I'm laying on the couch and not feeling too bad. There's also a little girl who lives behind the house that likes us a lot. I guess I could get used to it here but what a whirlwind these last few days have been!

The case of the missing sister

My sister disappeared the other day. I was very upset. She got to go for a car ride without me, and I'm pretty sure she got to go for a walk too. I got put in my crate, and she, mom, and dad left the house. I threw a fit but it didn't help. Mom and dad came back with her after awhile and she smelled funny, like the vet's office. Maybe I dodged a bullet?

Then the next day dad took her away early in the morning. I didn't see her all day until the evening, and when she came home she was really tired and her foot was all wrapped up. She really smelled like the vet then, and like something else sort of familiar. It's been awhile since I was at the vet but I do remember being left there overnight once and waking up after a long sleep. Parts of me hurt and I had to take medicine. I also didn't get to play for a little while. It's been so long ago I can't really remember for sure, but I know it wasn't fun. So I guess I can't be too jealous. Before the vet her foot had a big spot on it that smelled strange and needed to be licked (we got yelled at for that, even at night, our parents can be real pains!). So I guess maybe that's why they took her to the vet? All I know is I can't wrestle with her anymore without getting yelled at. Sometimes she wears this silly cone thing, and dad even put our collars on the other night so I know it's serious. They don't let her run or anything, and she keeps getting the medicine treats.

Vets ruin the lives of basset hounds, I don't care what owners say. Every time a pet comes home from the vet there are more rules and less fun.

It's great to be a hound

Life is good. I've got to go on at least one car ride a day in the past week. Let me tell you a bit about car rides. They used to happen once a week when daddy and I lived in the other house for awhile, but after we moved in with mama they happened a lot less. I was a sad hound. The only nice thing about it was that car rides always ended up at the park. I love the park, it is probably the best place on earth. There are lots of other dogs there, and lots of people who want to stop and pet me. And the smells! Such smells! I wouldn't even want to go for a walk, I'd rather just wander around and smell, but you know how dad is.

Anyway, lately I have been going on car rides to the park every day. Daddy goes to work now, which is kind of strange, but when he comes home we go for a car ride. The weird part is the cats come with us. They all go into one of our crates, with our bed in it, and then they go into the car. Then we "load up" and go for a ride. The windows get put down, which I love, because it lets me show everyone just how fast I can run. I run so fast in the car my ears stay flying behind me the whole time! And people in the nearby cars all check me out - just yesterday a whole bus of kids drove by and pointed and smiled at me. It's great to be a hound on a car ride.

The recent car rides always end at the park. I thought there were squirrels in my yard, but there are TONS of squirrels at the park now. And they are so lazy! They sit there and taunt Layla and I, instead of running like they should. They're lucky dad holds us back or we would catch them and smell them and possibly eat part of them before dad caught us!