Do you know what this means?

So last week I was having a great week until Friday.  Friday I didn't get my normal breakfast and I wasn't too happy.  Then Dad took me back to the place I don't like - the vet's office!!! And to make matters worse he left me there! The people there were nice but they gave this stuff that made me feel all funny and made me very sleepy.  The next thing I know I woke up and my side, leg and groin hurt. But to make matter worse, they gave me this terrible hair cut.

I mean really? How am I suppose to impress my lady friends if my hair looks this terrible.

Also I was hurt all over and I was still pretty sleepy. Mom and Dad tried their best to make me happy and comfortable by giving me stuff to help me not hurt. But I didn't like this stuff, I made them work to get it into my mouth and sometimes I spit it back out because it tasted bad. They even tried to disguise it in a treat but I figured that one out quickly.  No fooling this distinguished hound! But they finally manage to make me swallow it and then I slept.

And slept some more.

This weekend was a blurry haze for me but today I'm feeling much better. Today my appetite returned and I drank lots of water.  I also didn't have to have as much yucky medicine either.  I was able to get up and move around on my own, although I still hurt.  Mom even said she knew I was getting back to normal because I was passing gas (However, she didn't not state it that delicately! And those gagging noises she made were just rude!). I also noticed something new today, the huge lump on my side is gone!  I can move around like when I was a young debonair hound.  This also meant I could inspect the sore spots on my body.  I tried to be discrete about it but the every watchful hawkeye parents caught me in the act.  So now I'm stuck in this:

I really hope my lovely lady friends don't see this.

So according to Mom, this means I'm feeling better.  However, I'm just feeling humiliated.  I see you cats snickering over in the corner.  When I'm all healed up you better watch out!!

Stupid TV Commercial Sunday # 40

OK so this commercial has been on for awhile, but it is actually kind of funny.  Not because the dogs are right at the end - it's funny because it makes dogs look stupid.  I mean c'mon, where are those fierce fangs we hear so much about?  And NO amount of doggie treats can combat their horrid dragon breath.

You guys look really stupid

OK OK OK I can't pretend it isn't funny!  And there is a website that lets you try it on your own animals.  So we tried it out on our dogs, because dentures on cats isn't funny at all. If you have stupid dogs in your house you want to try this on you can go to this site.  But please note: we didn't do it to Beau, because putting dentures on a dog old and decrepit enough that he might actually need his own dentures just isn't cool.

First here is Breezy, because she always chases us.

Looking good there you dippy dog

Next is Layla, that blimp of a basset.  She likes to chase us too but she also takes up a ton of space on the couch, space that could be otherwise occupied by us cats.

Laugh it up blimpy

And finally is Rosco, all blinged up because of his obsession with GQ models and showing off his man region.  And Santa hat.

You have something in your teeth...  bwahaha...

This has been the best Stupid TV Commercial Sunday ever!

That old dog is back

As you probably know, we recently brought in another dog named Beauregard. At first I thought 'great, another dog to compete with for food and attention and sleeping space. Just what we need around here.' They have already taken over the couch for the most part. And they get most of the attention nowadays. I mean as cats we generally could care less what people want, and only bother with their affections when it suits us, but it would still be nice not to have to jockey for position.

But then when he arrived I realized he was a pretty pathetic sight. He had huge tumors all over him and he could hardly walk and there was no way he was going to be getting up on the couch. And he is so old! Older than Bunsen even, who before Beau was the oldest thing in the house.

And to top it off he came back from the vet's today. They removed some of his tumors and he is even more pathetic than before. He is half-shaven and... well here just look at the picture.

I kind of feel sorry for the old guy now

I hope he feels better soon. I also hope with that big tumor gone that he won't be able to jump on the couch.

Famous Basset Hound Friday # 49

Let me start out this Famous Basset Hound Friday by saying that Beauregard the Basset was taken this morning. He went to the vet's and they are keeping him overnight. Daddy said that they removed 10 whole pounds of tumors from him. That is like 25% of me. 25% of a puppyman! The big one on his chest is gone and the weird hanging one on his back leg is gone. I guess he had one near his nether regions because that one is gone too. I myself did not fancy the idea of checking out old man basset hound nether regions so I was not aware of that last one, but any tumors gone are good things. The vet said he woke right up from surgery and is doing well. He gets to come home tomorrow but has to go back in a few days later to get his drains and stitches taken out. I hope he feels better soon.

Anyway that is all for our Beau update. Stay tuned for more Beau-related news.

And now it is time for our latest famous hound! Today is a four-for-one deal! Yes I am wheeling and dealing, handing out famous hounds like it is going out of style!

It's not though! We will keep doing this until there are no more famous hounds, at which point the world will be a little bit less houndy! And that will be terrible! But fear not, there is no shortage of famous hounds!

We would like to introduce you to Winston, Aimee, Cleo, and Bella. They are the HoundDogs of HoundDogMom, one of the first basset blogs we ever started to read and another inspiration for Jowls of Fury. We even got to meet each of them (except Bella) at the first GABR waddle we went to. Unfortunately Ms. Cleo had to go to the bridge last year, and it was very hard for her mama. But eventually they found Bella, another rescue hound (yay HoundDogMom and the other HoundDogs!), and she has fit right in.

That sort of sounds familiar...

Anyway, if you would like to check out the doings of the HoundDogs you can click on HoundDogMom's blog link that I have conveniently inserted here. They do lots of fun stuff like play in the snow, run the Basset 500, and post 'Wordless Wednesdays'. These posts are some of my favorites because they show the complexities of basset hound life with no words at all. It is very artsy and something we have not tried to capture here at Jowls of Fury. Also Beaker has her stupid Weird Word thing that she rarely does but daddy says we can't take her airtime away from her. All she ever does is lay on the couch, we have 4 hounds in this house cats I believe the laying on the couch jobs are spoken for! Go lick yourselves or something!

Anyway those are our newest famous hounds!

My big day

Today was a very eventful day.  Dad took me to the vet's this morning.  I was initially very excited to go for a car ride, but I was less excited when I realized it was to the vet's.  However they didn't hurt me too badly, only drew a little blood and then let me go home.  All the young pups here were very jealous that I got personal time with dad in the car.  We napped in our crates until lunch, when dad came home and let us out.  Normally he gets his lunch and goes back to work, and we only get a few minutes out of our crates to do our business.  But today he stayed home and ate lunch with us, so we got to sprawl on the floor and on the couch before going back in our crates.

Mom beat dad home today and she sat out on the porch with us.  It was a really nice day out, very sunny and warm and breezy.  When dad got home we got to go to the dog park!  I ran around and barked at everyone, and made sure to sniff lots of things.  Many people gave me attention but more than a few of them commented on my health issues.  I always have thought that was rather rude of people, and it makes me self-conscious of my appearance and it really takes away from the enjoyment of the dog park.

Later, mom and dad told me that the blood draw this morning turned out OK.  The vet said I am healthy enough to go through surgery.  They said that tomorrow the vet is going to remove some of my lumps and make me more comfortable.  Dad said he will put me to sleep (not that bad kind of putting to sleep - I made sure I understood dad very clearly and that the vet was not going to put me to sleep permanently, I still have a lot of bassety things I want to do and I am starting to like my new home).  Once I am asleep (just temporarily) they will do surgery on me.  I will wake up with a few stitches but lots less tumors, and I will go through a recovery period.  Then I should be good as new.  Mom says I will be like a 'new man'.  I wonder...

I wonder how many years they will take off me

And lastly, today is National Dog Biscuit Day.  We celebrated by getting a new bag of treats tonight.  I liked mine but to be perfectly honest I am a little worried about tomorrow.  I haven't been to surgery since I was a pup and got fixed.  I am not the young strapping hound I once was, and I hope that everything goes OK.  Especially now that I have a couple of special lady friends - I need to come back in good shape so I can take them out to the dog park and show them a good time.  Their names are Sadie and Maggie, we met at the Cyberhound.  

So if you happen to have a moment to spare please cross your paws for me tomorrow.  I will have dad write about me once I come home.  Thanks to everyone who has supported me and my surgery, we really appreciate it.

So... I will see everyone when I get back.

Rescue Me # 6

Today is Fat Tuesday. Unlike regular Tuesdays, on Fat Tuesday you get to eat more because you have to give up regular food for the next 40 days. Fortunately this only applies to humans. Us bassets don't do well with self-denial. But in honor of Fat Tuesday, I wanted to pick a hound for our latest Rescue Me posting that had to do with Mardi Gras, which is a celebration of Fat Tuesday and the 40-days thing. It is a celebration where girls show off their lady parts to get beads. Somehow this is all related to the Fat Tuesday thing again. Maybe the girls are giving up their clothes? Who knows. People don't make sense sometimes, but we keep them around because they can drive and get us food.

So anyway. Our latest Rescue Me hound is named Daisy. She is a senior hound in Louisiana, and is being fostered by the good folks at Looziana Basset Rescue. Not to be confused with the evil Nibbler, who also comes from Louisiana, Daisy is a good basset hound. To check out her page you should click here. Daisy is an older hound much like our new brother Beauregard. At first I was not too crazy about this arrangement but after having him here for awhile we are getting used to Beau. We haven't quite got around to snuggling with him yet though. But Ms. Daisy sure looks like a happy hound... she has quite a smile on her face.

Probably just saw a topless person

Oh what the heck I will get in on the action too, it is only Fat Tuesday once a year. Happy Fat Tuesday, promiscuous ladies!

Where are my beads?

Stupid TV Commercial # 39

With all the new dogs in this house it is getting difficult to watch TV.  They take up so much of the couch!  And the newest one has really bad gas!  Fortunately mom falls asleep with the TV on sometimes and I catch up on my Golden Girls episodes while they sleep.  They don't make actresses like Estelle Getty anymore.

Anyway - this new store opened up in town recently.  They have really bad commercials.  I think they are supposed to be bad, and that is supposed to make them slightly less bad somehow (humans...  go figure).  But in this case, it just remains bad.  The green eyeshadow is what does it for me.  I think she ought to have that looked at.  Plus why are her legs like that when she is flying?  If she tried to land they would buckle under her admittedly lithe, healthy-lifestyle influenced frame.

The crusades failed for a reason, you know

Anyway - time to go lay in the window and watch the birds.

Famous Basset Hound Friday # 48

I must apologize for being late with our Famous Basset Hound Friday entry. I was all ready to blog yesterday and then mama sprang the horrible trap on us: bath day. And even worse, she cut our toes off too! It was just awful. We tried to run away and hide (except Beau, he liked his bath and was strutting his stuff afterwards), but mama closed all the doors and gates.

Then, to make matters worse, we heard that Nibbler was up to his usual tricks and we had to put a stop to it, stumpy toes and all.

Take that you mean kitty

By the end of the day I was just too exhausted to blog. But today is a new day! We got daddy up promptly at 5:15 AM to begin our routine! Going outside and peeing! Coming in and laying on the couch! Sleeping while daddy watches cartoons! Whining at him until he got up and fed us! Although today mama fed us instead because she was tired of daddy's laziness. And then we played some! And now we are blogging!

So... this week's famous hound has inspired her own cartoon! Her name is Gabriel, and she is the animation partner for Mamoru Oshii. Mr. Oshii is an anime artist, and he draws important cartoons about basset hounds. His most famous one is called 'Ghost in the Shell', about a basset hound who finds itself stuck in a post-apocalyptic world filled with cyborgs. Although technically it is a cloned basset hound, but we feel that is way too complicated and really, cloned or not, a hound is a hound.

We hounds are all business

Gabriel the hound in the anime cartoon is named after the real Gabriel, who is the inspiration for the clone Gabriel in the cartoon. Mr. Oshii is definitely a dog person, he likes to play with his hounds, which is probably the best way a person can spend their free time (besides feeding their hounds of course).

Not the best picture but a cool hound and her cool person

So Gabriel is our newest famous hound!

I did not need your votes anyway

As you all know I entered into the Mango Minster Contest That is Secretly Run by Cats. I did not win. I had some competition for the Bad Sport category, but they were all clearly inferior to me and should only be viewed as pitiful examples of cats and dogs trying to be bad.

They have a lot to learn. I can only presume that this outcome is one based upon the fact that the judge is a stupid dog. If I had known that from the start I would have spent my time doing better things, like cleaning myself.

So that has been my day.

It's my Gotcha Day!

Yup one year ago today I got to go and live with my new mama and daddy! I left behind the living in the garage thing, and got to go to a place where I got lots of lovins' right away. Daddy and I sat on the couch together and he petted me and told me how beautiful I was!

Yes I know, but go ahead and keep telling me

My new hound brother and sister were not very friendly at first and to be honest I was kind of mean to them as well - but it was a very stressful time and I didn't know what to do! Besides Rosco can be a real jealous baby sometimes.

If he sniffs my butt one more time I swear I'll...

But now I get to live in a place where there are lots of belly rubs, treats, Chicken McNuggets, and couches to lay on.

Unfortunately daddy has to lay on the floor.

I also get to dig in the blankets and hide from everyone!

I am invisible in my top-secret basset fortress

So it has been a great year! Plus I got a special nacho chip for my Happy Gotcha Day treat! So as long as the Christmas Pig Monster stays dead for the rest of all time it is smooth sailing for this basset hound girl!

Rescue Me # 5

As you all know we are big proponents of rescues here at Jowls of Fury. Recent studies have shown that 75% of all the hounds at Jowls of Fury are rescues. Technically 100% of us are because Rosco was rescued from not having a mama as good as our mama when mama went and got him. Well our newest rescue Beauregard reminded me the other day that we need to do another Rescue Me hound, since his story got so much attention from all our basset friends. He also wanted me to say thank you to all the people who have donated money to his Chip-In account. Mama and daddy are talking about taking him to the vet for surgery to remove some of his lumps so he won't breathe so hard when he walks.

I wish him luck with that. I personally hate vets.

Anyway, this week's Rescue Me hound is named Busby. Mama picked him out. And ohhhh my lady basset heart skipped a beat when I saw him. Being a red and white hound I am different colored than all the other Jowls of Fury hounds, and it sometimes makes me wish for another red and white hound to snuggle up with. The tricolors just don't get it. Well Mr. Busby is like an exotic foreign hound with his gorgeous mahogany coat! Plus he has very soulful deep looking eyes. Go see what I mean by checking out his page. He is a hound that is being fostered by Guardian Angel Basset Rescue, who we have blogged about many times when we go to their waddle.

Basset 500 hounds are the best

And I must say that while rescue hounds are great there comes a time when you can have too many bassets. We are not at that point yet here at Jowls of Fury but another hound might be too much. Still I am glad we rescued Beau, he seems like a nice hound for being so old and he definitely needs our love. I have not tried to snuggle with him yet though, I much prefer to lay on the couch with mama and daddy instead of sleeping on the floor. Hopefully his vet visit will make him jump better so he can sleep up on the couch with the rest of us (except Breezy, she does not like to snuggle - I wonder if she is really a basset hound?).

Famous Basset Hound Friday # 47

Well as you all know we have a new hound at the Jowls of Fury household. His name is Beau and he is an elder hound. I have been told we have to respect our elders.

I am not sure if I like respecting my elders. Right now my elder hound brother is going through my toys and getting his elder hound brother slobber all over my favorite duckies and tug ropes. He has taken my daddy away from me all the time now because he is stubborn and barks at him nonstop unless he is getting constant attention. I know he has had a rough last year and his Gotcha day was recently but I am a hound myself. We hounds need love and attention! Fortunately mama and daddy try and be fair and love us all but this new hound is taking some adjustment. He also doesn't want to run and play like we do, and he is very lumpy.

Anyway. I decided that maybe Famous Basset Hound Friday is what I needed to take my mind off these stressful events. And boy did we find a good famous hound! Her name is Maggie! She is an accomplished hound author, much like myself, who uses her person to help her write interesting work! She has a book with her face on the cover called The Tao of Maggie: The Sound of One Hound Barking.

There has never been a better book cover

In this book Maggie dispenses her hound wisdom in one or two sentence bursts, making it easier for slow-minded humans and some cats to grasp her meaning. She takes a very laid-back approach to life and doesn't let the little things get her down. She is definitely an inspiration to us young budding hound authors that are desperately hoping for a book contract someday. And Maggie is our newest famous hound!

Of all the dogs I hate this one the least

I could get used to this new kind of dog. He is old and decrepit! And he can barely walk anywhere without wheezing and running out of breath! He is like the Darth Vader of dogs, only minus the horrible telekinesis and noisy energy-based weapons! The best part is that he does not seem to be interested in chasing me. His body is riddled with old age and he cannot torment me like the other three dogs! Haha!

So this bodes well for me. All I need to do is find a way to age the other three dogs to the point that they no longer are able to chase me anymore. As I understand it dogs age 7 years for every 1 human year. So in the next year or two they will all be too old and decrepit to chase me. And then victory will be mine!

I am too old for all of this

What is this thing for?  What am I supposed to do with this little keypad?  It's sort of like the phones but it is on the table instead of on the wall and it has too many buttons.  Things are much more complicated than when I was a pup.  But the hounds and the people in this house tell me that I am a celebrity now and that I should write this for my fans.  I will admit that I may not do most of the writing, if I can get the dad-person to do it for me.

I suppose I should start from the beginning.  My name is Beauregard the basset.  I am a 12 year old hound gentleman who has been through a bit of a rough spot lately.  I had a person that I loved very much who passed away and went to the human version of the Rainbow Bridge.  He didn't leave good instructions on who was supposed to care for me when he left, and I was inherited by his children.  Now they were good folks but they were not hound people and didn't know what to do with me.  Enter the nice folks at some newfangled website called Cyberhound, and a couple of nice ladies named Nancy.  They organized for me to be brought to this new home in Missouri where I was taken in.  Now I am not one to be choosy about cheritable folks, but the hounds in this house are all young punks.  They don't know how good they have it.

Listen to your elders

All three of them are jealous of me getting some attention.  Well I'm sorry but I just got here, and I need a little extra attention!  I mean I have not received the nonstop attention I deserve for the last year!  Rosco is the youngest, and the only other boy basset.  He acts like every time I get petted by either of his people that he is being thrown out in the cold.  Layla, the bigger of the two girls here, has been extremely vocal every time I get petted and she also is very jealous.  Breezy is a very brash young hound who barks and howls every chance she gets and is generally a nuisance.  All three of them jump up on their people and make a big scene all the time.  In my day we hounds did not behave this way.  A few well-placed barks was all we needed to do to get the attention we wanted.  When that didn't work we sat patiently and waited for our people to call us and invite us over for some attention.  We certainly didn't try and help ourselves to their food, like Rosco did the other day.  If it weren't for my health and age I would have taken him to task by now, but I have lots of tumors and it makes it hard to move around like I used to.  And this house has more cats than I can count.  Only one of them has any decency about him, an older chap named Bunsen who has seen more than a few years like myself.

I may be old but I still know how to have a good time

But they have been nice to me overall.  None of the young pups have tried to challenge me, I think they at least know they should respect their elders.  The people of the house have been very kind to take me in, although the  dad-person took me to the vet the other day.  Not very many hounds like the vet and I am no exception, but I think the vet was talking about trying to make me more comfortable.  Like most hounds I do enjoy my comfort.  Both of the people in the house let me out when I need to do my business, and I get lots of treats and love.  And of course we hounds like those things as well.  Why just last night the dad-person and I took a nap together on the floor.  The young punk hounds here get to nap with their people on the couch.  I am not in the kind of shape that will let me get up on the couch anymore, but it sure is nice to have them lay down with me.  Plus I have my old crate and a new food dish, so I am ready to go at this new house.  It's nice to meet people who want to take care of us older hounds.

Super Beau Sunday

So today I've high jacked Bunsen's Stupid TV commercial Sunday to talk about something called the "Superbowl." It happens once a year, Mama says, but I don't get all the hype. She says that men in outfits take a ball and run it across the grass and that it goes on for 3 hours. Now I've run around with a ball, even chased a ball but I can tell you that gets old FAST. I could think of something more fun to do for 3 hours, like napping. Now that's a sport a basset can get into!

Our friend Worm over at Life As I Know it: by Worm, the basset hound thinks it's called SuperFoodbowl Sunday. He says its where all of our favorite basset foods get put into a big bowl and we all get to eat it. That sound like my kind of bowl! So far tonight Mama and Daddy have had pizza with bacon on it and they haven't shared! So much for favorite basset foods.

But Mama tells me that today is special for another reason. Today is when we will be meeting out new foster brother, Beau. She said Beau is coming all the way from the East coast and that it's a longer trip than going to our Grandma's in Michigan. Wow that's a long drive! Mama told me that Beau is a special dog because his person died. I would be really sad if Mama or Daddy died. Beau's extended family weren't "dog people" and they didn't want him. I don't understand how anyone couldn't love a dog. I mean I'm the bestest basset in our house (don't tell Layla or Breezy). Everyone loves me! I'm sure that Beau is just as lovable. Anyway he had to live in a garage (kind of like Breezy) until Mama said he could come live here. Two nice ladies named Nancy are driving Beau so he can come live with us. So I guess for Beau today is Super Beau Sunday.

P.S. Mama and Daddy said because Beau is older he has to do to the vets for a check up, to get his toes cut off (because they are really really long), get his ears cleaned, and get shots......after that I stopped listening. Anyhoo this will cost lots of money and so she set up a Chip in for those who would like to help contribute to Beau's vet care. Check out the Chip in Link on our page if you want to help.

We won some awards!

Annie and Robin gave us some awards the other day!  We won the 'Pawsome Blogger' award along with the 'Liebster Blog Award'.  We would like to thank them both for the honor.  Now the hard part: we have to give the awards to more people.  These awards increase exponentially every time they are awarded, so at some point the entire blogging world will have them.

The Pawsome Blogger award has to be given to 8 other bloggers.  So...  here is my list of basset bloggers that I am passing it on to:

1. Gustaford F. Baros at Hounds About Town
2. Buddylee at The Adventures of a Lovable Hound - Where is Buddylee?
3. Floyd at Totalbassetcase
4. Droopy and company at Cheesehounds
5. Sissy at Don't Mess With My Tutu
6. Paul Newman at Starhound Blog
7. Stella at The Queen B
8. Hank at Basset Hound Hank and His Momma

The Liebster Blog Award has to go to 5 bloggers who have less than 200 fans.  Hopefully we will have 200 fans some day. Here are the 5 we decided to award it to, for links click on them above:

1. Gustaford F. Baros at Hounds About Town
2. Stella at The Queen B
3. Paul Newman at Starhound Blog
4. Floyd at Totalbassetcase
5. Sissy at Don't Mess With My Tutu

Famous Basset Hound Friday # 46

This week's hound is older than daddy. Well, he would be, if he was still alive. My guess is he went to the bridge awhile ago, for us hounds do not live to be nearly as ancient as daddy is. We are perpetually young and beautiful like Mama. His name was Fred, and he was the hound star of the movie Smoky and The Bandit.

The hound: the legend

Fred was the only person in the entire movie that had a normal name. Everyone else was named "Snowman", or "The Bandit", or "Frog", and even weird things like "Hot Pants". But this is definitely Hollywood make-believe land, because at one point Fred is seen swimming in really deep water. Us hounds neither swim nor "take baths" as the obviously non-basset expert "Snowman" points out in the clip at this link.

Now Fred is the hound who watches over "Snowman", who is a truck driver. This sounds like a lot of fun at first - a great big truck would make a great car ride for sure - but they are driving for 1800 miles, which is like the car ride to see our grandmas. But instead of ending at grandma's house, they end at warehouses. They drop off their load and then they turn around and do it again, with no grandma's or visiting with kids or chasing our buddies around the yard. And the whole time they are avoiding "Smoky", who is a police officer. So no thanks, I think I will stick to my normal car rides and grandma visitations.