All the dogs have been ranting about how great grandma's house is. What they forget is that us cats were visiting grandma's long before there were any dogs. Well there have always been dogs at grandma's, but those dogs at least stayed at grandma's and did not require us to travel in a small cage with the potential of cat vomit looming for 10 hours.
Now at grandma's there is an upstairs, a downstairs, and the floor that the dogs live on. Unfortunately the dog floor is between the two cat floors, so you literally take your life into your own paws to go from the sleeping room to the pooping and eating room. This makes it difficult if you are a true cat hero like me and refuse to fraternize with those god-forsaken dogs like some of my cat siblings.
What is a cat to do? Well, if you are a smart cat like me, you sleep under the bed or in the basement and wait for the dogs to take a nap. Then you come upstairs and scowl at them very ferociously, and mentally let them know how lucky they are that you are feeling benevolent and have decided to let them live another few hours. Then you hastily make your way up the stairs, squeeze your beautiful cat body through the handrail posts that some idiot built too close together, and scamper beneath the bed to sleep the sleep of the just.