August 28, 2011

Stupid TV Commercial Sunday # 26

This week's stupid commercial would really get under my collar, if I wore one. It's another example of the dog-biased media we are all subjected to these days. Commercials like these make me wonder why I even bother watching TV some days.

OK first of all, just because we are cats does NOT mean we are burglars. Not all cats are evil. Not all of the time anyway. Look it isn't our fault that dogs are so dumb and gullible and easy to outsmart! That doesn't make us evil, it just makes you stupid! Second, even if we WERE all evil, what on earth would we want with a bone or a rubber toy car? Keep your stupid dog-smelling stuff, we don't want it! And a stupid red umbrella wouldn't stop us anyway!

Dumb dogs. This was a really stupid TV commercial.

August 26, 2011

Famous Basset Hound Friday # 30

While I write this blog daddy is watching a very stupid movie called MegaPiranha. In it these giant fish are eating everyone except the main actors (who are terrible by the way). Right now the actor is in a car chase in something called a Kia. It's like a car ride but with squealing tires and Spanish guys. He likes movies like these. They are on a TV station called SyFy. Anyway...

This week's Famous Basset Hound is another blogging basset. Her name is Molly! Molly likes our blog and she recently pointed out that she became famous! So that qualifies her to be a Famous Basset Hound!

Molly's full name is Molly McFreckles. She writes a blog called Molly McFreckles' World where she talks about life with her brother Winston and her mommy and daddy. Just like us they have exciting basset adventures that are occasionally fraught with perils such as baths and vet visits.

Molly (right) and Winston (left)... I think

Molly also has something called Addison's Disease - it means she has to take medicine and go see the vet from time to time. We wish her well on that. But she also has a neighbor that lets her play in her yard, and there are baby bunnies there!

Baby bunnies! I wish I could visit her!

Anyway Molly is our newest famous hound!

August 25, 2011

Enough with the baths already

There have been two days of terrible occurrences. First we had to have baths last night. I hate baths. The soap gets in my eyes and the houndish smell I work so hard to maintain goes down the drain along with my hair.

What did I do to deserve this?

Then today dad took me to the vet (after leaving us in our crates while he met some company - he said it was to fix the air conditioner but the air felt pretty conditioned to me). The vet picked me up without even asking my permission and told me I was beautiful - well thanks but kindly keep your hands to yourself mister! Then he stuck things in my ears and left. I investigated the room while he was gone, searching for a weapon of some sort or a possible escape route. He hit me in the behind with the door when he came back in and said I had infected ears. Then he washed my ears out. I hate that even more than baths, all that squishy stuff in my ears and the wetness and everything. To top it off he squirted medicine in them and told dad he would have to do that twice a day for the next week.

The next vet that touches me is going to get a very stern staredown.

August 23, 2011


It's been awhile since I had some good 'nip. I was having some pretty strong cravings the other day but my stash is away in the cupboard, much higher than I can jump. So I guess this video will have to suffice.

The fresh stuff is much better than the dried packaged stuff. At our old house we grew our own but this new place is different. Too many neighbors for that kind of thing. But look at that 'nip party - those guys are really having fun. Some of them are having a bad trip though - all that swatting and growling.

... wait did he say tomcat urine? Man I don't need to know these things!

August 21, 2011

Stupid TV Commercial Sunday # 25

Let me start off by telling you this: I am in a bad mood. All of us cats got stuffed into a dog crate today and carted off in the car. The dogs were in there too and crybaby Nibbler was freaking out whenever they would look at him. He got so worked up that he puked all over and when there are 5 cats in one crate and one of them pukes it's bathtime for everyone.

Stupid Nibbler. Stupid crate. Stupid car, I don't care if it is all for a good reason.

Speaking of stupidity...

Please... stop singing.

August 19, 2011

Famous Basset Hound Friday # 29

Well it is that time of the week again! Time to put your paws up and let them rest after a hard week of napping, chasing cats, and napping some more. Time to enjoy the weekend by napping in the yard and barking at the birds!

Time to enjoy Famous Basset Hound Friday! This week's famous hound is a very important basset spokeslady. Her name is Antigone Puppleupagus, and she is another well-known basset blogger.

This is Antigone

Layla and Breezy both came to us as adopted hounds, but I was bought as a puppy so I don't know how it feels to not ever be loved by someone. Antigone had a pretty hard life at first, she was in a puppy mill. Now at first a puppy mill sounded like a lot of fun - hundreds of bassets making puppies and playing with them - but mom and dad explained to me that no, puppy mills are where hounds get no love and barely any good food. All they do is make puppies that are then sold at pet stores and other places. Antigone has really bad teeth from her puppy mill days.

But then she was adopted! By a nice guy who got her from Guardian Angel Basset Rescue! In case you are new to our blog, GABR are the ones who put on the waddle every year! Oh and we are going again this year! We are making our costumes this weekend! It'll be great!

Anyway Antigone and her person got bored living in Chicago, where it snows all the time. So they got a little crazy and went on a bike ride. Now bike rides do not sound like as much fun as car rides, although any ride sounds good to me. But on a bike ride you have to sit in a weird little buggy thing and your human is outside it on a bike. Humans on bikes make me nervous, especially the noisy ones they call motorcycles - I always growl at them to let them know not to mess with me. So Antigone is not only a pretty basset out for a good cause but she is very brave. I wouldn't trust dad on a bike.

So Antigone and her person rode their bike/buggy thing across the country to spread the word about basset rescues. And it worked! They got on like ten TV and radio shows. I wish we could get on a TV show and spread the word about Jowls of Fury, and how awesome we are (except the cats). But Antigone spread the good word and she eventually ended up in a place called Oregon. Dad says there are different squirrels there (we must go!) and also things called bears. Plus it rains a lot. Better then snow though I guess.

Antigone's blog is really interesting to read, so if you haven't checked it out you should click here. She and her person are writing a book (hmmm there's an idea...) that we will buy the instant it comes out. She is our newest famous hound!

August 18, 2011

Operation: Litterbox

Most of the rooms in this house we dogs own. I don't care what the cats tell you about Cathalla or anything else. When the gates come down the hounds come running. But there is one room that we never get to go in, and we get yelled at the moment we set one of our feet in the doorframe.

The laundry room.

Here is the laundry room

The laundry room is where mom and dad clean their clothes. While I do enjoy a good game of throw-the-sock, that alone does not make the laundry room so enticing. There are noisy machines in there that wash and dry clothes, and the floor is concrete (like our old basement, which was also a room where no dog was allowed to go). This is also the room with the cat food (up on a table, so we hounds cannot reach it).

Dumb ole cats

So this room has several mysteries. But it is well-guarded and difficult to enter, and most of what is in there is even harder to inspect because of how short a time you get to wander around. So we have limited opportunities even if we penetrate the laundry room's main defense - a tied off door.

Basset scientists are hard at work to unravel this mystery

But the biggest reason we are interested in that room is this: litter boxes. The litter box is a mystery to me. Cats do their outside business there, even though they get to go outside every once in awhile. Now don't get me wrong - we certainly don't want the cats coming out and pooping in our yard, chasing our birds and squirrels, or meowing at our neighbors (we have our neighbors trained to run at the sound of our howls - they would probably think we had been put in our place by those dumb cats). I just wonder why they have to go in a box. Then mom yells at dad because he has forgotten to clean the boxes (there are 7 of them, including one that runs by itself sometimes).

A robot that cleans poop - cats are so spoiled and lazy

I have made a few clandestine entries into the laundry room when the tied-off door is open (I used to be small enough to squeeze through until I was caught and then the tied-off door got tighter). I took some basset samples from the litter boxes for the basset scientists but I got caught by mom and dad. Then they scruffed me and yelled at me and brushed my teeth. They said I was a bad dog. I tried explaining to them that it was all in the name of science but they were pretty ticked off. So I laid low in my crate and analyzed my basset spy techniques to improve my chances of getting in and out of the laundry room without being detected. They had soon forgotten about it and I got some belly rubs.

The laundry room is still a mystery, but we are learning things slowly. There is something called a 'water heater' in there - I think it has to do with when they give us baths. Re-entry has gotten pretty hard though - now they have the new gate that we can't knock over PLUS the tied-off door.

All this to guard a bunch of cat poop?

But I'll keep trying. After my nap.

August 14, 2011

Stupid TV Commercial Sunday # 24

Normally when I think of beaches, I think of huge, endless tracts of litter box material, warm days, a cool, soothing breeze, Beaker in her bikini, and all the shrimp I can eat. But this commercial has ruined my cat beach fantasy with six little words:

"You look like a beach angel."

Thanks, Travelocity. Your commercial where people who evidently suffered brain damage from travelling in the luggage compartment on the plane have come to my beach and infected it with their stupidity. And who is this Rodrigo? My beach only has room for one debonair male.

August 12, 2011

Famous Basset Hound Friday # 28

This week's famous hound has my hackles raised just a bit. I guess they were trying to be funny but I tell you it aggravates me some.

The hound's name is Humphrey. He is a pretty cool-looking hound, and he is just trying to do what all hounds should be able to do without having to put up with this kind of stupid silliness. But this guy Dale Sturtevant seems to think we are deserving of such hateful and obscene speech. If I were Humphrey I would flat basset myself to the full extent and then bite him when he tried to move me. And maybe fling a glob of spit up into his dumb face.

Who does this guy think he is? What a jerk.

August 9, 2011

The perils of cathood

I haven't written on this blog in quite awhile. The last time I did I was extolling the virtues of Cathalla. I haven't been able to take advantage of it for some time. It's been really hot lately, we knocked our water dish over the other night and I was pretty sure mom was going to kill Bunsen for it, the sink broke and we weren't allowed to explore the cabinets beneath, the dogs (especially stupid Breezy) keep chasing us, our dog cousins (Chopper and Aksel) chased us (and they are a lot bigger than the dogs that live here), we aren't allowed to go outside, and worst of all, I have cat bowel problems.

Don't laugh.

Cat bowel problems are not fun. I end up running for the litter box and sitting there for a long time before the problem goes away. I also end up having to take tons of different pills and medicine and eat all kinds of different food. It hasn't quite progressed to a vet visit yet - they took me there once and the vet told us to try different food and medicine - but I am getting the feeling it will turn into another vet visit soon. So I have been hiding beneath the bed a lot lately.

Kind of a boring post, I know. I will try and escape into the yard again and find an adventure for my next post!

August 5, 2011

Famous Basset Hound Friday # 27

First of all, I would like to say that it is raining here. It's about time! We've been living in an oven for the last month!

Second of all, I would like to take this opportunity to write my latest blog entry for Famous Basset Hound Friday! Dad and I had a long discussion about this one, and he wanted me to make sure and write this entry tastefully. He thinks it has a good chance of being a little too racy for our normal viewers.


Our famous hound this week is one of the luckiest hounds of all time. He was owned by none other than Marilyn Monroe, who is second only in attractiveness to my own personal favorite actress, Kirsten Dunst! His name was Hugo.

Lucky hound

Marilyn Monroe and Arthur Miller were the two humans lucky enough to have Hugo in their lives. I can't find much info about Hugo, but I am sure he had no small part in Marilyn's success (we hounds are known for our acting agent abilities). As we all know Marilyn Monroe is famous for that one picture where she walked over a grate and had her dress blown up around her ears.

You know, this one.

Well I think she may have had a little inspiration for this scene thanks to Hugo...

This kind of evidence is irrefutable

August 4, 2011

Little brat

So I see Nibbler has decided to share details of my personal life with the world at large.

He is a little brat. Also a hypocrite. See the video below, and keep in mind that he needs to have these baths regularly because he is too fat to bathe himself.

August 3, 2011

Weird Word Wednesday # 16

My triumphant return is at hand! This time, I am taking over something that can never be taken away from me!

Weird Word Wednesday!

Why can't it be taken away from me, you ask? Because I'm only going to do it once and then give it up. This sort of dedication is not to be had from a cat - especially one as important as me.

Anyway, this week's weird word is "dreadlocks". Dreadlocks are a hairstyle that humans have when they decide they want to be lazy and not clean themselves anymore. Growing hair that isn't brushed or cleaned tangles and gets all nappy, and for some reason is referred to as dreadlocks.

Now supposedly this has something to do with two words that were combined in the 1960's - dreads and locks - and that's why we have the word dreadlocks, which have little to do with nappy hair. To me it sounds more like human gibberish (you should hear them talk to the dogs). But dreadlocks aren't just limited to humans - my cat siblings Korbin and Beaker get them as well, because they no longer take the time to bathe themselves. This leads to mama having to brush them which makes them scream and howl, and leads to me rolling around laughing at them.

Time for someone to get shaved...