July 25, 2011

Rosco P. Puppyman - HOSA Dog

In a search across the interwebs the other day, I came across an organization called OSHA. Apparently this is a human organization devoted to workplace safety. After thoroughly reading their website, I decided that we needed a form of this in our home.

Hence I have developed my own workplace safety organization, with a few key improvements. Mine is called the Hound Occupational Safety Administration (HOSA). Adding the word "hound" has been proven by hound scientists to dramatically improve whatever thing you are trying to do.

I quickly decided that the most dangerous place in my house is the kitchen. Mama spends lots of time here (when she's home) and I felt I needed to do my duty to keep her safe. I placed myself in a key location in the kitchen, a couple inches from Mama's feet, and began my safety vigil. But before I did I made sure to have what every hound safety administrator needs: a cool costume.

Here is my cool costume.

At first the time passed slowly and I felt myself becoming very sleepy. I decided using my keen senses of hearing and smell, I could still monitor for safety hazards while taking a nap.

These days you have to multitask.

I was dreaming about bunnies when I heard it! *PLOP* The sirens were going off on red alert as I scrambled to keep Mama safe. I dashed to the scene of the problem, quickly gobbling up the safety hazard. Now keep in mind that to be a true HOSA hound dog, one must eat anything that hits the floor, even broccoli (which my sisters hate). It's a tough job but I am just the hound for the challenge. Could you imagine the dangers a piece of uneaten food could pose to Mama? She could slip and fall and hurt herself so badly she could no longer give belly rubs!

Now as all safety crusaders know, our work often goes unnoticed and unappreciated. I sacrifice many hours of my time keeping my family safe in the kitchen. What may you ask do I get in return? Well in this household, I get my tail stepped on, I get booted in the butt and told to move, and sometimes even gated out of the kitchen. Yesterday, the newest insult was Mama banishing me from the kitchen after "saving" her from some treacherous zucchini that fell on the floor. I rushed over to do my duty, quickly cleaning up the hazard, only to be rewarded by being chased out of the kitchen because Mama stepped in the puddle of slobber I left behind. I tried to explain that Daddy has yet to buy me a wet floor sign so that I can properly address the issue. However this under appreciation for my job will not keep me from my duties!

Well that's enough of my safety report for now. I must hurry back to the kitchen because Mama is cooking again and I heard something hit the floor.

Rosco P. Puppyman, HOSA dog to the rescue!


  1. Rosco, you da man! i wanna be a HOSA dog too. what do i gotta do to sign up?

  2. might be my most favorite post *LOL*