February 1, 2011

How to survive Snowpocalypse (and live to blog about it)

Hello readers, Layla here. Today we have had over 20 inches of snow fall on us. Now, being a Michigan basset hound, snow is no big deal to me. However, I have heard a lot of people whining and complaining about "Snowpocalypse".


We bassets are uniquely equipped to handle these kinds of situations, following a few simple rules. I'll share them with you!

1. Get lots of sleep - I can't stress this one enough! Too many hounds get ready to go out into the cold and don't think about how strenuous it can be.

See? This can wear a hound out quickly. Prepare for your adventure by sleeping more often than usual.

A good snuggle buddy helps

Especially if they make good pillows

Soft blankies are also important

2. Post lookouts - It's crucial to remain up to date on weather conditions. Make sure to give this job to someone sufficiently low on the totem pole.

These guys are perfect for the job

3. Check the weather often - You can only trust your idiot lookouts so far. At some point you have to do the job yourself. Be creative; take full advantage of the modern conveniences to maximize your napping/weather checking potential.

Weatherfreaks.com says another 15 inches by tonight...

4. Prepare your human for shoveling - Humans are notoriously slow and stupid to pick up on basset hound needs. They need some assistance in this category. Given how low we are to the ground, we need to have a path shoveled for us in snow this deep. But you can't just send them outside without the proper gear.

Make sure they put their feet in the right leg holes

Make sure their zippers are closed, they forget this part all the time

Yeah, I guess you're ready to go to work. Nice hat, by the way

You might want to give them some love in case they get lost and die

OK, now get out there and start shoveling

Remember: they're built to do the work, we're built to do the sleep

5. Regular exercise - For them, not you. If you let them get out of the habit of exercising they will get fat and lazy. If you are creative you can make it appear that you are 'playing' with them, so they enjoy it more.

6. Supervise them often and give them good instructions - An unsupervised human will inevitably get into trouble. If you don't watch them they will wander off into a pond and drown. They also tend to work better when you woof at them every so often, so keep an eye on them.

I think you missed a spot

Remember: supervision is best achieved from the floor

7. Know when to come inside

Ok I think you have this under control, I'll be inside by the furnace if you need me

Oh... right... we can't open doors

8. Yetis - They come out during blizzards. Be ready.

I'm ready for you Mr. Abominable


  1. This is hilarious! Love Mom

  2. We feel your pain. We are afraid our human dad plans on sleeping all day. I am not sure who will do our shoveling. Sniffs, The HoundDogs

  3. What an excellent primer, and not just for bassetts. This work has universal appeal. Do you have an agent yet? Jed suggests a quick e-publish and starting the book tours in Florida, then working our way across the South to Hawaii. Abby can take care of the contracts.

    Jed & Abby, Legal Beagle[mix] Extraordinaire

  4. Well I have often considered retiring from my full-time job as the official Holder Down of Couches Everywhere, but this is an important job. If I do get tired of it I will let you know and send a few of my manuscripts over!