Look guys I know the cats took over Jowls of Fury and tried to make it into one big catnip fest. I know they made fun of you, and I know that McBoobs lorded himself over all of us. I know he also drooled in your water dishes and got his fur all over your favorite stuff. It couldn't have been a pleasant time for you.
But we are all part of this house, could you please quit chasing us all over the place? Especially me? I didn't want to imprison you, I just wanted to have a room to myself so I could enjoy some good 'nip and sunshine. It isn't easy to do that when you have 150 pounds of floppy drooly basset hounds stampeding around you. I just thought he was going to lock the gate behind you like mom and dad usually do, I didn't know he was going to make himself cat warden or anything.
Maybe if you laid in the sunshine with us sometime you would understand. I know you like to do that, I see you on the porch all the time working on your tan. I could also show you how to roll in catnip... that always relaxes me, and the way you guys howl and carry on it sounds like you need to relax.
Seriously, you're chasing Nibbler so much he is losing some of his ample cat frame. If you keep chasing him he is going to start whining a lot more about it and I don't think I need that kind of downer.
Can't we all just get along?
Not cool man.