Just too tired!

We are officially just too tired to post.  It was a long day filled with great grandma's house, chasing kitties and car rides.  We shall return after some much needed beauty rest.

Rosco Puppyman, B.D.

 So this past weekend, Mama was sick again.  It seems like she is never well. It's always something with her. I have decided that, in addition to my HOSA dog duties, I have decided I will become Rosco Puppyman, Basset Doctor.  I hold a firm belief that any aliment Mama has can be cured by me.

Rosco Puppyman, B.D. here to cure what ails you

So I carefully crawled unto Mama's sick bed.

                                               

Do you feel better now that I'm here, Mama?

                                               

How about now?

No?  Let me get closer so I can work my basset side manner.

                                               

 How's that? Feel better now?

How about now?

Now?

                                               

Let Nurse Bunsen check my technique

Here rub my cheeks and chest. That will surely make you feel better.

 In the end, Mama said my basset side manner did not make her cold go away (and she said I was squishing her).  I think Mama isn't curable. It's time to send her to Dr. House from T.V.. He can fix everything!

Aliens!

Recently the cat has been allowed outside the house.  I find this to be terribly unfair.  He gets to poop in litter boxes and probably gets to roll in it too.  If I so much as look in the direction of the litter boxes when we go through the mud room on our way outside, I get hollered at and my basset derriere gets a gentle nudge from daddy's boot.  He also gets to poop outside.  I am only allowed to poop outside.  And he is such a fast little twerp!  I try to chase him and keep him from getting away but he can squeeze through small spaces because he is a cat, and cats are all little and weak and stupid.

But that is not the point of this blog.  Today we saw aliens!  They were up on the hill, where we are not allowed to go.  And they are weird-looking aliens too, not the big-headed kind.  These aliens walked on four feet and one of them had horns on its head.  I watched them at first and then when I saw them move towards the house I started barking like crazy to make sure mama and daddy could come out and fight them.  Or maybe sacrifice a cat or two in hopes they (the aliens) would go away (and take the cats with them).

Well daddy eventually came out, and here is what happened...

So I think daddy has been brainwashed by the aliens.  Who calls aliens 'dear'?  They have come to eat our brains or something they are not dears!  And obviously they are worth points but I think a weird alien with horns is worth more than 4 points!  I will have to watch him closely to make sure he doesn't try and make me into an alien hound slave.

Funny Photo Friday

So my new Mama thinks it's funny to take pictures of me when I least expect it.  Here is her latest snap shot of me.  As you can tell, I look less than thrilled.  All I was really doing was licking my chops.

"I'm one bad azz Beau Dog. Now excuse me while I go take a nap."

She thinks this is a funny caption.  I, however, don't feel that it lives up to my Dignified Southern Basset Gentleman status.  What am I going to do with this woman?

The worst part about summer is the flies

Summer is not very much fun when you get right down to it.  Yes it is warmer and you don't have to worry about several feet of snow, and yes the dog park is easier to get to, and yes there are things like hamburger cookouts and visits to grandma's houses.  But there are bad parts too.  It gets really hot sometimes, and we can't go to the dog park as much when it gets really hot because Beau is old and daddy is lazy.  We don't even get to stay out in the yard very much.  And hamburger cookouts are more fun for people than for hounds because we don't get to eat as much as we would like.

But the worst part about summer is the flies.  They are stupid little bugs that fly into the house when the door opens and they land on your food and buzz against the window.  I would really like to eat them but they are too fast to catch usually.  And there are tons of them out there!  I don't know if they breed better in the heat or what but every time you go out they buzz around your head to remind you they are still there.

I hate you guys

But flies outside are nothing compared to flies inside.  Inside they draw the attention of mama and daddy, and they try to kill them.  They are faster than I am but they use a rolled up newspaper to squash them.  Rolled up newspapers are also used on bad dogs.  I wasn't a bad dog but they got used on me before I came to live with mama and daddy, and it reminds me of life before them.  I don't like those reminders.  It makes me shake and worry that I am going to get swatted instead of the flies.  I know they aren't going to swat me - at least I hope they don't (sometimes I get my rump swatted when I am being stubborn but it is not mean and they just use their hands instead of a rolled up newspaper) - but still it just makes me scared.  So, I am hoping the flies all go away soon.

No thanks

We apologize for the blogging delay

It has been a long time since we blogged!  Like months!  So much has happened!  We feel bad about keeping our audience under suspense, but we have been doing important work!

These couches don't get slept on by themselves

But the biggest news lately has been the heat.  The heat is ridiculous!  It's so hot that we need to take extra naps.  We used to go to the dog park (our favorite place in the world besides Grandma's and the ice cream store and the pet store) all the time, but since it has been so hot we can't go because Beau has a hard time breathing.

We're glad we don't live with you too, random rude lady

We did go visit Grandma again this year, so Beau could meet her.  Let me just say that the car is way too crowded with 4 hounds on a 10-hour trip.  They either need to get us a bigger car or leave the cats behind.  I like the second idea better.  We also had to stay out of the yard for a long time for grass to grow, but then it got so hot all the grass died so it didn't matter anyway.  We have been getting lots of visits from our friend Anita lately because daddy and mama are both working now and they can't always come home to let us out of our crates.

There's more news than that but this heat has already worn my blogging basset self out.  But never fear we will be updating Jowls of Fury way more often now, trust us!

We have not dropped off the face of the Earth

The secretarial staff of Jowls of Fury has just been really busy - preparing and editing manuscripts, trying to get a garden to grow, and catching up with all the work that we have been neglecting.  We promise to try and blog more!

We're Back!

And we're back! I must apologize for our long blogging absence from JoF. First Mama was sick. Then Daddy got sick, so the basset nursing brigade was in full effect. Let me tell you taking care of sick parents is hard, hard work. So much so that we had to abstain from all our normal basset activities such as napping and blogging to take care of the sickies. Thankfully they are all better now.

As a reward for all our hard work, Mama and Daddy gave us a really nice reward: a BIG new couch to lay on. It's so big that all of us can lay on the couch and still have room for Mama and Daddy (and even a couple cats)

3 out of 4 hounds approve!

Breezy was off in the other room preparing her dog fort. At this time, I'm not at liberty to discuss the top secret mission she may be on.

This is DOG FORT!

Stupid TV Commercial # 43

We have another Easter entry in our stupid TV commercial category.  We have already commented on the fact that rabbits do not make chicken noises.  Well it appears that another confectionary CEO does not understand rabbit biology.  The good folks at Reese's put out an ad where a chocolate rabbit (which isn't even ALIVE) and a jar of peanut butter (which isn't even the FACSIMILE OF A LIVING CREATURE) 'get it on' to create the offspring of their sugary union - a chocolate egg.  A CHOCOLATE EGG.  Neither of those two 'parents' have anything to do with eggs.  What is the matter with commercials these days?

Stupid vacuum cleaner

So the other day mama got into one of her clean freakout modes. These happen every so often and when they do watch out. Nothing is safe, especially beautiful full-figured lady hounds who might happen to be a bit dirty because they don't live the pampered lifestyle of little foo-foo dogs.

To put it mildly we got baths. I was not very happy about this. Then she wanted to vacuum, at which point I knew she was really trying to get under my skin. I don't like vacuums. Well I was not sad to see the old vacuum finally break. Mama said a few choice words and made daddy throw it away.

This is a good place for vacuums

Well she wasted no time going out and getting a new one. I really wanted to go roll in the yard for that but daddy has been trying to grow grass and for some reason he won't let us out there, now we have to do our business in the front yard in a tiny little fenced in area. All the neighbor dogs can see us too, including the new dog across the street who is very yappy.

Beau is too old to understand why we hate the vacuum so much

Worst of all this vacuum is really good at picking up fur, so it makes it even harder for us to keep a thick sheet of hound fur on all the furniture and rugs. We try and do our best but it just isn't enough. Watch the video below and you will see what we have to put up with.

Urg

See now we will have to start all over again from square one. I let Rosco take the first crack at it, I really need a good long while to get all riled up and do my rolling and growling.

Take it away, Rosco