An actual post by an actual person

Hello to all of our readers.  Rosco wanted me to extend his apologies for not having a Famous Basset Hound Friday ready for tonight.  He and the other hounds are busy working on "something big".  We're still waiting on more basset GQ and bikini entries, so maybe that's what they're up to.  Either way, he asked if I could fill in for him tonight.  I said sure, it's not like I don't already take care of your every other whim.  At that point he snorted at me and wandered off.

So I decided to write a little bit about my job tonight.  I work at a wetland area in Missouri, and a big part of my job in the fall is administering our waterfowl hunting program.  That mostly involves paying close attention to water levels in our different pools, and adjusting our pumps and gates so that water isn't either too deep or too shallow.  The water levels are really important for migrating birds like ducks, geese, swans, shorebirds, wading birds, etc.  The food they require during their migration becomes unavailable if the water is too shallow or too deep.  Another big component of the hunt program is doing the daily draw, which focuses on hunter education, safety, and maximizing the number of hunters we can get out on our area while still paying attention to the physiological needs of migrating birds.  Those things are a fun part of the job, but the best part is contributing to an annual survey of the migrating waterfowl each year.  We are part of the Mallard Migration Network, a group of state and federal landowners who estimate the number of mallards we see each week and use it to provide an animated map.  You'll see it on the top right part of the blog.

We're interested in the migration status of mallards because they are numerous, and are a common target of a lot of our waterfowl hunters.  They are also a good gauge of waterfowl migration in general - there are lots of species of waterfowl, and monitoring them all across the North American continent is unrealistic - so we need a "yardstick" to go off of.

We see a lot of these on our area

So each week I go out and get a rough estimate of the number of mallards I see on the area I manage.  Then I go back to my office and estimate (on a 1-10 scale) how close I think we are to "peak" migration - the most mallards we're going to see that year.  Ducks start to migrate when the weather gets cold, so they will be coming down from places like Canada and the Dakotas each fall, and then they swing back up north once the winter is over to lay eggs and hatch their young.  So I will get to do this all over again next spring.  In the meantime, my weekly number update is one of several hundred locations that contribute to making that neat little animated map you see up there.  It will continue to get updated as the migration continues, and I'll leave it up there for awhile so you can check it out.

Anyway that's my job - part-time official counter of ducks.

Stupid TV Commercial Sunday # 31

I don't know how they expect me to get my beauty rest anymore. Lately when they fall asleep in my big bed and I try to lay on their heads like I usually do they launch me off. It isn't like I can sleep on the couch back like I want to because I get mauled by sloppy-jowled hounds every time a leaf blows by the window, thinking they are going to defend the house against armed intruders. Then today the laundry room had a flood and they were stomping around yelling about it and running vacuum cleaners.

Oh well, this gave me lots of time to watch TV and find another stupid commercial for you all. This week's stupid commercial fits the bill perfectly.

This dog Buster seems to think he is some hot-shot businessman, and he talks down to pet food salesman. First of all, all dogs are too stupid to hold an office this high. Do a web search for 'business dog' and you get results like this:

What are you in a frat house? Roll your sleeves down you slob!

I guess if you want to run your company like some kind of goat rodeo that will work. Myself I prefer a company whose upper echelon actually behaves like they didn't just fall off a turnip wagon.

While dumb dogs are licking their behinds cats are doing important work

So try as he might, "Buster" isn't fooling anybody. Dogs ought to stick to chasing balls and panting - leave important things like running the world to the experts. If you disagree, you might as well continue shopping at Petco.

Famous Basset Hound Friday # 38

I feel so ashamed to be a blogging hound right now. There are things that are forgivable and there are things that we ought to be put in our crates for, and this is one of those second things.

I am late for Famous Basset Hound Friday. Again. It's actually Saturday night and here we are blogging about yesterday's news.

Shameful.

But it isn't my fault! I had the words all ordered up in my hound mind last night, and I was yelping and whimpering at daddy, saying 'Hey get your lazy butt off the couch! Our fans await! Well my fans await, nobody really cares about you on this blog anyway! You are just a comedic foil!'

By the way a comedic foil is someone who is always the butt of the joke. Sounds like daddy to me!

Anyway, you can guess from us not blogging last night what daddy did instead of helping me. He slept on the couch with Layla. So here we are one night late and I have to apologize because our fans were probably disappointed. So to make it up let me introduce this week's famous hound. He is a good one.

His name is wworm! Well that is his online name, I suspect he may have a different real name, sort of like how sometimes famous authors use different names when they want to write a book. Either way wworm is definitely a famous hound. He has his own blog just like me, and he is very popular at the basset hound online forum that we belong to called Cyberhound. wworm is also a good flirter and all the girl hounds really like him. To be honest I'm kind of jealous. Mom and dad say I am a handsome hound but there really aren't any hound ladies around to be friends with. He also won a drawing contest and got his picture drawn by a very skilled artist. All my pictures are just the regular camera kind. wworm also gets dressed up for Howl-o-ween like we do.

wworm needs to eat more he's all skin and bones! Comedy is in my bones!

wworm also had to take swimming lessons and he had a birthday party and everything. So wworm is obviously a famous hound!

Our local dog park

Hello again faithful readers. Sorry for the constant delays in our blogging. With such big paws we do not type very well and daddy has to transcribe things for us. This has slowed down considerably because of duck season. As I understand it rabbit season is better, but we are not rabbit hunting dogs (at least not with guns - we sure do like to chase them though).

Anyway, awhile back I promised you I would write about our dog park. We have only been there a couple of times but it is one of the greatest places in the world. It's called Twin Lakes and there are lots of dogs that go there. We haven't met another hound there yet but maybe someday. But there are plenty of other kinds of lesser dogs, some of them even worth playing with. The park is completely fenced in so mom and dad feel comfortable letting us run around off-leash (well except Breezy, she doesn't always get along with other dogs and she is a big chicken so she has to stay close with them). This allows us to explore and smell things and contemplate the lake.

The viewing pad is really nice

Usually there are lots of dogs there, but the day we went was kind of cloudy so the fair-weather dogs stayed home. This didn't bother me too much, because my hind end did not get sniffed quite so much. But the few dogs who were there were all gigantic next to me. This one dog really liked me but his hair was too long - I am not into the shaggy dog type. Give me a handsome clean-cut hound any day.

Rosco trying to be a good brother and guard me from other boy dogs

My lord that is a tall hound

So that is a quick introduction to our dog park. We did get to meet some shorter dogs - one of them was like our buddy Scooter, a short little dachshund. These dogs make me feel a little taller.

Miss Mayzie's Adoption Week

Hello readers, Korbin here. I have decided to take another shot at blogging after I overheard the buzz on Miss Mayzie's Adoption Week. This is an important project even if it is being spearheaded by a dog (you can find all the details here). Basically, she is trying to promote pet adoption by asking all of us bloggers to showcase an animal who needs a forever home. If we win a random draw at the end of the adoption week, she will donate$100 to whatever rescue organization we want.

So after doing a little searching online, I decided to showcase the coolest Maine Coon I could find in our area. He has a pretty awesome name too - his name is "After Midnight", and you can read all about him here. His profile is short on details but I decided to pick him because:

a. he has such an awesome name

b. he obviously enjoys his 'nip - "After Midnight" was a song that was performed by a couple of humans like Clapton and Marley, and they certainly enjoyed their version of 'nip

c. his picture is sideways. He clearly marches to the tune of a different drummer

Non-conformist Maine coons rule

So if you are thinking about getting yourself a cool cat then look no further. Also check out the dog's blog to see who else is posting pets that are up for adoption.

Peace out.

Famous Basset Hound Friday # 37

Man what a busy week. Well for mom and dad that is. We mostly slept in our crates, chased each other around the house, barked at the neighbors and their dumb cat, and ate our food. But dad and mom are busy working. Dad keeps getting ready for waterfowl season, whatever that is. It means he is going to be getting up really early for the next 60 days to take care of duck hunters.

Anyway. We got some rain this week and that was OK - it made the yard all muddy which was fun to dig in, but that only got us in trouble. We also got in trouble for doing a little counter reconnaissance while mama made cookies today. It's really unfair to make such good-smelling stuff and then not let us hounds sniff it and eat some. But as soon as I came into the kitchen I got hollered at and sent to the other room. I even got sent to my crate today for investigating the litter box room and collecting more samples!

Oh well. At least I have Famous Basset Hound Friday today! And this week's hound is a newcomer on the famous hound scene! We found out about her while Google searching each of our names to see if there were famous hounds with our names, and sure enough we found one. This week's famous hound is "Layla Jane Basset Extraordinaire".

The hound of the moment

Layla Jane is a hound who promotes spay and neuter awareness. This is important because it keeps extra basset puppies from being born and not having good homes. Layla Jane is also a hound who likes to eat bugs like our own Layla. We even call our Layla 'Layla Jane' sometimes, but usually when she is misbehaving or trying to eat cookies from the counter. Layla Jane Basset Extraordinaire is also sassy like our Layla Jane - her latest Facebook post says 'Basset hounds don't have to squat when they pee... bonus!'. Well it's true, but I like to squat when I pee so I can take off like a rocket when I'm done. That's just how I roll.

I should also mention that when you search for 'Rosco' you get TONS of famous basset pictures, but it's actually Flash. Rosco was the human's name. Flash is the important one. There is another famous Rosco but he spells his name differently than me. But that is for another week.

So that's our latest famous hound!

Weird Word Wednesday # 18

This week's weird word is used every once in awhile on TV. It was used more often in the past but I hear it just enough to irritate me. It's the phrase "The jig is up", and it's used to mean something like "Now the truth about my trickery has been discovered so I can't pretend anymore".

So a jig is something people use to make boats. It also has something to do with saws and puzzles. None of these meanings make any sense in terms of how they use that phrase. The saw is up? The puzzle is up? The boat is up? What the heck do any of those things have to do with discovered lies?

Honestly, this is the race that feeds us cats. It's a miracle we all don't starve.

Stupid TV Commercial # 31

Boy, this week's commercial is dumb. It's trying to get you to sign up for Dish TV service. Now at first that sounded alright to me, because dishes sometimes have moist food on them or milk in them. TV and a nice snack would be alright - but I guess it has more to do with the dish they put on top of your house to get the signal for the TV. We have one of those in our yard but we have DirecTV instead. Anyway, this Dish commercial has something to do with cowboys and dumb hats - the link between that and television provider service is lost on me.

Now I am not much for worrying about who provides what in this house, except for litter box service and food detail. But I do have to wonder why a bunch of cowboys with encephalic hats and localized excess testosterone are trying to convince me to get this TV service by using a company that has gone bankrupt. Then again, cowboy hats don't really mean marketing genius...

Famous Basset Hound Friday # 36

First of all: Happy Howl-o-ween! Second of all: it's another Famous Basset Hound Friday! Third of all: the weather has gotten colder here, and it's time for my winter coat to grow in!

But enough of the pleasantries. This week's hound is famous for her awesome greeting card, and it is Howl-o-ween themed to boot! She's also famous because she got some peanut butter to get her picture taken. Her name is Stinkerbell and she is only pretending to be a poodle - there are no basset costumes that are that good.

I wish we had peanut butter pumpkins here

Stinkerbell was a winner in Hallmark Greeting Card's contest, along with some other cool dogs and a few rotten cats. You can see her winning page here. We did not even know about this contest, because mom and dad don't ever take us anywhere on car rides anymore. The only reason we found out is because our Aunt Melissa sent us this card along with greetings from our puppy cousins Aksel and Chopper. Also I guess we have cat cousins over there but we have never met them - probably for the best, as most cats are rotten. But Aunt Melissa is very nice and she loves on us and tells us how beautiful we are. Chopper and Aksel are a bit too rough sometimes, but that's only because they are about twice as big as me. If they were my size I would totally kick their butts!

Anyway Stinkerbell is our newest famous hound!

Competition

Being the newest dog is nice - you get all the newest beds and toys and food bowls - and so I am always worried that mom and dad will get another hound and I won't be the newest anymore. As it is I have to always push my way between them and Rosco or Layla (even the cats sometimes!) to make sure I get all the attention.

So you can imagine my concern when they opened up a mail package the other day and said 'Oh a basset hound!' What? They are sending new bassets in the mail now? To MY house? Worst of all it was from Grandma! Let her house have a new basset! Three hounds is too much here already we don't need four! Mama has always said she wants to adopt more hounds that need homes anyway but I say three is a crowd!

Even WORSE, this hound howls like me! And it sings too! I can't sing! I howl better than Rosco and I make more noise PLUS I am the tallest. But singing is a trick I haven't learned yet. This new hound is going to take my place as the newest, most-talented hound! He even sounds all sad and whiney!  That will surely make mama want to spend more time with him.  He's got to go!

Rosco and Layla act like they don't even care!