November 30, 2011

Weird Word Wednesday # 19

How was everyone's Thanksgiving? We enjoyed a nice, quiet weekend to ourselves, with no yapping dogs or arguing family. Then the dogs came back and things went back to normal.

Anyway, here's the newest Weird Word. This week's (month's - so sue me) word is 'behooves'. It is used by people who want to sound intelligent as a way to say 'it is good for you to do this'. Used in a proper sentence, one might say 'It behooves the cat owner to feed them regularly, as to do otherwise invites certain death - and we don't mean the cat'.

But what does the word really mean? It sounds like it means 'the person who does this will get a nice set of hooves'. Sort of like 'bestow' or 'bequeath'. Come to think of it, those are all pretty weird words. Any way you slice it, I think I will stick to my paws.

Green Acres - 03x03 Love Comes to Arnold Ziffel
Leave the cross-species intermingling to the experts

November 28, 2011

I wish I had longer legs

My brother and sister are lucky. Breezy has really long legs and it allows her to jump on things I cannot hope to jump on, like the bed or the armrest on the furniture. This lets her make the most of her snuggle time with mama and daddy. I say this makes her less of a hound but she doesn't seem to care when she is snuggling.

She doesn't seem to care at all...

Rosco isn't any taller than me but he has more of a spring in his step because he is such a lightweight. He is able to stand on his hind legs for longer than me because he is so small. If I try and do that my basset bulk gets to be too much for me. Now don't get me wrong - I have really strong legs - but my beautiful basset frame is so sturdy that it is not made to be held up by only two legs. This allows him to counter surf (which he gets in trouble for) and help be a co-pilot when we go for car rides.

This makes me really jealous.

I just wish I had longer legs so I could get on the bed or be a co-pilot. It is embarrassing to have to get help up on the couch or the bed. I want to do it all by myself. But we all have our crosses to bear, whatever that means.

November 25, 2011

Evil Uncle Casey

Well what an interesting few days it has been. We got up very early the other day and went for a car ride. It was pretty long, and we went to grandma's house. Only this time it was my other grandma, and her house is different from the grandma's house I am used to. The first thing I smelled when I came in were cats, and they are all hiding upstairs still. I think this is pretty cowardly of them, they should come down and meet their hound cousins. Daddy tells me there are five of them here, just like at our house. But these cats are all like Nibbler, they are afraid of us hounds, even though we just want to chase them and pin them down and sniff and lick them.

Then later that day my puppy cousins Aksel and Chopper came over. Now as you may remember they can be kind of mean to me, but this time after a short round of howling they remembered their manners and were actually trying to play with us. Chopper likes our toy duckies and piggies and we all played chase and fetch and chew-squeak-squeak. Aksel though... well I guess Aksel is afraid of us for some reason because he always growls and shows his teeth when he gets near us. He has to wear a collar that pokes him in the neck to remind him we are peace-loving hounds. We all went on a walk together yesterday and he was fine outside, it's just inside that he is afraid of us. Hopefully he will get over that.

Then last night I met another uncle I have. His name is Casey and he seemed like a nice enough uncle at first. We all had Thanksgiving turkey and pie and other goodies and then we fell asleep on the couch watching football. I got up this morning and did my morning necessaries like eating and pooping, and then wanted to get up on the couch to have my morning nap, when I discovered this.

What is the meaning of this?

... what is going on here? Is this how Uncle Casey treats guests in grandma's house? Rosco, Layla and I got up and gave him the customary basset hound nudge, as if to say "Hey get your lazy butt off the couch, that is our job". He responded by petting us and pushing us down onto the floor. Well! Of all the nerve!

We are guests here, so we tried not to get too upset about this. Rosco tried to jump up on him, thinking perhaps he wanted us to snuggle with him some. We just met and all so I was not too comfortable with the idea. Well as you can see below Rosco didn't get to stay up there very long, he got pushed onto the floor again.

So much for that approach.

So at that point Uncle Casey had to get up and do his morning necessaries, and we took that as our sign that he was up and was going to be doing the important human things that humans normally do. I saw an opportunity to inherit a warm spot and I wasted no time.

There, that's better.

But I was wrong. Uncle Casey came back and kicked us off the couch so he could lay down and play video games. I gave up at that point, and then I remembered something I had been hearing on TV lately - it is Black Friday, the day that evil-hearted people spend the entire day pursuing unimportant things and ignoring the needs of basset hounds. Thus I have seen the true nature of my Evil Uncle Casey.

I guess this is how we treat basset hounds when we are Evil Uncle Casey.

November 19, 2011

HOSA public service announcement

Greetings readers! Rosco here, bringing you an important holiday update! Now as you know, the holiday of Tanksgiving is coming up. At first I thought 'What a strange holiday - giving each other tanks.' Then daddy explained it was actually a day to be thankful for what we have. It is also a day to eat a ton of food and sleep a lot. Or, as we bassets call it, Wednesday.

But the thankful part got me thinking about what I am thankful for. I am really thankful for my mama, daddy, sisters, cousins, grandmas, toys, treats, food dish, and bed. I am also thankful for the dog park, walks, car rides, and belly rubs. Most of those things are pretty safe but mama and daddy are in constant danger - and that's where the Hound Dog Safety Administration (HOSA) comes in.

Now your humans face multiple threats throughout the day. They include slipping and falling, but a good HOSA dog is ready to thwart these threats at a moment's notice.

Humans trip all the time

They also fall a lot too

Slippery floors are their worst enemy; they never bother to lick up puddles

So the only real option us HOSA dogs have is to be vigilant and be ready to act when necessary. I have included a few updates to these signs below, to give you some ideas on what to watch out for.

Well if you won't clean the puddles up I guess we have to catch you...

Us hounds have sturdy backs to catch your uncoordinated bodies!

Never fear human, HOSA dog is here!

But one of the most important things we can do is help a human who is choking on their food. Now a good HOSA dog needs to understand what basset safety researchers refer to as the 'Houndlich Maneuver'. Without this breakthrough technique, lots of hounds would have no way to save their humans. But with this simple action, we can help our people make it through the traumatic experience that is choking on food. The picture below shows you exactly what to do!

See it is that simple! Go HOSA dogs!

November 18, 2011

An actual post by an actual person

Hello to all of our readers.  Rosco wanted me to extend his apologies for not having a Famous Basset Hound Friday ready for tonight.  He and the other hounds are busy working on "something big".  We're still waiting on more basset GQ and bikini entries, so maybe that's what they're up to.  Either way, he asked if I could fill in for him tonight.  I said sure, it's not like I don't already take care of your every other whim.  At that point he snorted at me and wandered off.

So I decided to write a little bit about my job tonight.  I work at a wetland area in Missouri, and a big part of my job in the fall is administering our waterfowl hunting program.  That mostly involves paying close attention to water levels in our different pools, and adjusting our pumps and gates so that water isn't either too deep or too shallow.  The water levels are really important for migrating birds like ducks, geese, swans, shorebirds, wading birds, etc.  The food they require during their migration becomes unavailable if the water is too shallow or too deep.  Another big component of the hunt program is doing the daily draw, which focuses on hunter education, safety, and maximizing the number of hunters we can get out on our area while still paying attention to the physiological needs of migrating birds.  Those things are a fun part of the job, but the best part is contributing to an annual survey of the migrating waterfowl each year.  We are part of the Mallard Migration Network, a group of state and federal landowners who estimate the number of mallards we see each week and use it to provide an animated map.  You'll see it on the top right part of the blog.

We're interested in the migration status of mallards because they are numerous, and are a common target of a lot of our waterfowl hunters.  They are also a good gauge of waterfowl migration in general - there are lots of species of waterfowl, and monitoring them all across the North American continent is unrealistic - so we need a "yardstick" to go off of.

We see a lot of these on our area

So each week I go out and get a rough estimate of the number of mallards I see on the area I manage.  Then I go back to my office and estimate (on a 1-10 scale) how close I think we are to "peak" migration - the most mallards we're going to see that year.  Ducks start to migrate when the weather gets cold, so they will be coming down from places like Canada and the Dakotas each fall, and then they swing back up north once the winter is over to lay eggs and hatch their young.  So I will get to do this all over again next spring.  In the meantime, my weekly number update is one of several hundred locations that contribute to making that neat little animated map you see up there.  It will continue to get updated as the migration continues, and I'll leave it up there for awhile so you can check it out.

Anyway that's my job - part-time official counter of ducks.

November 13, 2011

Stupid TV Commercial Sunday # 31

I don't know how they expect me to get my beauty rest anymore. Lately when they fall asleep in my big bed and I try to lay on their heads like I usually do they launch me off. It isn't like I can sleep on the couch back like I want to because I get mauled by sloppy-jowled hounds every time a leaf blows by the window, thinking they are going to defend the house against armed intruders. Then today the laundry room had a flood and they were stomping around yelling about it and running vacuum cleaners.

Oh well, this gave me lots of time to watch TV and find another stupid commercial for you all. This week's stupid commercial fits the bill perfectly.

This dog Buster seems to think he is some hot-shot businessman, and he talks down to pet food salesman. First of all, all dogs are too stupid to hold an office this high. Do a web search for 'business dog' and you get results like this:

What are you in a frat house? Roll your sleeves down you slob!

I guess if you want to run your company like some kind of goat rodeo that will work. Myself I prefer a company whose upper echelon actually behaves like they didn't just fall off a turnip wagon.

While dumb dogs are licking their behinds cats are doing important work

So try as he might, "Buster" isn't fooling anybody. Dogs ought to stick to chasing balls and panting - leave important things like running the world to the experts. If you disagree, you might as well continue shopping at Petco.

November 12, 2011

Famous Basset Hound Friday # 38

I feel so ashamed to be a blogging hound right now. There are things that are forgivable and there are things that we ought to be put in our crates for, and this is one of those second things.

I am late for Famous Basset Hound Friday. Again. It's actually Saturday night and here we are blogging about yesterday's news.


But it isn't my fault! I had the words all ordered up in my hound mind last night, and I was yelping and whimpering at daddy, saying 'Hey get your lazy butt off the couch! Our fans await! Well my fans await, nobody really cares about you on this blog anyway! You are just a comedic foil!'

By the way a comedic foil is someone who is always the butt of the joke. Sounds like daddy to me!

Anyway, you can guess from us not blogging last night what daddy did instead of helping me. He slept on the couch with Layla. So here we are one night late and I have to apologize because our fans were probably disappointed. So to make it up let me introduce this week's famous hound. He is a good one.

His name is wworm! Well that is his online name, I suspect he may have a different real name, sort of like how sometimes famous authors use different names when they want to write a book. Either way wworm is definitely a famous hound. He has his own blog just like me, and he is very popular at the basset hound online forum that we belong to called Cyberhound. wworm is also a good flirter and all the girl hounds really like him. To be honest I'm kind of jealous. Mom and dad say I am a handsome hound but there really aren't any hound ladies around to be friends with. He also won a drawing contest and got his picture drawn by a very skilled artist. All my pictures are just the regular camera kind. wworm also gets dressed up for Howl-o-ween like we do.

wworm needs to eat more he's all skin and bones! Comedy is in my bones!

wworm also had to take swimming lessons and he had a birthday party and everything. So wworm is obviously a famous hound!

November 10, 2011

Our local dog park

Hello again faithful readers. Sorry for the constant delays in our blogging. With such big paws we do not type very well and daddy has to transcribe things for us. This has slowed down considerably because of duck season. As I understand it rabbit season is better, but we are not rabbit hunting dogs (at least not with guns - we sure do like to chase them though).

Anyway, awhile back I promised you I would write about our dog park. We have only been there a couple of times but it is one of the greatest places in the world. It's called Twin Lakes and there are lots of dogs that go there. We haven't met another hound there yet but maybe someday. But there are plenty of other kinds of lesser dogs, some of them even worth playing with. The park is completely fenced in so mom and dad feel comfortable letting us run around off-leash (well except Breezy, she doesn't always get along with other dogs and she is a big chicken so she has to stay close with them). This allows us to explore and smell things and contemplate the lake.

The viewing pad is really nice

Usually there are lots of dogs there, but the day we went was kind of cloudy so the fair-weather dogs stayed home. This didn't bother me too much, because my hind end did not get sniffed quite so much. But the few dogs who were there were all gigantic next to me. This one dog really liked me but his hair was too long - I am not into the shaggy dog type. Give me a handsome clean-cut hound any day.

Rosco trying to be a good brother and guard me from other boy dogs

My lord that is a tall hound

So that is a quick introduction to our dog park. We did get to meet some shorter dogs - one of them was like our buddy Scooter, a short little dachshund. These dogs make me feel a little taller.

November 8, 2011

Miss Mayzie's Adoption Week

Hello readers, Korbin here. I have decided to take another shot at blogging after I overheard the buzz on Miss Mayzie's Adoption Week. This is an important project even if it is being spearheaded by a dog (you can find all the details here). Basically, she is trying to promote pet adoption by asking all of us bloggers to showcase an animal who needs a forever home. If we win a random draw at the end of the adoption week, she will donate$100 to whatever rescue organization we want.

So after doing a little searching online, I decided to showcase the coolest Maine Coon I could find in our area. He has a pretty awesome name too - his name is "After Midnight", and you can read all about him here. His profile is short on details but I decided to pick him because:

a. he has such an awesome name

b. he obviously enjoys his 'nip - "After Midnight" was a song that was performed by a couple of humans like Clapton and Marley, and they certainly enjoyed their version of 'nip

c. his picture is sideways. He clearly marches to the tune of a different drummer

After Midnight: Maine Coon, Cat; Lee's Summit, MO
Non-conformist Maine coons rule

So if you are thinking about getting yourself a cool cat then look no further. Also check out the dog's blog to see who else is posting pets that are up for adoption.

Peace out.

November 4, 2011

Famous Basset Hound Friday # 37

Man what a busy week. Well for mom and dad that is. We mostly slept in our crates, chased each other around the house, barked at the neighbors and their dumb cat, and ate our food. But dad and mom are busy working. Dad keeps getting ready for waterfowl season, whatever that is. It means he is going to be getting up really early for the next 60 days to take care of duck hunters.

Anyway. We got some rain this week and that was OK - it made the yard all muddy which was fun to dig in, but that only got us in trouble. We also got in trouble for doing a little counter reconnaissance while mama made cookies today. It's really unfair to make such good-smelling stuff and then not let us hounds sniff it and eat some. But as soon as I came into the kitchen I got hollered at and sent to the other room. I even got sent to my crate today for investigating the litter box room and collecting more samples!

Oh well. At least I have Famous Basset Hound Friday today! And this week's hound is a newcomer on the famous hound scene! We found out about her while Google searching each of our names to see if there were famous hounds with our names, and sure enough we found one. This week's famous hound is "Layla Jane Basset Extraordinaire".

The hound of the moment

Layla Jane is a hound who promotes spay and neuter awareness. This is important because it keeps extra basset puppies from being born and not having good homes. Layla Jane is also a hound who likes to eat bugs like our own Layla. We even call our Layla 'Layla Jane' sometimes, but usually when she is misbehaving or trying to eat cookies from the counter. Layla Jane Basset Extraordinaire is also sassy like our Layla Jane - her latest Facebook post says 'Basset hounds don't have to squat when they pee... bonus!'. Well it's true, but I like to squat when I pee so I can take off like a rocket when I'm done. That's just how I roll.

I should also mention that when you search for 'Rosco' you get TONS of famous basset pictures, but it's actually Flash. Rosco was the human's name. Flash is the important one. There is another famous Rosco but he spells his name differently than me. But that is for another week.

So that's our latest famous hound!

November 1, 2011

Weird Word Wednesday # 18

This week's weird word is used every once in awhile on TV. It was used more often in the past but I hear it just enough to irritate me. It's the phrase "The jig is up", and it's used to mean something like "Now the truth about my trickery has been discovered so I can't pretend anymore".

So a jig is something people use to make boats. It also has something to do with saws and puzzles. None of these meanings make any sense in terms of how they use that phrase. The saw is up? The puzzle is up? The boat is up? What the heck do any of those things have to do with discovered lies?

Honestly, this is the race that feeds us cats. It's a miracle we all don't starve.