September 30, 2011

Another Famous Basset Hound Friday cancelled

I hate to keep cancelling them but unprecedented events keep coming up. This time around we have been moving all of our stuff to our new house (which meets basset approval - Layla tells me she will be blogging about this later on so I won't spoil the surprise). We also didn't have the internet at our new house until today so we missed lots of blogging, but we're back now.

But the biggest thing we haven't been able to keep up on is telling everyone how our family is doing. Daddy is doing OK, except he had allergies and said his brains were leaking slowly out of his head. But mama needs the power of the paw. My buddy Mango uses that phrase whenever there is a sick hound that needs everyone's good thoughts, so it ought to work here too.

That's Mango there (the one that looks like a horse). With paws that big he must be a good healer.

Our mama was sick yesterday and then she went to see the people vet last night. She didn't come home all night or most of the day today but she finally came back this evening. We wanted to jump on her and welcome her home but dad wouldn't let us. Then we noticed she was moving slowly and she is sleeping now. Dad says not to worry that she will get better, but that she had surgery and needs to rest. Her appendix came out apparently. Fortunately us hounds don't have appendixes. Still, mama needs all our basset well wishes to get better so we can jump on her again.

So that is what has been going on lately. It's good to be back! Stay tuned for more blogs.

September 26, 2011

Jowls of Fury will be offline for a bit

The hounds wanted me to let everyone know that we will be offline for a little while.  We just bought a house and we are moving all our stuff into it.  The internet is supposed to be hooked up on Thursday but we tried this company once before and they couldn't meet our needs - so we will see what happens.  In the meantime, rest assured that Rosco, Layla, and Breezy are doing their part to help us move boxes and furniture around.  The cats are doing their part to keep boxes from flying out of the room by weighing them down.

On a side note, please check out the blog Pet Blogs United.  They hosted us this week at this link.  PBU is a good place to find other interesting blogs written by dogs, cats, sheep, or any other pet.  Also remember that you can become a fan of Jowls of Fury on Facebook, where we post no real additional content whatsoever.

Thanks again for reading us, we'll be back online as soon as we can.

September 23, 2011

Famous Basset Hound Friday # 32

Well what a week it has been! We did all kinds of fun stuff! Layla and Breezy already blogged about the waddle so I won't go too much more into it, except to talk about the Great American Basset Races. I tried to race in them but I didn't get to place. It wasn't my fault - there was this really loud, obnoxious dog next to me that totally broke my concentration. I tried to lodge a complaint with the judges but they were too disorganized.

Then, to make matters worse, daddy was snuggling with the wrong hound. My buddy Barnaby moved in on my turf and got lots of belly rubs from daddy.

Who does he think he is?

So I pouted.


Anyway, I got over that eventually and got on with my life. A hound only lives so long and there are lots of belly rubs to be had and naps to be taken. Which brings us to this week's famous hound! I had a hard time picking one after seeing so many cool hounds at the waddle last week. But eventually it came to me: the only obvious hound we could honor given the 14th Annual Basset Waddle.

This week's hound is the Guardian Angel Basset!

We don't know this hound's name but it is obviously an angel with the halo and all. Most of us bassets are angels anyway despite what dumb cats might say. But the GABR Angel is a representative of all the good work the foster parents and basset owners and rescuers and other people who like to waddle have been doing for the past 14 years. Almost 4,000 hounds have found their permanent homes thanks to these guys.

So that's our famous hound for this week!

And here's a picture of daddy and me at the waddle! With our hats!

September 21, 2011

Another successful waddle

Well it was a long, hard weekend, but we had another successful waddle. You may remember that I was famous last year for my costume. This year was no different. We even got to go up on stage this year! Our costumes were for the 70's, and there were even some people who got dressed up - against their better judgement I think.

Here is my awesome costume - I was a hound dog globetrotter

Here is one questionable human costume

Things were a little different this year though. Breezy came along with us and she was kind of mean the whole time. I made sure to make the rounds and introduce myself to the new hounds. I also saw some hounds from last year, like Noodle the Bleu Basset, Benjamin the Wheelie Hound, Walter the Wide Hound, Goomba the Giant Hound, and of course our buddies Barnaby and Scarlett with their people. It was a much nicer day for the bash this year but the waddle still had some rain. And I can't forget that grandma came again this year. They were still giving away a corvette but we didn't win it, and there was still a giant inflatable basset hound.

My buddy Benjamin and his cool 70's costume

Mr. Noodle the Bleu Basset

My buddy Ms. Scarlett, a former basset bikini model like myself

Another different thing this year was the camper. Mama and daddy brought it with us instead of staying in a hotel. There were ups and downs to it - on the one hand it was smaller and harder to get up on the bed (I even had to wait for someone to help me into the camper one time).

This step is too high, someone had better help me up

But on the other hand it didn't have an elevator in it so it was easier to go out in the morning, and we had our own yard with fence things so we didn't have to be on our leashes the entire time. There were lots of neighbors we had to bark at and mama even petted the wrong set of hounds - how this could happen I don't know but we made sure to howl our loudest.

Hey you were petting the wrong dogs!

We also had this umbrella that we got to sit under and it made for the perfect shade for hot, tired hounds.

I approve of this purchase.

So all in all it was another great waddle weekend. Hopefully next year's waddle is as much fun!

September 20, 2011

Wow what a weekend

My brother and sister are sleeping on the couch right now. It was an incredible weekend. I thought I had better put something on the blog or else all our readers will get bored with us and leave.

The first thing that happened was that grandma came. I was glad to see she did not bring Max or Maggie because they can be brats. Grandma came home before daddy so she let us out and we got to help her take a nap. Then daddy and mama came home and we all had fun barking and howling. The next day they got my chariot out and we went on a really long car ride. I was not so happy to be stuck in the small car with Rosco and Layla constantly bumping me but we eventually got to a place.

It was a new place and it smelled like lots of dogs. I didn't know what to do - I haven't been around lots of dogs before so it made me nervous. But they set up my chariot finally and we got to sleep in it. Mama and daddy were talking about Guardian Angels and waddling and all sorts of nonsense talk.

I like my chariot.

The next day we went to a park next to the chariot parking place. There were dogs running around off-leash everywhere. This was the part I didn't like because strange dogs would come right up to you and sniff you. I growled a few times but mostly I just stuck close to mom and dad - they were ready to wander off without me! They tried a silly hat on me. Rosco and Layla have regular hats but they wanted me to wear this really goofy one like I was an old lady hound or something.

Not my style.

Then dad set up this really cool umbrella thing and we got to sit under it. A lady with some hounds that they met before they got me came over. The new hounds were named Scarlett and Barnaby - neither of them bothered me so they are OK in my book. Rosco was supposed to run in a race or something but he was too scared by this barking dog. I don't blame him, it was an all-around scary day.

Too many dogs for me!

We slept in the chariot again that night and the next day we had to wear costumes. I felt silly in mine and they wanted me to go up on stage to show it off to all the other hounds but I wasn't having any of it. I put on the basset brakes and made them drag me up there.

I suppose you think we look cute?

Then we went on one of the longest walks I've ever been in. Normally I enjoy my walks but this one was a little weird - there were tons and tons of other bassets in it and all these people lining up the street to watch us walk. I guess they were trying to learn how to walk like a basset, who knows? But there were a few little kids so they got to pet me and love on me. That was a nice part, but I was a bit out of my element.

I like little kids.

Mom and dad kept trying to make me walk but I wouldn't budge. It rained a lot that day too and we were all wet. Then they invited Barnaby and Scarlett into my chariot - I wasn't too crazy about that but what can you do? I was so tired from the walking that I didn't put up much of a fight. Later that day we closed up my chariot and came back home.

Then the next day they took us to a new house! Daddy said it was all ours and we don't have to rent one anymore! And the best part is that there are no stairs and the yard smells a little like squirrels. Rosco and Layla keep telling me about squirrels - little mousy things that live in trees but sometimes come down into yards to be chased. I am looking forward to that!

So that was our long weekend. Sorry we didn't blog more but dad said there was no internet in my chariot. I will have to make him get some.

September 11, 2011

Stupid TV Commercial Sunday # 28

I have talked about stupid commercials involving the bathroom before. This one tops even that.

Human babies are even more disgusting than humans when it comes to bathroom needs. Babies wear things called diapers, which are pants that they go to the bathroom in. The unlucky parents have to change these periodically. Anyway, I guess the better a diaper is at holding stuff in the better the parents feel. Or something.

They have ruined rap for me. And I hope there are never any babies in this house.

September 9, 2011

Famous Basset Hound Friday # 31

This week's super-last minute Famous Hound comes from a high-powered political family. Yes, we are talking about the hound that directed Dick Cheney through our nation's darkest hours.

Meet Cyrano!

Yes Cyrano was the hound of the Dick Cheney family. We can't find out much about him but at one point we know Mr. Cheney stepped on him and he growled back at him. We did learn that Mr. Cheney wants people's heads to explode. So, this was probably a person who owning a basset hound could not cure. But either way, Cyrano is our newest famous hound!

September 8, 2011

The terrible tri-color twosome

Rosco and Breezy have really been pains lately. Mama has had to yell at them several times for being bad dogs. Especially when she is cooking and Rosco gets in the way. I learned a long time ago that a lady needs her space when she is in her special place. That's why I don't like to sleep on the couch when lots of other dogs come piling up there with me - I need my beauty rest. Well, mama's special place is in the kitchen. I am also more likely to get samples of what she is cooking if I stay on her good side. Her peanut butter cookies are delicious!

Rosco is just a misbehaving child. He likes to shred things like tissue paper, and he is always trying to get into things he shouldn't like litter boxes and trash cans. He also likes to play toss the sock, and he gets hollered at all the time for stealing dirty laundry and running around the house with it. Lately he has been unrolling toilet paper. Me, I like to lay on the couch and snooze. The worst thing I ever do is chase cats and that's only because they deserve it.

Breezy is a high-strung basset. I have tried to teach her how to be cool and snoozy like me but she would rather gallop around the house like a newborn horse and howl at the top of her lungs. She also gets really bossy when I feel like play-fighting and barks in my face. I try and knock her over but with those long legs it can be difficult sometimes. She is also very demanding of mama and daddy when it comes to snuggling and it is just not worth it to try and outcompete her to get some belly rubs.

Neither one of them are any good at walks. Rosco just runs too fast while Breezy usually stops and gets drug behind us. I'm the only one who walks at the right pace. And playtime is the worst - I can't win because they gang up on me. Breezy attacks from above and Rosco tries to bite my legs. Tonight I was playing with my squeaky pig and daddy threw it for me. Breezy tried to steal it but I beat her to the toy. Then daddy chased me and told me to give him that squeaky pig, and I made him run all over the house. Finally I was laying on the couch grooming Mr. Squeaky Pig and then Breezy stole my toy!

I need new siblings.

September 7, 2011

Uh oh

... there are boxes everywhere again.

Uh oh...

September 4, 2011

Stupid TV Commercial Sunday # 27

I have seen enough Famous Basset Hound Fridays get all the attention around here. I am tired of this rosy standard that the stumpy little slobberers try to paint about their breed. Let me be the first to tell you that they are NOT all that.

Exhibit A.

Rosco likes to point out the long, storied history of the basset hound, and how they make such great spokesmen for different beloved American brands. Nothing could be further from the truth. They are in fact frightening, monstrous creatures that should not be trusted with the sale of shoes (literally).

Literally, something out of a horror movie!

But it doesn't end there. That was just a commercial - I present to you Exhibit B, the real deal.

Now we could be generous and assume this dog has some sort of mental deficiency. Instead I choose to ridicule and belittle this pitiful creature from a safe distance. An enraged hound can slobber all over a cat's silky coat and remove countless hours of cleaning.

It would be acceptable for these hideous creatures to walk the same Earth as us cats if they were as stupid as they looked. I am a benevolent cat, I can agree to allow lesser creatures to grovel at my feet. But basset hounds are shifty, untrustworthy, and all around a bad deal. I present to you Exhibit C.

The cat rests his case.

September 3, 2011

Hound Dog Time

As you may have noticed we missed Famous Basset Hound Friday yesterday. I would like to apologize to all my blogging basset buddies who no doubt lost precious sleeping time as they fretted over how they were going to get through their Friday without learning about another famous hound.

But I have a good excuse. I have decided to start practicing for my singing career. Mama inspired me to write this song, because our parents don't live on the same clock as we do. We have to wake them up every morning to go outside and go potty, and it seems like whenever we really want to take a nap they want us to wake up to do something. We're never on the same page when it comes to baths. Clearly there is a lot of conflict here, and conflict is a great breeding ground for excellent music.

It is a well-known fact that hounds are among the most gifted dogs when it comes to music. So all we really had to do was write a song and it would immediately become a big hit.

So Layla and Breezy and I were laying around the other day when it hit us - we could write a song that underscored the differences between people and basset hound schedules. After a lot of intensive napping and brainstorming we came up with a pretty good set of lyrics. We also had a great tune picked out but it turns out some guy had already stolen it from us. Our basset law firm will be in contact with him shortly but in the meantime we present to you the soon-to-be famous song "Hound Dog Time".

Hound Dog Time
Rosco, Layla, and Breezy
The Hounds of Jowls of Fury

We wake up in the morning
Daddy's still in bed snoring
Got to wake him up right
But if we jump up there
And step on mama's hair
She wakes up in a terrible fright

Livin' on hound dog time
Livin' on hound dog time
Mama's not a morning person
So we have to make certain
Livin' on hound dog time

So we stay on the floor
And whine a little more
We try to remember our place
We look over at the door
And dream about the score
Then lick daddy on his face

Livin' on hound dog time
Livin' on hound dog time
It's time to feed your hounds
Get out of bed right now
You're livin' on hound dog time

Then they go to work on time
And we get left behind
To sleep away the day in our crates
Then dad comes home for lunch
And we get snacks for brunch
Then nap with him while we wait

Livin' on hound dog time
Livin' on hound dog time
We're glad you work for our food
But crating us can be so rude
Livin' on hound dog time

When mama comes home sometimes
We greet her with our smiles
And let her give us belly rubs
We know she likes those times
And we don't have to climb
Into her lap to get our love

Livin' on hound dog time
Livin' on hound dog time
We like mama's lap
A good place to take a nap
Livin' on hound dog time

When we go for a walk
We barely get to talk
Our parents make us move so fast
When we get back in the door
We lay upon the floor
And rest up to the very last

Livin' on hound dog time
Livin' on hound dog time
We're wasting our hound noses
We want to stop and smell the roses
Livin' on hound dog time

But car rides are so fun
We enjoy every one
And stick our heads out in the breeze
We pass by all the crowds
And watch them watch our jowls
And wish they were so cool as we

Livin' on hound dog time
Livin' on hound dog time
Our family basset-mobile
Sits up high on all four wheels
Livin' on hound dog time

So at the end of our long day
We always end it the same way
Resting our weary basset heads
We wait for daddy to say
It's bedtime, head that way
Then we get back up on the bed

Livin' on hound dog time
Livin' on hound dog time
Sometimes life can be tough
And usually it's pretty rough
When your parents don't live on hound dog time!